Why am I getting so annoyed by this girl?

[Puppystarfish23]

I have this frenemy at work. She's a nice enough girl and at first I felt sorry for but lately she's been really annoying me.

She's super pretty and all the boys fancy her at work it gets on my nerves because she always gets the easiest stuff to do at work because all the men in charge fancy her and then she comes complaining to me but it too hard and she hates working here whilst I've been given the shit work and don't get any special treatment based on how I look.

She also loves the attention and loves to flirt and lead on men at work even though she's only just broken up with her boyfriend last week because she found out he cheated on her 4 times which I do genuinely feel sorry about for her that must be horrible for her.

She even opened up to me about her boyfriend cheating and the fact there's always some kind of rumour going on about her and that a lot of girls don't like her and creepy men are always trying to hit on her. She asked if I could relate to her situation and I was thinking "you really think I have pretty girl issues?" But I was empathetic towards her and I could relate a little but she doesn't help herself by flirting with every guy left right and centre.

The next day after we had that talk I saw her on the bus and smiled and said hi and she completely blanked me which I thought was really rude of her and that's when I started to go off her.

I have a boyfriend so I'm not jelouse of the fact all the boys fancy her because I have a lot more of a better relationship with my boyfriend then she clearly did with her boyfriend and I don't care for other men's seal of approval.

She's also a bit of a pick me too which o find super annoying. I was even considering compering pictures of me and her on here but it felt wrong so I decided not too. It's not because I'm insecure I just want to know why she gets treated better then me and does a lot less work because to me its all pointing towards the fact she's pretty and leads men on at work.

Updates

1 y

I'm not that bad looking myself really and I'm nice and friendly to people at work just like she is but I get treated like shit compared to her. All the guys are constantly talking about how hot she is and it gets on my nerves

Updates

1 y

Before you all hate on me, I've had some self reflection on the situation after hearing some of your guys opinions and I've realised it's not this poor girls fault and I'm not annoyed at her. Yes she's kinda toxic and I probably should just ignore her but I'm mainly annoyed at the men at my work for being blinded by lust and objectifying women. I have to remember women should stick together not hate on each other for something a man has done to divide us all

[Truthatanycost]

You should learn to be honest with yourself. You are jealous of her, feel insecure due to her and envy here. There is no point lying about it. But she is clearly toxic and you should stay far away. You should also stop worrying about the perks she gets. Life balances everything out naturally.

[Puppystarfish23]

That's what I'm trying to think like she also has people hating on her , making up stuff about her and her boyfriend cheated on her 4 times and I don't have that in my life

[Puppystarfish23]

It's not just her who gets pretty privilege either if anything I'm more annoyed at the mangers for it. I actually think now looking back but I could have had that opportunity once too.

One of the mangers whose known for giving out pretty privilege came up to me once whilst I was working and tried to hug me and whispered "how my little angel was doing" in my ear and has asked me some inappropriate questions before but I always get scared and embarrassed and push him off me

[HollyK21]

It sounds like you’re struggling with a lot of internal conflict and blaming her for it, and that’s just not ok. She can’t help her looks, or the fact that men flock to her. She isn’t asking for easier workload and she also has no idea that you are so annoyed by her, But how could she know? You are fake to her face, pretending to care and acting like a friend when you feel this way behind the scenes.

[Puppystarfish23]

Firstly I have always suck up for her in the past saying to people the exact same thing as you "it's not her fault she's pretty" but she also blatantly flirts with men at work even when she had a boyfriend and then plays innocent.

Also she does ask for easier work too. She's be like "sammmm you know I'd love you forever if you let me leave work early" and all that shit.

Plus I have made a effort with this girl, I was never being fake with her it's only until the blanking me started that I went off her and started to open my eyes.

It's not just her that annoys me at work I blame the mangers mainly for being blinded by lust instead of doing what's right in there jobs. It's not just her either there's also a lot of nepotism at work you get promoted based on who your daddy is.

Plus she not the only girl who gets pretty privilege. We have a polish girl who is literally the laziest person I think I've meant. She literally does nothing and is meant to be helping people in her job but stands there on her phone face timing her family whilst people are struggling right in front of her but the mangers turn a blind eye even though phones are banded because she hugs them and tells them how amazing they are.

