How often do you say “I love you” to your partner?

[Anonymous]

[OlderAndWiser]

I freqently whisper "Wǒ ài nǐ!" (she is Chinese) in her ear as we are spooned together, going to sleep, but not so often that it feels like a habit. Sometimes I call her in the middle of the day and tell her that. Sometimes, I just say it when we are in the car, going somewhere.

She had a bizarre childhood and was sent to live with relatives, then adopted by family friends, then returned to her family of origin when she was an adolescent. Her parents were both sterileand unemotional and she never heard any expressions of love from her parents, so I know relationshps are difficult for her. I try to make it easier.

[FunkyMonkee]

I say it quite often! There's no such thing as a girl I've been romantically involved with that DIDN'T feel or KNOW that she was loved by me!
Usually first thing in the morning and last thing at at night and several more times during the day. Sometimes I'd even wake up for a few seconds in the middle of the night and plant a soft kiss or two on her sleeping lips. If she also woke up, I might tell her again that I love her.

[Asker]

so sweet!

[FunkyMonkee]

Thank you! I try to be! And, even after we broke up, she said to me that she had no regrets!

[Asker]

life goals 👆

[FunkyMonkee]

Question: Why don't girls seems to like this? Any girl that gets romantically involved with me can have this! And they all CLAIM they want it but, none seem to actually want it!! If they did, I'd have THOUSANDS of them around at all times!! I'd be swimmin' in women!! So far, I've had THREE and ALL 3 OF THEM turned out to be married, at the time!!

[Asker]

Your married exes have married men who are unable or unwilling to fulfill a specific emotional aspect of their wives’ lives. You have helped to fill in those gaps for each of them.

Many men and women are hypocritical because they have experience one too many negative sexual or romantic experiences and as a result have consciously or unknowingly resolved the pain by binding their own emotions to avoid future hurt. They begin to embody the behavior that hurt them most and therefore live with constant inner conflict, desiring genuine and lasting emotional intimacy but refusing to pursue it, telling themselves subconsciously that a stream of different partners will suffice to fill the void.

[FunkyMonkee]

Yeah, pretty much! One claimed that he abused her and I DID see him sitting on her bouncing head on the floor, once! Number 2 wasn't so bad, as ffar a I know. his thing was verbal dis-respect. My singer & I were oover at their place one evening and he told her right in front oof us "Carol, my dick is dirty, it needs cleaned, will you suck it for me?" Now, at first, he just has a bizarre sense of humour so, we booth laughed at that but, seconds later, it struck me as not being very funny, at all!! That at LEAST borders on abuse!! I know, he was just trying to be funny in his usual shocking way but, that was going too far!! Now, number 3, I can kinda see why SHE would've SORT OF 'abandoned him! He got a sex change after they got married, and then reverted! Technically speaking, she WAS LEGALLY still married to the guy and he lived upstairs of her but, I can see why SHE''D want someone else.
In each of these 3 cases, we started out as friends and I had NO intention of "stealing" them away from their hubbies!! THEY came after ME!!
"Binding their emotions"? Do you mean, "blinding"?
Maybe, in psychology world but, I've NEVER had a stream of lovers!! Only 3, so far. The first two in the mid `80's and the third in the early `90's. Number 3 ended 21 years ago (as of next week).

[NZGirl07]

Literally multiple times a day haha. We just like to express our love verbally as well as in other ways.

[Asker]

very sweet

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

It shouldn’t be just how often you say it, more how often you show it. Actions speak louder than words..

[JHNS98]

I don't have a partner at the moment. Though my previous friend with benifits used to say "I love you" very much, perhaps excessively. I'm not sure if I have ever felt romantic love for or from anyone. I have observed romantic relationships from the outside before though, so I know what love looks like.

[Asker]

Thanks for sharing! Do you think you are a person who would vocalize “I love you” or be more inclined to show it instead of say it?

[JHNS98]

Probably a combination of both early on, and then later start to show it more than say it. Hard to say when I've been single my entire life.

