What would you do if you saw your friend’s spouse on a dating app like Tinder?

[Finchie40]

Would you tell your friend or would you just let it go?

[DaveJord]

I know the best advice would be to stay out it, do nothing and say nothing. I honestly have no idea what their is like. Worst thing you could as a friend is interject yourself into their relationship.

With that said, it depends on how good of a friend they were. There definitely one or two people that I would screen shot the profile and share with them IN PERSON. I would text it them. But everyone else I would ignore it, and sat nothing to them about it.

What I would do I'd message the wife in app, and say hi to her. Let know I saw it, screen shot it and take I know who she is.

[coachTanthony]

I would screen shot it and send it to them and say "OMG this looks so much like (blank) LOL

[Finchie40]

I thought of that lol

[Aerissa_Jade]

That would mean I am single and looking for someone, so if my man's homie didn't know who I was, I'd show interest... if we met up in person. I'd text my friend to come meet me at this place. Like OMG guess what? You'll never believe who I met for a date... come check it out, cause you literally won't believe me if I just told you.

Like oh, well you know he was on this dating app, so thought you should know.

If he knew who I was, I'd tell him, simply because I've been cheated on and would want to be told.

If he don't believe me, not my problem.

[BlueScorpio]

I would just show them the page and let them take it from there. If it was me, u would want to know instead of my friend keeping that away from me. Also what's worse is your friend tells you and you slip it out you knew or they find out you knew, they will also blame you for not having their back as a friend. I've seen it happen before.

[Guy13]

Stay out but keep a distant eye 👁 on things. Hang out with him more and prove without him realizing it etc.

I woukd not tell him until he opens up that area of his life conversation.

[Finchie40]

That’s the thing if that was happening to me I would so want to know the truth from a friend but when it comes
To telling a friend I am always stuck on what’s the right thing to do? Cuz I know I would so want to know the truth if it was happening to me , and not be blind sided , This sort of thing is so fucked up In many ways. Honestly I feel the best thing to do is to send them the proof with out exposing yourself , meaning make up a email and explain to them that you don’t want to get involved but this is what I came across on a dating site so that way you are letting them know the truth without being involved , then after everything unfolds then you can eventually confess that it was you that sent them that email , at least you know you did the right thing is how I look at it , but the crazy thing is not many people would get involved and stay out of it completely which would make you questioning your friendship with those friends, A true friend is going to tell you the truth an acquaintance will not. Why I always say never pick your friends over your partner , Most people don’t grasp that concept , especially girls

[Guy13]

This will blow up. It’s not likely you notifying him will change her t him. Either you can be a part of it or not. Involved means accused somehow as “causing the problem.”.

Not involved means friends picking up pieces from the eventual fall out. Not fun situation to have landed in…

[jennifer_bloom]

A screenshot and an email or text is what I would do. But they might have a twin sister or brother or a lookalike cousin.

[AviatorTom]

I would not tell my friend, but I might send a text to her on the app and ask, "Does hubbie know about this?"

[SwellStroke]

There is the possibility that it is known by the friend/SO. being all consensual? Then that would open it up to talk to them or just contact over the app?

So many different avenues that can be used in this one I would think.

Good question by the way. Often wondered that, but where I live not many people use it. And those that do you know who they because of how many people are in the area.

[Red-Blaze]

Will first talk to thee sponce about it
Give them a chance to explain qnd think about it, then tell my friend
It may be ok with her, or it may be something else, I prefer not to jump on the "there evil" right off the bat
But she should know if they did not tell her and she care for it

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Screenshot her profile, swipe right and probably pace through my house for a solid 10 minutes.

Sometimes couples set those up for fun so I'd just be a little torn on the correct course of action. I guess it depends but it would probably be some flavor of probing the friend to see if they know, doing it again in front of the partner who put up the tinder and go from there based on the reactions.

[Angieeebabieee]

Call them, let them know gently send a Screenshot if requested. I'd want my friend to do the same. I wouldn't be so worried about "getting involved" if I'm watching my friend be blissfully in love and loyal to their partner who is not giving a fuck on a dating site.

