Why do you think some people get "lucky" with relationships early on in their life and some never get lucky or "get lucky" LATE in their life? ! ?

[Anonymous]

[Qdbrown]

If a partnered relationship is your end-all be-all purpose in life, finding a partner early would be ideal.

Some people have other things they want to accomplish before settling down. When you're young and single, you can do more being on you're own.

Some people go from their parent's home, into their own, and have to grow together which can be good or bad, as some people never develop in these early relationships. That would be unlucky for them.

A more developed person may be able to come in fully developed and know what they want.

But again, some people spend a lifetime never finding anybody.

It really does down to know thy self.

[Twalli]

The problem with going from your parents home to a home with a partner is that you don't know how to live alone. A former fellow volunteer I knew encountered this problem in 2108 or 2019. Her husband died, he was old, so it was age related. She had gone straight from living with her parents to living with him. When he died, she didn't know what to do. She had no independent living skills.

[JDavid25]

I don't think it's luck... You just have two people who really loved each other and chose to stick it out for the better.. Not many people (especially today) know who to do that.

[Asker]

Or they got pregnant and are trying to make it work for their kids haha.

[JDavid25]

LOL yeah that too.. Many people look down at that also.. But it's actually a very selfless act.. Thanks for MHO! 😁

[Price511]

Well it’s simply just chemistry, really. Romance is a very fickle thing, where some people get it right first try and others simply cease to get it right. That, and also if what is your “type” isn’t available in your area, then it makes it much harder to actually form relationships in the first place, let alone romance. Lucky people simply are able to find the kind of people that’s mutually interested in each other more readily, and/or have more attributes and behaviors that allow them to retain relationships more easily.


There are a few things I can recommend for relationships though:
- Be in a friendship with the person you like first. This can increase your chances by helping you get to know them at their core, learning about their values, hobbies, interests, and life, and seeing how that might align with yours or if you simply thought they were pretty but were a horrible fit. This helps you figure out red flags without all the commitment, so this is very important to get right.
- Learn about them and remember things. This may seem very simple, but remembering even insignificant details (and somehow falling in love with their little quirks and behaviors in the process) can really help, as it shows that you care, you pay attention, and are enamored with them. (I should also mention that you point out this info when asked, so they know that you’re paying attention.) To understand them and to accept them fully is a rare thing, and emphasizing that will only make them cling to you much harder.
- Ask to have them let you know if they feel like there’s something wrong with the relationship, and vice versa. Communication is the foundation of a relationship, and simply having the ability to know what to work on can help you iron things out very quickly before they fester into much larger issues. Want more or less of something? Talk about it. Agree or disagree. Compromise and understand. Talk calmly and with some pragmatism, leave anger at the door. Do that, and it’ll seriously help that relationship thrive.

[Anonymous]

When you’re young everything is a popularity contest and you tend not to be popular if you’re not a rebel. Or if you aren’t, maybe you’re a great athlete, chances are you’ll get pulled into a rebellious crowd anyway, drugs, parties, etc. And then you’re seen as “cool.” Really it’s all about popularity, whether you’re the class clown, a good athlete, stuff like that.

Then if you’re off to a good college, it’s more of the same, there’s a semblance of social status that comes with all of it.

I took my own path, never did any of that, and honestly it’s been tough. I felt alone, misunderstood, and wronged by my peers for a long time. I never felt right going to parties at a younger age, being around stuff I shouldn’t have been, and if that made me “uncool” then so be it. They never knew me anyway.

Now, you’ll see that I’m just some ordinary 30 year old guy that doesn’t have to worry about doing things I shouldn’t, nor do I take myself nearly as seriously, and I’ve lived a much different life than everyone else. I have my own stories to tell, and if it still isn’t cool enough for someone else, again, so be it… not my problem, never was. People are ridiculous. They don’t think or consider anything beyond what’s right out in the open, in front of them.

[watercolor_lions]

I don't know if it's so much luck, so much as having the foundation to find/have/sustain a healthy relationship.

My husband and I both had to struggle through relationships to find each other... They were bad, but they helped us grow. By the time we met, we were READY for one another.

We'd both been in codependencies and wanted out. That's a big deal: wanting a healthy relationship and rejecting unhealthy ones. Seeking healthy people will enable you to have a sustainable relationship.

[LazerBean]

I dont think it's luck, I think it's just just making the right choices. All on my friends who made good choices found partners, and all the ones who are not making good choices are still looking. It's almost like clockwork.

[Asker]

1. It takes two.
2. What do you mean by "good choices"? In high school, there's some competition to get the popular football guy (Mr. Suave) or the popular cheerleader slash Prom Queen! If you're/you were a nerd or unpopular, good luck with that!
3. I do somewhat get what you mean about good choices though. Maybe you mean not entertaining people with red flags like my dad said but then if that was indeed what people are doing why are there so many single mothers out there who's partners/husbands/boyfriends/fiances are in JAIL or Missing in Action! Society is weird lol.

[LazerBean]

My reply to all three of those is the same. Choose good men, and make choices that make you the type of woman a good man would choose back.

[Asker]

Thanks that sounds helpful.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Why? Because that what luck is. It's random. Like the lottery. You might win the first time, you might win years later or never at all. That is luck.

But just like the lottery and buying more tickets you can increase your chances in relationships. If you work on yourself as a person, look after yourself on both a physical and mental level and know what you want in a relationship, know how to talk to one another, you can increase your chances. I think that sweet people who aren't afraid to be themselves and say their mind are in demand ;)

[User3191989]

My dad didn't meet his first girlfriend, until college, and didn't mean my mom until he was much later in life. They've been married 35+. However, there are supposedly some high school sweethearts that are "trying to make it work"

[Twalli]

People don't know what they want until a certain age. If you know what you want, you are more likely to find what you want earlier than if it takes more time to discover what you really want.

[misogynistic_pig]

The lucky ones late in life are the beta male providers that post-wall women look to for support.

[Asker]

Lol in your dreams.

[TaureanBull81]

Unfortunately I am still yet to meet the right woman for me however am not giving up on hope. Previous relationship partners come into your life for a reason where they come and go.

It's just the way the world 🌎 works.

[slatyb]

The lucky people grew up with parents who had a healthy relationship, so they didn't settle for less.

[Sasha0426]

I’m 30 and I’ve not once had a relationship or been on a date. I honestly believe I’m one of the ones who aren’t meant to have someone.

[AdithyaR]

Cause it's all about luck. Some are lucky and some aren't.

[jayhams]

Some people are more aware than others. Luck doesn't exist.

[melanieeeB]

I think it's just coincidence

[Smoothing]

No reason, things just happen.

[Anonymous]

It's not luck, life is what you make of it.