[Asker]

I just read your profile. The PS cracked me up. Thank you for the laugh. 🙏🏻 Nobody really knows if or when true love will arrive, but what I tell myself is that loving yourself has to come first (this does not mean be selfish) but as long as you’re loving yourself and working on how to not hate aspects of yourself, you are on the right path. We’re not supposed to self-destruct here in mind or body, as hard as it gets, which is the test of life..

[JHNS98]

I have so much baggage to unpack before I can improve.. Or am I thinking about this all wrong?

[Asker]

Is it baggage over a friends with benefits?

[JHNS98]

Not just her, like 2-3 other crushes as well.

Yes, I said crushes, that's how bad it is...

[Asker]

You recognize it. No harm done. Best thing you can do is no more friends with benefits going forward. Gets too messy.

[JHNS98]

The heaviest baggage is not from that friends with benefits, but from a different girl with whom I have a bit of an awkward friendship.

You can find a trail of three questions related to her on my profile.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

It is not custom in my culture to say things like this. Neither my wife nor me hardly ever say such things. That said, we tend to say all the time that we love each other to other people. I love my wife! But maybe it has been a number of years since I said "I love you" to her. I think Western people find this sad but it's just a custom. We're more "show than tell" here.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

We still hold hands all the time, we sleep together, hug and kiss each other and not in a routine way (like we're supposed to do it, we actually want to do it), and take care of each other when sick or injured. It is just not custom here to say "I love you" or "I miss you so much" here. Again, we prefer show over tell.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

But I think I say "I love you" without those words all the time and in ways she understands in the way I touch her every day, in the way I cook for her when she is hungry and stressed and not wanting to cook or go out to a restaurant, when I take her to the doctor and make sure she takes her medicine when she is sick, when I try to find things we can do together when she is uninspired and bored.

[Asker]

Makes sense. 🙂 Showing love is very important. What is your culture?

[ZXCwWRQWz]

I am from Japan! Our closest approximation to "I love you" is "aishiteru", but it is very rarely said! That said, I got a convoluted history where I went to the US for high school and uni and even worked in the US for a period, and my wife speaks exceptionally good English for someone who spent her whole life here. So we speak in English a lot too but almost never "I love you" in English either.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

It is a bit painful for me sometimes to hear such words because I had an ex while I was in uni and she said "I love you" so much. And I used my Japanese expectation of how this is the rarest and hardest thing to say, and I thought she is practically read to spend her entire life with me. But after graduation she pursued a career on the opposite side of the country from mine (her east coast, I was west coast), and I still thought her "I love you" meant we could be together after a while and I clinged onto this hope even though we were so far away. But she broke up with me when I wished her a Happy Christmas in December while I was working in the West Coast and even a guy picked up the phone first (maybe her new boyfriend). I was so disappointed. But I especially like our Japanese way now -- less talking, more doing!

[Asker]

She was a jerk if she strung you along after you became long-distance and then got another guy without telling you. 😢 I am grateful you are happily married now though! And Japanese culture is beautiful.

[FlightlessPhoenix]

My boyfriend and I tell one another, "I love you," often. I, a tid bit more than him, but roughly for realistically even ~ so probs a 60/40 or so.🤷‍♀️🤷‍♂️
It depends on the importance to verbilizing, "I love you[s]," are in/to/for the relationship. Love can be spoken in many languages it is best if we learn to practice using them all with those we care about & love.
Xx

[katiesmuff]

Every morning, almost every day we call and always end with "I Love You" and every single night in bed even if we were having a bit of spat before bed.

[DancingQueen16]

Almost everyday because we text a lot because we both of us are currently in college and we don't see each other as much as we used to in high school but my point is we say "I love you" pretty often

[Allforit]

not enough probably. Just the normal when getting off the phone, or when leaving the house to go to work or something. I should be saying it more I’m sure, it’s just never been a big deal to me to say it a 100 times a day. Lol

[bubblegunnn]

I dont have a partner rn but i said i love u to my ex before we r going to bed and after we r argued or sometimes when one of us r going something to travel..

[Kreneman]

Almost every day because she is going to be my wife.

