My wife is constantly pushing my kids towards the sciences (SPACE / PHYSICS?

[Anonymous]

My wife who has a phd in astrophysics but is on maternity leave for our youngest (3 months) is constantly pushing out 4 year old.

everything she does with him is teaching him mathematics, the planets, solar systems, all about the universe and so on…since they are both at home it’s at least 5-6 hours a day of teaching him these things.

everything he has is space related, his room, his toys, his clothes, you name it

he seems to love it and not get bored but I’m worried she's pushing him too hard

he already knows his multiplication, division and is starting on fractions and so on so he is definitely above average in intelligence

what do i do

[Rosexøxø]

No no, better to be pushed and realize, and have the luxury to choose what you want later. To have the option; to have the skills. Extra tools in hand.

To not push and let them float about, until they find a passion that they doubt, and struggle to uphold, is just saddening.

I told my sister the same about her son. At least tell him he’s good at soccer, and encourage him to work at it. Then when he peaks, or graduates, he can decide if he wants to do that, or do something else.

If he wants to do it- he’s ready; if not, he can simply fall back, give himself some slack, and search for other things.

Any kid can search. We see them do so in egg hunts, but it’s such a good thing to help them know what it means to work hard at something, especially if it’s somewhat enjoyable to them.

If they HATEE it, then yeah, stop abusing their mental/ physical capacities, and misusing their (quality/) time.

Of all things they should be enjoying life, but give them one or two things to be proud of. I didn’t choose band. My mom told me to take it instead of gym class (I was severely asthmatic and received a terrible injury the teacher should have acknowledged/ and tended, instead of by-passing it. We could’ve sued).

Point is, I chose band class, and what was supposed to be a year thing-

ended up being a 6 year thing… until my graduation, senior year, of high school.

I was proud of what I was a part of. I developed a love for it. I didn’t hate it. It was amazing. When I mastered a decent amount of that skill- I could’ve decided to quit it, but I stayed. Do I regret staying? Not even close.

[kylee2437]

Has she asked him if he’s actually interested in these things? Kids need to be involved in more than one activity at that age

[Asker]

Hasn’t exactly asked but he seems to love black holes and space things, but I think it’s because she hasn’t really encouraged him to do artsy things

[kylee2437]

@asker so since she’s so heavily oriented on research, find some research online that says why children strive when they are doing multiple activities and explain your case.

[NamerOfStars]

Well, unless he seems bothered or uninterested, you let that continue- and perhaps you introduce him to OTHER things; teach him about literature, or painting, or construction equipment. Take him bowling, bring him to the zoo, plan out a meal that he can help prepare and then do it together. The world's full of lots of interesting things, and kids do best when shown it all. Adults, mostly as a consequence of not reading enough Heinlein, tend to specialize; kids are, in that regard, smarter.

If you're worried he might feel forced into it, show him that there are other options. Yes, he'll probably see that you're doing things that she isn't, but that's okay; kids learn different things from their different parents. Your wife is probably just showing him what her world is like; if you bring it up phrased like "I was thinking the three of us could...", suggesting it as an ADDITION, rather than "I'm worried you're pushing astronomy too hard", she's not likely to see it as an attack, and you can show your boy that people (even adults) have varied interests, and that's good too.

[Avicenna]

That's good. Kids should be introduced to things like that. Astronomy was the first science and is something that's fascinating to kids and kids can understand basic physics concepts like force and motion. Physics really should be introduced to kids before biology and chemistry anyway.

[Asker]

I agree but he’s passed that point of just basic Astronomy.. she wants to literally teach him things that she learnt at a university level.. special relativity, quantum mechanics

[Avicenna]

If she can put it in terms he can understand, I don’t see why not. He’s arc as n age when kids listen to their parents, do take advantage of it.

[Avicenna]

I taught my daughter a lot about chemical reactions and the properties of important elements when she was that age

[TheSpaceGnome]

You do nothing to inhibit that, thats a good mom.

Teach your son about natural history or technology, and be a good dad.

Art will come as a result of any of those, intelligence is the birthplace of creativity.

[Asker]

She is a lovely mom, and is extremely intelligent genius level to the point is scares me sometimes.

I guess I just don’t want my kids growing up maybe wanting to do something else and having felt they let their mother down

[Rosexøxø]

Well said @Thespacegnome

I couldn’t have said that any better 👌

[TheSpaceGnome]

Don't worry about that, people educated in sciences have so many job options that anyone teaching them science expects them to pick from a huge list of career options.

They could be an engineer, a technician, an astronaught, a physicist, a paleontologist, a geologist, a biologist, a doctor, a vet, an artist, a writer, an archeologist, an ecologist, the list goes on so long that I'd have to spend a month adding to it just to mention them all.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Rosexøxø glad to hear :)

[TheSpaceGnome]

Even if no career comes of it, the utility value for self servicing is so high from knowing physics, that it can be life changing.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Your kids might even become inventors. The ideal "marriage" of science and art.

[Asker]

I agree. Thanks for your input man really appreciate it

[SlothySlob]

Are you worried the kid is not going to look up to you, because you're dumber than mom?
Is that the worry? Instead of thinking, huh this kid might work at Nasa or SpaceX and actually contribute to society, you're complaining that the kid is too smart for my britches and he's never going to look up to me.

[Asker]

It’s not that, I mean what kid wants to learn about special relativity and quantum mechanics at 4/5? She’s not just teaching him the order of planets he literally knows about black holes, quasars, multiverses and so on

[SlothySlob]

And that's bad, because? Right now space is in the realm of the fantastical for him, why not take advantage of his wonder to enhance his imagination and knowledge? If he's showing interest, why not support it by building it together with him?

[dustybiker]

What exactly is the problem? He’s not complaining or you would have written that.

[Asker]

It’s because she doesn’t encourage him to do other things like artsy things

[dustybiker]

So you’re the father, right. Pick up the slack? That can be your thing together. What he learns to enjoy with you.

[Asker]

He does to sports with me and we go to the park and do other things but I work full time so aren’t around as much as her.

[dustybiker]

Buy some art books and supplies. If the tools are there you can use them when you do have free time.

[A_Bell]

You can't go wrong learning math. Having him think it is fun is great. Let her do it.

[Luckycharms12]

Say not comfortable with her doing it sounds like you're not

[Asker]

I have hinted it and the time I did she said she wants her children to continue the legacy of being in physics/space related fields. Her parents her grandparents and 2 generations were in the sciences

[Luckycharms12]

As long as they are happy doing is most important. Plus their kids for now let them enjoy their childhood.

[Redstang88]

What’s the problem?

[Asker]

They might want to go into other fields when they are older and I fear they will feel they disappointed her

[Redstang88]

He’s 4, worry about that in a decade. Be grateful you’re gonna end up with smart kids