Am I wrong to be annoyed by this?

[Koneko911]

I work at a daycare with toddlers. Which are supposed to be children 1-3. And when they turn three they go to the VPK room. But recently we accepted two kids who are cousins. A boy and a girl. The boy turns three tomorrow. The girl is four. Both have severe delays for their age. Not because anything is actually wrong with the kids either. The parents have them thinking they're still babies. The girl isn't being potty trained at all, she has a pacifier still, she doesn't try to talk and still has a bottle. She won't even feed herself. She expects you to do so for her. The boy is almost the same way. But he'll at least drink out of a sippy cup and can talk some. But he's also very delayed due to being babies by his parents. And both are being kept in my class due to this hinderence in their development that their parents caused. My kids are supposed to be being potty trained but the parents of these two don't want me doing that for them saying they aren't ready... and the girl will be five in September 😑. My class is being held back because I have to cater to these two because like babies they cry all day for attention because they expect ill hold and coddle them like their parents. And no work or teaching gets done in my class anymore because of this

[Andres77]

Maybe it's because they don't get any attention at home.

And they're desperate for the attention.

I'm not there, I don't know. It's just a thought.

It's not easy, giving kids what they don't get from their parents.

I applaud your efforts.

[Koneko911]

I have no problem giving kids attention. My problem is when kids who are well above the age of being a baby (we know babies cry and need way more attention). These kids won't even be independent really at all. And it's hindering them severely

[Andres77]

Ok, got it. I missed that

[bowenw]

You are not wrong to be annoyed by this. The daycare should have standards for accepting children including they be potty-trained by a certain age by the parents. If they aren't they should be rejected by the daycare's management. The rules should be part of a contract that parents sign when they apply for daycare at the facility.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[Anonymous]

I get that it’s frustrating for you. But how do you know that it’s simply down to their parents babying them at home? My friends daughter is the same way and she’s 7 but she’s in the process of an autism diagnosis.

[Opinion Owner]

If it’s that much of a problem with you then you should speak with their parents about their delays rather than sharing this information online. You should explain to them that they need more attention and you’re not able to provide that for them. Suggest their parents take them to somebody who is more equipped to deal with their needs.

[Koneko911]

Because they're capable of doing these things. The girl can use the restroom. I've taken her, she can eat on her own... she won't even use her hands. She wants me to feed her. You can tell after working with kids for over 8 years which kids are delayed because of a mental delay like autism. We have 2 like that. They're even more developed then these two kids

[Koneko911]

I've mentioned to the parents. They want me to wait for it feed their kids, and if need be chewed up their food for them. So yeah my frustration at them I'm sorry is warranted

[Opinion Owner]

If she can eat on her own and use the restroom then why are you saying that she’s barely potty trained and expects you to feed her? I’m not trying to be rude I’m just confused. But even so, I’ve also worked along side autistic kids and I’ve seen how they’ll do certain tasks with certain people but refuse to do them with other people.

[Koneko911]

Because being potty trained and being able to use it are different. I can take a child who's not being potty trained and sit then on a toilet and they'll use it at some point. That's just natural and will happen. The difference is this girl can do that. I can put her on it and sometimes she'll use it. The thing is her parents don't even want that. They want her in diapers to be changed because they don't think she's ready to use the potty yet. And again she's almost 5 and will start big kid school next year.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s what I’m trying to say, it could be that the girl feels more comfortable using the toilet if you’re helping her or maybe she feels more comfortable with the toilet at your facility. She may refuse to use the toilet at home which makes her parents believe she’s not ready to use it.

[Koneko911]

She's gonna be starting school next year. At some point they have to realize she's gonna have to be potty trained or the school will not accept her. And CPS would get called on them.

[Opinion Owner]

What are the kids like otherwise? Are there any signs of abuse other than they’re delayed? Bruises? Are they at a healthy weight? What are they like with the other kids?

[Koneko911]

The boy is fine playing with other kids. Get excited to do things and to be around them. The girl she just cries like babies do till she gets a bottle, you hold her or put tv on for her

[Opinion Owner]

In my opinion it sounds like some kind of disability and the parents aren’t aware or they don’t know how to cater to that disability. You should just call a meeting with the parents and tell them their kids are showing some concerning delays that need to be investigated. If they refuse to have their kids checked out then you know that the parents are just neglectful.

[Koneko911]

I've told the parents. That's how I know she expects me to feed the girl and chew her food for her like she does. The mom wants me to do all the babying things she's does

[Opinion Owner]

Then if the mother refuses to have her kids checked out you should report it. I don’t know what else you can do.

[LazerBean]

That's awful. I would definitely tell the boss that you want changes made and call CPS on them

[DryGermanGuy]

Uhm, what am I missing here? Why isn’t CPS on the ass of these „parents“? 🤬

[Koneko911]

When I do a ASQ (it's a thing to see their development) they probably will be. At least they'll have a Profesional do a development check on the child. But I've asked one of the parents about that and she got mad saying the kid doesn't need it

[DryGermanGuy]

Let’s hope it works out. Thank you for looking out for these children. I could not do this job. I cannot stand „helicopter-parents“.

[Koneko911]

You and me both. People really don't seem to understand parents babying a child does stunt them. They always wanna say the kid is autistic or something else. When no it's the parents fault for making the child believe they are still a baby

[DryGermanGuy]

Aaah, yes, the medical excuse. I have read of pediatricians complaining about an increased number of parents wanting them to diagnose their children with „something“. Because that’s much easier than admitting to yourself that a child sitting ten hours in front of the TV is bad parenting.

[Koneko911]

So at least I'm not the only person who's tired of every child being "diagnosed" with ADHD, or something else just to cover that parents don't parent anymore. Phones do

[DryGermanGuy]

Heeeell no, you are not. These fake diagnoses were really hip a couple of years ago. It since has calmed down a bit. I believe it had to with parents pressuring themselves and their children to succeed in the 9-year highschool branch, when they rather belong in the 5 or 6 year schools.

[Koneko911]

It's weird the trends parents are doing to their kids. Like you said it used to be "mental delays" and now it's gotten to the LGBTQ trend (I'm pansexual by the way) but parents are now forcing their kids to be trans or something else so they as parents feel special. It's annoying

[Bklynbadboy12]

You have every right to be annoyed but have you talk to you boss about it cause that's unfair to the other students

[Koneko911]

Yes I have. He won't do anything because the kids are related to him. And he knows the parents delayed them

[Bklynbadboy12]

Damn so where do you go from here

[Jamie05rhs]

Oh my gosh.
No; I don't think you're wrong to be annoyed.

[QuietVerbena]

That sounds really annoying

[hyperben]

totally acceptable that you are annoyed by this...

[Staximus]

Talk to the boss about it

[Fuentes]

Bad parents