[RavVid]

Wow that is a problem. It is really nasty to be dragged into infidelity. No matter what you do or don't do once you become aware of it you are involved in very personal nasty betrayal. If you take the attitude that it is not your business you are helping the cover up. If you disclose than you are getting intimately involved in the relationship.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Screenshot and send it. This is my friend we're talking about. My brother from another mother or my sister from another mister. This isn't causing drama if there is already drama. This will confirm what they suspected or inform them of what's going on.
If they are open/poly, I'll apologize and back away from it.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

I don't like playing games.

I don't like people playing games with those dear to me.

If I can confirm that my friend's spouse is "browsing" on dating apps, I won't let it slide.

I will show the evidence (the account itself and some screen shots) to my friend.

[lilly15345]

same here honestly

[Finchie40]

I agree , it’s messed up and if it was happening to me i would so want to know as well, people that can blind side their partners are the biggest pieces of shit , if they are that unhappy in their relationship then end the shit don’t waste their time and string them along for your selfishness , and to weigh your options so I would tell my friend that it was happening to them so they could confront their partner ,

[Anonymous]

Most likely they will deny it and maybe stop talking to you. So I wouldn’t interfere much. Or if I do I won’t go with a file and screenshots that’s creepy but maybe keep it short with a sentence or so ,, I was scrolling thought this dating app and I noticed your husband profile pic. If they deny it or accept it you leave it at that don’t prolong the conversation

[FilmGuy93]

I feel like the screenshot is an essential piece of evidence in that situation

[CrazyGirl2]

ABSOLUTELY 100% Show her! Nobody deserves to be treated with that level of disrespect, and as devastating as it would be for her to learn that the man she loves and trusted has betrayed her… It’s better she learns now than if she finds out later that you knew and said NOTHING!

[nawtee_me]

You are absolutely right except what if? Someone had stolen the pic from Facebook or twitter and used it to make a fake account and that person was innocent? Now a big fight starts between them for no reason... You do know people do steal pics off of the internet...
I would have to set up an appointment and hide to see who comes first.

[CrazyGirl2]

@nawtee_me Yeah, I’m not that much into cloak and dagger stuff. I believe in Occam‘s razor, that the most likely explanation is probably the truth. In other words, if you hear hooves think “horses“ not zebras. If your friends husband has an account on tinder, think “he’s having an affair“ not, he’s being set up by a complicated scheme to, frame him. But hey… If somebody has “stolen his picture” it’ll be very easy for him to prove that he hasn’t been out on any dates with strange women… Especially if he was home every night with his wife!

[Anonymous]

Depending on the friend and depending on the spouse I might set up a date...

Not everyone is monogamous, and there are friends who I'd be open to being a playmate with... And too, if they're on there without their partners knowledge, it's liable to scare them off of it.

[JamesDiaz11]

I've been caught on dating apps before while dating people, and it's so damn annoying. I would keep my mouth shut- if they're not getting what they need in the relationship it's not my business.

[Chazmatazz269]

I have seen that. I did tell him. What’s a man in the US gonna do? He can live with a cheating wife or divorce her and let her destroy his life. That’s like a choice between a shit sandwich and cyanide.

[Drumlin2001]

Given I'm in a committed relationship, if I were scrolling through dating site would be hypocritical to judge a friends partner. I'd probably match with them, try talking to them. not to pursue anything, just to offer a sounding board

[mstbooblover]

I wouldn't do anything if I saw my friend's spouse on a dating site. None of my business. It would be in any case up to them if they wanted to discuss the matter with me, because maybe they agreed with each other.

[Anonymous]

Say nothing. Maybe try to hint or say anon. Though my experience on dating apps is that most profiles are ghost profiles from years ago of people no longer paying for their services but didn't bother to deactivate the account. I got into some trouble a while back over my plenty of fish account still being active though I haven't been on it since 2017. But try explaining that to a 6 month pregnant woman who thinks you are trolling the Internet for strange ass.

[Kori1236]

I’d be showing them. Just to give them a heads up, I would have evidence to back it up too. And if that friend confronts them good if they deny then I did all I could.

[A_Bell]

That's an A + B situation and I would C my way out.

Perhaps they have an open marriage. Perhaps he's cheating. It's not my place to fix it.