I asked my boyfriend about sharing passwords and his response was "lol no." What should I do?

[Anonymous]

So we've been together about six months, and I know the pin to his phone but haven't had a chance to go through it and make sure he's not talking to other girls behind my back, so today I texted him and asked him for his FB password and he refused, wanted to know why I want it and when I explained why he said "lol no, I'm not giving you my passwords just for that" and I told him how in relationships couples should share passwords but he won't budge and says I have two choices - have a relationship without his passwords, or not, what do I Say / do?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks all but one of you for not even being slightly helpful.

If he's not doing anything wrong why does it matter?

[admles]

You've been together six months and already making such demands.

You don't need his passwords.

What you have essentially done already is accuse him of doing shady things, you've literally admitted you just want to snoop. I don't blame him for not giving them to you.

My wife doesn't have my passwords, she knows the PIN to my phone and has never snooped, because she trusts me.

If she was ever uncertain or unsure, we'd talk about it, and if necessary, I would show her a relevant conversation.

Your relationship won't last, he will dump you within 3 months if that's your attitude - essentially making an accusation with no proof.

[apahe4]

Honestly the “answer” to this doesn’t rely on any of us commenters, it relays on you and your boyfriend and if you wanna trust your boyfriend, the same way that he can trust you. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years and have never shared each other’s passwords nor accounts personal informations. We trust each other enough to know that we aren’t hiding shady things from each other, but of course if you wanna see your partners passwords and you both have to agree on it and shouldn’t force your partner in doing so. Maybe reassurance would be better and would help you feel better? I’m not sure.

hope everything goes well for you guys

[Anemone978]

I don't think that is needed... if he doesn't want to give you the passwords you should trust him.. But do not give him your passwords even if he asks..
Really cheating isn't something you need to worry about unless he gave you signs of something..

[Lliam]

Wanting snoop through his phone is like wanting to rifle through his personal belongings, read his personal diary, go though his mail, wire tap his conversations, or have him followed. That's some sick shit.

If a girlfriend asked for my password, I would know that she couldn't be trusted.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you feel the need to check his phone, then you aren't ready to be in a relationship.

[OlderAndWiser]

In the future, if you don't want people to give you sincere and candid advice, you should add a warning to your post asking for responses only from people who agree with you.

[Anonymous]

You never give a woman your password. If she's not secure enough in the relationship, if she cannot trust you then it's better just to let her leave it isn't going to get any better.

I gave a woman my passwords once. So she could feel safe and she gave me hers (even though I didn't ask for it). But she suggested we keep them so we know we can look at eachother's account, but not look to shoe eachother trust. We'll one day I got curious and went to go check hers and come to find out she gave me an invalid password. Come to find out she looked at mine several times. Of course she found nothing because I'm a loyal, faithful person.

So this my friends is what a woman means when she talks about trust.

Now when I woman asks for my password it's a hard "NO". Doesn't matter what she says, doesn't matter her reasoning.

[Dinklex3]

I don’t see why he should have to compromise his privacy for your insecurities?

You want the ability to read his private messages (friends/family) and see who he is talking to? It sounds like something a high schooler would ask for.

[Chayce]

This right here

[Dinklex3]

@asker It matters because it shows you’re insecure and think your partner isn’t entitled to any privacy.
You’re a walking red flag. You can’t even see that you are in the wrong.

[sheikalana]

My parents been married for 34 years and they don't know each other's passwords. I'm married too and me and my husband don't share each other's passwords either. People in relationships are entitled to their own privacy. Stop being nosy.

[Anonymous]

Oh my fucking goodness. FMD why the fuck are you even in a fucking relationship when immediately you are thinking he is cheating and you are clearly showing you have trust issues. You are not his wife, he doesn't have to give you access to anything.

I agree with him have a relationship without the passwords or go be single.

[slatyb]

It doesn't matter if she is his wife.

[Opinion Owner]

@slatyb oh go away and stop jumping on people's opinions

[Opinion Owner]

@Asker so none of us were helpful because we didn't agree that you had the right to his password. You are so not ready to be in a relationship if you can't accept this. There are millions of guys in the world who are loyal and still don't share their passwords. Why? Because they don't have a jealous insecure nosy girlfriend who wants or needs his passwords. Get a life seriously.

Also who gives a fuck if he is talking to other girls, maybe those girls were his friends because you came into the picture or is he not allowed to have female friends.

Seriously get a life

[slatyb]

No, couples shouldn't share passwords. Where did you hear that? A couple is still two separate people, and they are entitled to have private thoughts and private conversations.

[provokeesmokee]

He laid out his boundary, so it's your call now.

Not every couple shares passwords. That's not a thing. It's individual.

If he doesn't want to share, and you can't accept that, then break up.

[Anonymous]

Six months in and you already don’t trust him. This relationship is not going to last.

[LazerBean]

A 6 month relationship is not very long or strong in most cases. That's crazy.

[shortster]

Drop it. You shouldn't share passwords with anyone.

[Nikki1989]

Well, you have a huge red flag right there. Only men trying to hide something have a problem with sharing passwords.

[Chayce]

Sorry but Instagram & other Social Media sites say “never share your password”

[In_Trance]

You're wrong and you need to stop this toxic crap before you fuck everything up

[MJtheCoach]

I would’ve never gone in a relationship with you if I was him. Or I worked broke up with you immediately. Zero negotiation.

[Juxtapose]

Your insecurities do not trump his privacy.

[A_Bell]

Stop being nosey?