[Asker]

congrats 🎊

[Kreneman]

Thank You 😊

[Asker]

You are welcome

[tfan1]

Everyday when she leaves for work, when I say good night to her. And when we are intimate 😉

[Asker]

Very nice!

[tfan1]

Thank you 🙂

[FireGodGoesSeeknFire]

At least twice a day as it is a part of both our rituals when I leave for work and when we go to bed at night.

[Illustrator01]

My first relationship, never had an interaction where I couldn't slip it in.

Now, I make a conscious effort not to say it often so as to not drive her away

[Asker]

That is sweet.

[Jaximus-Lion]

Here is an overrated opinion that is super clingy and just as many of close friends called it, it maked feel sick 🤢. Since autumn of 2009, we told each other (i love you) and mean it, everyday. Seriously! every single day.

[Pinup_Scarlett46]

Wish I have someone to say that too

[Asker]

part of what makes us all human ^_^

[Guardian45]

Find someone

[dustybiker]

Several times a day. Always naturally though. 🥰

[Phoenix98]

Only had one partner where it was applicable and it was so long ago I can’t really remember how much we said it.

[RavVid]

On separating for work an reuniting from same. During sex. Anytime i feel affection for her.

[worldscolide]

Along with things like "you're the most beautiful woman on the planet to me" daily at least if not multiple times a day.

[sheikalana]

I used to say it everyday when I was in a relationship.

[Emmdk]

At least twice a day. Every morning when we say goodbye and every evening before going to sleep. Some days I'll say it more often if I feel like it in the moment ☺️

[dreamstar72]

We say “ I love you” to each other about thirty times a day, but at night time we say “I love you MORE” about twenty time to each other.

[USMC-Crossroads]

As often as I can, provided it doesn't bother her.

[Anonymous]

Every moment of every day

[bamesjond0069]

Usually a lot. And she usually says it a lot to me too.

[Guardian45]

I believe in saying EVERYDAY, WHENEVER, especially for NO REASON AT ALL!

[Noahzaid]

I don’t have a partner.

can you answer my recent question, Please!

[CindyRuns]

At least once a day.. if not more !!!

[Adogdog]

Well I'm single right now lol

[Asker]

gotcha

[petitedollbabee]

at least 3 times a day. It never gets old.

[SnowedIn]

Multiple times every day.

[rosemilk]

usually every day

[Nikki1989]

Several times a day.

[elizamichale1]

Almost everyday

[Ms_Facesitter]

Out loud, not often. In my head, everyday.

[Tina19]

We say it daily to eachother

[KatherineJ]

At least three times a day

[melanieeeB]

I still have never said that out loud to a partner

[Asker]

And no harm in that. Better to not throw it around and wait until you mean it. 🙂

[melanieeeB]

I have meant it in my head with my last ex and I was about to say it out loud but my gut feeling stopped me and well 3 weeks later I'm single lol

[Asker]

you have good gut reflexes

[Sparkie460]

I tell my wife I love her several times a day.

[loveslongnails]

Every day, more than once.

[Cuttie_Country_Girl]

Every day as much as I can!

[admles]

Multiple times a day!

[CubaPirate]

At least daily

[cootjuhh]

at least once before sleep everyday

[LavLavLuv]

I don’t even have a partner 🙂

[Asker]

If you did, how often would you said it? 😊

[BCRanger10]

Quite often.

[LazerBean]

Many times daily.

[qupid911]

Everyday.

[AsaKyo]

Only when I feel like it

[Anonymous]

Used to be every day when I had someone

[exitseven]

At least once a day.

[LordOfThePines]

Everyday, several times a day.

[Kkoalalita]

Don’t have one

[BLP11520]

Her? Never we are on the outs

[Rinvee]

Everytime i talk with him

[curlyfirecracker]

Daily.

[Dnice1]

Everyday 💘

[Twalli]

Almost every day

[lala_candy]

Everyday !!!

[Anonymous]

I say it to your mother all the time

[Alex8736]

i don't 😇

[Asker]

Are you more inclined to show it?

[Alex8736]

when a partner is involved 😘

[SmokinAces2000]

Every day