How to learn to accept im unattractive to most women?

[Tomisworthless]

I like pretty girls yet they ignore me and dont have interest in me at all im still a 28yr old virgin who struggles with being loved

Updates

+1 y

i believe im just a very boring average looking shy quiet cowardly man that nobody wants to be seen with or associated to

[AmandaYVR]

• Join a gym, or take up a sport, where you will naturally tone up and build muscle. Then learn how to dress right, for your body type.
• Go shopping for some new clothes, and really put some thought into how to coordinate some interesting outfits. Don't get all basic pieces. A great pair of leather cool ankle boots, for instance. Or a versatile jacket that can go day to night. A pinstripe hat, worn with urbanwear can look very cool. Can't afford it? Try a thrift store and go vintage, as vintage as possible. Remember Macklemore's song, "I wear my grandpa's clothes..." It was a hit. Today's fast fashion is kind of shite quality. Getting new clothes/a different style can do a lot to help your confidence. You feel freshened up, walk with more of a strut. Maybe you like Doc Marten type combat boots. They make you feel like a badass. Maybe girls won't necessarily love the boots, but they will notice you seem comfortable in your own skin. That's the goal.
• Try to remind yourself that, despite common belief, it is not merely 'the beautiful people' who find love/get in relationships. It's really true. You have to believe this.
• Take some acting or improv classes. They break down some walls, and teach people how to riff and be more spontaneous and playful.
• Learn how to make conversation with people. There is a technique that involves talking to all types of people, and starting small. You begin with kids and dogs. Just say hi to them, give them a pet on the head. That's easy enough. Then the person behind the counter in a retail store. When you walk up, "Hey there, how's your day going today?" You build up slowly. The girls you find attractive, and that are the real goal, are the last on the list. Baby steps. It's an incremental process of getting comfortable with chit chat. (When the girls ignore you or look awkward, just remember, it's not about you. They're going to be suspicious, but don't worry about it. The more comfortable you are, the less weird they will think it all is.)
• Join groups or organizations that have common interests. See if you can get any groups to do group things. Many girls (~40% on polls here) feel more comfortable starting off as friends, or friendly. And they feel safer in groups.
• Work in a place that has a high concentration of females. You'll learn how to interact with them in everyday ways, without necessarily trying to hit on them. But you'll learn what they like, how they think, in a relaxed setting where you have a purpose to be there.
• The more you can talk to them like they're one of you, of your tribe, gender, etc., the better the conversations will flow. They're not aliens, they're human, just like you. If you can joke around with guys, you can learn to do it with girls too. You just have to change some of the topics a bit.
• Many girls like video games now. Maybe do some online gaming and see if any will talk with you. You can build confidence through your voice, and what you say (which really appeals to females who are more verbal), and your physical appearance is taken out of it.

I have no idea your taste, but this guy is cool yet still casual.

[AmandaYVR]

Ay yay yay with the Update! Don't be a defeatist. Your personality is the most important part!

[SnowedIn]

This is gold here. You should be on the lecture circuit. @Asker: this. All of what she wrote.

[AmandaYVR]

@SnowedIn hahahaa 🎩 Much obliged, Sir.
All that, and still no thank you!

[SnowedIn]

Ironic, no?

[AmandaYVR]

@SnowedIn Fitting.

[AmandaYVR]

Houston, I think I see the real problem...

[Tomisworthless]

? Thats just how it seems given my lifes story

[AsaKyo]

Out of all the girls who ignore you, there will be one special girl who sees the beauty in you and you won't even realize it because you're spending all your time chasing down girls who show no interest in you

[Tomisworthless]

I've noticed some girls have liked me sure but not girls that i want to pursue.

[Tomisworthless]

also i dont use dating apps, its been at least 3-4 years. Only match with bots, emo fat girls or transexuals. Note i would swipe right on everyone because if i were to be picky on tinder with my swipes then id surely wouldn't make any matches.

[RolandCuthbert]

It is all about your self-confidence and self-esteem. You need to practice socializing. Find a way to go out in groups. Focus on developing yourself and your interests.

[Tomisworthless]

doesn't self esteem and confidence come from how your viewed and treated. Like a guy who gets attention women is confident in himself knowing he can get women based on his life experiences

[RolandCuthbert]

I don't get it. Do you think all my life, I was told I was great looking and awesome?

I posted my photo her at GaG. The people here rated me a 4. I am sure if you posted your photo, you would get a lot better than that. Yet and still I have no fear talking to or approaching beautiful women.

Dude, you can look like Zac Efron, but if you don't have the confidence to go with it, you will never get a date.

[Tomisworthless]

Ok well thanks for help im not upset that im alone thats all I've ever known im hurt that people feel the need to prey on me and insult when id rather just be ignored politely

[Guy13]

Go to gym and put on muscles. Most of those guys are butt ugly but getting laid !!

[ElizaPam]

I don't care about a guys looks I only care if he's sweet I just want a sweet guy so bad they always turn out to be mean 🥺

[Tomisworthless]

go for the ones who seem bad cause they just might be sweet as the ones who potray niceness just hide their true selves

[Anonymous]

Man up and get on with life. Whining won't achieve anything.

[Tomisworthless]

not whining im asking. Way to act like them

[WhitneySnow]

Try liking an average girl

[Tomisworthless]

I do, girls from what u consider 6-8s i like dont want to settle for less. No need to put more ugly unloved and rejected children on this earth