[HollyK21]

So before I say anything else, like me preface it by saying that this is not me discounting your workplace experience. I’ve been in the position of being treated differently and unfairly due to favoritism or not having the same relationship with my bosses that other people make the effort to have. So I understand the feeling, but only to an extent because at some point you’ve got to take some accountability. This is just a job, and one that even if you absolutely love it you are not permanently held at. For lack of a better word, there is so much finger pointing and complaining in your commentary over things that I’m not quite sure if you’ve taken the steps to fix. For instance, do you work for a company with “higher ups”, like HR, multiple locations, other bosses, etc? Because if so, you can file a complaint if you haven’t already, and advocate for yourself. If I were you, I’d be calling out the bosses or documenting those moments of favoritism and pardoning when rules get broken. Then with this girl, as much as you are annoyed with her, you’ve got to step out of this mean-girl annoyance you’ve got going on and be mature, because she isn’t doing anything wrong. If your bosses were fair, then she wouldn’t be able to say something kind and get her way, but she’s figured out that it works in her favor to befriend the managers and you have chosen not to do that. Which is fine, but again, can’t knock her for that.

[Puppystarfish23]

Your right. People have complained about favouritism for years at the company but nothing is done. People call it out to the mangers faces and they don't say anything back.

It's a massive company I work for probably one of the biggest employers in the UK but they make there staff feel so powerless probably the reason we all turn on each other at times. We have surveys and questionnaires regularly and questions about favouritism and fair treatment have came up but mangers are always looking over are backs as we do it and the ones who have the balls to speak out get ostracised

[Puppystarfish23]

We even have a massive, extremely powerful Union but they wouldn't want to get involved because they are just as bad

[HollyK21]

Mentioning that you work for a union makes a lot more sense. My close friend worked for a massive union out here in the states and was there for almost a year before being fired unjustly, without reason, and really wasn’t able to do anything about it. Even trying to contact someone higher in power was a dead end, so I understand why people feel it’s so pointless to report an issue. But this brings me to say that maybe you need a more professional work environment, with receptive HR, equal treatment and no having to use what you’ve got to get what you want. These annoying girls you speak of aren’t the issue here. They have just chosen a different route than you have, and it’s produced beneficial results. If you did what they did, getting extra friendly with the bosses to get away with favors, then you’d probably have no complaints and still get along with them. But that’s not how you operate, which is fine, I’m just saying you shouldn’t let “their way” bother you so much.

[HateyouxD]

This has I'm a jealous bitch written all over it.

Tf is the point of this post?

[Puppystarfish23]

Well wouldn't you be too?

[Puppystarfish23]

If someone was getting treated better at work then you simply based off the way they look and not doing anything and then they come complaining about how hard there job is to you who doesn't get any special treatment what so ever. Wouldn't that just piss you off a little

[HateyouxD]

I dont get jealous.. I always get better.
Thanks for the update because it's a YOU problem

[Puppystarfish23]

I'm sure with a personality like yourself it's hard to notice others so i understand why you wouldn't get jealous

[HateyouxD]

I'm the most empathic person in the world. I also portray tough love because I care and you shouldn't be jealous. I can't stand people who get jealous because they are portraying hate on someone else based off what they lack. I also hate it because tons of girls get jealous of me when all I really want are nice decent friends. But somehow I'm punished for it. Get better. Do better.

[Puppystarfish23]

You speak so highly of yourself can't imagine why you can't find friends

[HateyouxD]

You being sarcastic?
Lol any way good luck to ya

[FilmGuy93]

It sounds like the reason you're getting annoyed is because you see the treatment she's getting as way better than what you're getting.

[Puppystarfish23]

Exactly thank you

[Puppystarfish23]

I'm not a bad person I have the right to be angry about it

[FilmGuy93]

Yeah, I mean... what you do about that anger is more important than the fact you feel angry.

[Guy13]

It sounds like she is having a toxic effect on you. It is probably changing your mood at work. People going What wrong with you today" Sometimes this happens...

[Puppystarfish23]

Yes it makes me angry and frustrated because she can stand around flirting with boys and messing about whilst doing the easiest work and gets told how amazing she is by all the mangers whilst I'm working my arse off and one tiny thing and I'm in the office about it

[Puppystarfish23]

And then she has the cheek to tell me her job is hard and she doesn't like it here

[Guy13]

Maybe she will leave !! You can train the replacement.

[Monalisa77]

Some people are just rude. I realized this woman didn't hate me, she was just bitchy to certain people

[exitseven]

She is definitely annoying. She is a real prize.

[krin_m]

Just ignore her and not let her consume your thoughts and time.

[Puppystarfish23]

The thing is she's the one trying to make friends with me. She's always approaching me not the other way around. I think because I'm a little older than her and I'm the only other English girl in are department she comes to me as someone to guide her but then she acts off with me at times

[krin_m]

I can see how that will be annoying. May be just try to be formal and keep your distance.

[Puppystarfish23]

That's what I'm trying to think like she also has people hating on her , making up stuff about her and her boyfriend cheated on her 4 times and I don't have that in my life