How over time do you fix being a disappointment in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Like my girlfriend states I dissapoint her a lot and it makes her go cold in the relationship like I can tell sometimes she seems checked out

Updates

1 y

Like everything I accidentally forget to do I’m a disappointment

[Bellona]

Every time you disappoint her tell her 'I am very sorry, thus, I want to change, what can I do next time?' People hate it when you just say sorry you should also ask what you could do to make things better. To stay in a healthy relationship you need to communicate often about feelings, she is doing that so you should communicate back with the intent to fix things. People tend to stay in relationships when their partner has excellent communication skills. For example, Tell your partner how you feel about anything, happy, sad or angry and ask your partner often how are they, whether are things getting better at work and so on. Your partner will feel the closeness in wanting to tell you things because you have presented yourself as a listener and carer. This will make your partner want you to change and want to help you not disappoint her because she will know deep down that your care for her. I heard an expert on relationships say that if your partner tells you 'there is a funny story in the newspaper' to not reply with 'i am busy, I have to go to say instead 'what is it?' 'i will find out after work i guess' and remember to ask her after work.

[nspencer]

Sounds like maybe you guys need to work on communication and have a conversation on what each other need. You shouldn’t have to be a mind reader on what the other wants.

[Asker]

But she doesn’t like communication because it triggers her and gets on her nerves when I try to talk about stuff

[nspencer]

If you can’t communicate with your partner there is no relationship. I would say you need to reconsider thing with her cause it’s going to get pretty toxic for you.

[Asker]

Is this normal at all like many people say we lack communication but every time I try to talk she says I’m lecturing her and it triggers her

[nspencer]

That’s not normal at all. In a healthy relationship both people should be able to talk about whatever the other wants to talk about. It’s a red flag to me that she dismisses what you say as lecturing. It’s a devaluation basically.

[ShadezMcgee]

If she is acting like that, I say don't waste any more time and just end it. You are already accepting responsibility for the entire problem when she herself is contributing to the relationship as well.

[Guy13]

Serve the other person in a caring but not abusive way. Ephesians % lays it out.

[Guy13]

Ephesians 5

[Bethany22]

You need to ask her if there's anything else you can do for her more often. Anticipate her needs

[Noahzaid]

Sorry to tell you this, this post is old as a 24 days old baby😂

[Asker]

I have tried that she doesn’t like communication it’s annoying and triggering for her

[TroyDT2]

Disappoint her how? Is it that you are inattentive or otherwise failing, or is it that you are not meeting her unrealistic expectations? If it's the former you should correct it. If it's the latter you should exit.

[Juxtapose]

I would tell her to find a new boyfriend because I'm not dealing with this emotional manipulation. You either tell me what I'm doing wrong and help work with me to get a solution going or you shut the fuck up.

[dustybiker]

Ask for a serious conversation without judgement. Then you each explain to each other what you need.

[Twalli]

Has she given you specifics? Without knowing specifically how you're being a disappointment, you can't change.

[BJP21]

Time itself will heal it, but if they aren't letting it go, it becomes abusive.

[red324]

Give her a raging good orgasm