Am I wrong to be annoyed?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone me and my boyfriend have been together 5 years and have 2 kids once a week we get the kids minded we have our date night we usually have drink listen music wen we can we go out for something to eat

A few days ago I herd my boyfriend on phone to his friend inviting him to come drink with him on our date night this friend hasn't even spoke him in years and didn't congratulate my boyfriend when we had our kids it was like he got annoyed my boyfriend settled and had kids

Am i wrong to be annoyed he's arranged this on our night and hasn't even mentioned to me it's as if he's just not going say let him turn up

I want to say to my boyfriend o dont want drink with him and I'd rather he went his friend house himself but think my boyfriend going take me saying this as me starting an argument

It's just I can't help feel he's reaching out this old friend to try have bit his old lifestyle ( this friend was only around when my boyfriend drunk and partyed all the time) and push away from me abit he's been abit distant and snapping a lot lately and I can't help feel it's all related

I'm just dreading tomorrow now I dont know how to bring up I dont want be there and am annoyed he wants do this when our night off is ment be date night

All advice be great thanks

[Anonymous]

I don't know what you ended up doing since this post is a day old, but I’d say let him go, still plan to have the kids watched and enjoy a night to yourself. I know alone time is important and so are your dates, but by the sound of it you only get that one night of freedom, and if that’s the case it’s not really fair to commandeer it for your dates. The only other accommodation there is would be if you watched the kids one night and let him chill with his friends, but I think your bigger issue here is worrying he will fall back into toxic patterns, to which I’d say to let the chips fall. You can’t dictate his choices, and if he reverted back to that party life then you can’t stop him.

[melanieeeB]

It's little tricky in my personal eyes.
Yeah he should've asked or like talked with you about this first before ditching your date night
And also yeah Date nights are important

But I also understand that he wants to see his friend that he doesn't get to see often and he probably was so in the moment that he didn't think about talking with you first. Also it's just this one time and not a big deal actually, you two can still go out next week.

But also at the same time if you feel like he is being a little distant towards you lately, I would recommend telling him how you feel about that being distant and see what he says

[YourFavoriteFriend]

No, you are not wrong. He should have asked for your permission as it is both your night out and not his. As for the fact that you worry that he may want to have bit of his old lifestyle, I would think the same and would worry.

You must explain this to your guy and be clear. Don't keep this inside you, it never ends up well when that happens. Update the post when that happens and tell us what was his response.

[Carolus]

Yes, it’s just occasional. These are minor issues you let go for peace of mind.

[KrakenAttackin]

Classic female. Isolate him from his own friends and family so you can manipulate him at will. No wonder he hasn't offered you a ring.

[Asker]

I have never isolated him from his friends I wouldn't care if it was any other night this friend distanced himself once my boyfriend had kids and xouldnr drink and party all time like he does
And he did offer my a ring been engaged nearly a year

[KrakenAttackin]

Yeah, sure honey.

[Guy13]

No you are not.