How do you get over the pursuer/distancing dance when things go wrong in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Any advice would be appreciated… I suppose this is quite a common dynamic so I’m wondering how couples overcome it…

[Batsy01010101]

sincere and heart felt geniune apologies and try your best to make amends sometimes words aren't enough sometimes genuine sincere actions will speak more volumes then empty words for a fake apology alone

[Asker]

Thank you. So you’re basically saying that there are hurt feelings somewhere when men distance themselves? I trust him and don’t think he’s playing with me. What I see on his actions is that he wants distance and for my part I desperately want to ‘fix’ the relationship and close the gap. But I can only respect his wish so I feel stuck and sad. I’m considering just leaving him alone and truly be on my own for a bit, even if it pains me. This may be what I need in the end

[Batsy01010101]

who screwed up you or him?

[Asker]

None of us… well I’m kinda mad at him for ignoring me/distancing and that’s it basically

[Batsy01010101]

Why has he been ignoring you and distancing himself from you? Did you upset him or hurt him?

[Asker]

Well he just always behaves this way and he used to say he’s busy and he’s sorry and I shouldn’t take it personally… now I’m not even asking I’m just truly hurt, and feel like the door is closed for any conversation

[Batsy01010101]

Speaking from personal experience when i ignore her and not speak to her for a few days it's because im hurt and mad and upset by something she said or did

[Batsy01010101]

Two nights ago she hurt me so bad the last time i spoke to her was the morning after hadn't talked to her since. I still can't that's how much I'm still hurting. Tbh i don't even want to look at her or hear her voice or see anything she posts without getting more upset and hurt. The amount of pain she caused and inflicted on me two nights ago shit like that you just can't take away no matter what she may do to try and make up for it which i doubt will be anything

[Asker]

Im sorry to hear that… relationships can be so fucking painful I felt so hurt and disrespected… that was a few weeks ago I’m still hurt but mostly sad and feel rejected and still hanging there desperately and losing my self estime… I understand he has ‘issues’ that have nothing to do with me but still hurts as hell. I want to break up really even if I love him… anyway thanks for replying I will keep that in mind :) and good luck with your relationship :)

[Guy13]

Go your own way in confidence and date.

[LazerBean]

Depends on what went wrong and how frequently something going wrong happens in your relationship.

[Wise4myage]

Go have yourself some rebound sex.