Are relationships based on luck?

[Anonymous]

[DaveJord]

At first glance I thought what a stupid question of course not... but then I thought a maybe you got a point. I mean timing is everything. You can bump into someone on the wrong day and everything goes wrong. Or you can bump into them on the right day, and everything goes right. Same person just different days.

I got into a relationship with someone once and totally just met by accident out of nowhere... I don't think it was fate, because we are no longer together, but there was definitely some luck involved.

My last relationship was a disaster. I knew she had potential to be a mental case, but honestly the relationship was amazing for about three months. I felt lucky, like I knew on some level that I really liked this woman, but she was going to turn bat shit crazy at any moment. But for three months it was the time of my life, but then yeah the bat shit crazy came out and it freaked me the hell out.

So yeah, I was lucky to have had that time with her at that place in our lives together, and I was lucky it ended in the way it ended at the time it ended. I mean if she did not go full on bat shit crazy out of nowhere on day... she could of strung it out for weeks or months with all the little annoying shit that crazy people do.

Yes, lots of luck involved... when starting out a one bad or unlucky day can ruin a relationship.

[ohsheeT]

No luck at all it's called respect and hard work in some ways

Just about ever relationship I've been in it took about 4 close to 5 years before there was even an argument was that lucky or was that because I cared and wouldn't do anything stupid to jeopardize or question the relationship when we were born we were all given a gift and that gift was choice in a relationship each and every single day you have to make choices and each choice you make will either question the relationship or make the relationship


Side note.
You know why there are bad people in the world because it's easy to be bad you don't have to care you don't have to respect you don't have to do anything you just take take and it's easy

You know why there's good people in the world because they are self-conscious of doing the right thing at all times they try to be the best they can be they work at it if they get lazy and start slipping they start going downhill but for most it's step in front of step in front of Step to become the best you can be that same thing goes for when you're in a relationship you have to keep going forward you have to keep making it work if you become selfish in any manner it will fall apart the first time you lie the first time one of you tells a lie in the relationship you lose trust you lose respect now you look at that person and the whole different person it's hard work but it is well worth it it's called communication you always have to communicate if you're not communicating together then one of you are not growing and when one of you are not growing that means they're going to be left behind and the other person just keeps going forward and then there will be a breakup

[Beatrix7]

fk not for me unless he's kind caring loving nice looking great personality enjoy days out netflix nights sometimes lyingvin bed hugging and enjoying it because men see how much i get attracted to them nd gain there trust nd know how much i love them thats when the bad part happens i get used or cheated on or money stol from me or blamed for everything i have had bad experiencies of relashionships with 4 men will thre ever be one who right for me to love me like a princess i deserve that for my bad luck with men iam a kind hearted women to men and a get shat on everytime because they could see that i loved them rught now am happy with freedom one day hopefully i find my true love

[MrOracle]

No. Meeting someone initially can be luck, but a relationship requires making choices, and choices are not luck. Ideally, choices are made with logic and data and with long-term goals in mind, but in modern times, that's rarely the case. Most people today make relationship decisions based solely on initial attraction/infatuation, and think nothing about long-term outcomes at the time they choose to establish the relationship.

As such, when it fails, it wasn't bad luck, it was pias-poor evaluation and decision making.

Prior to 60s Feminism (aka Third Wave Feminism or Radical Feminism), people were taught to use the dating process primarily to vet the other person and evaluate them as a potential spouse. Unsurprisingly, marriages based on this tended to last a lifetime, and divorce was rare and low-key scandalous.

It was Feminism that taught women to have fun and be promiscuous and focus on their careers instead of a family. How has that worked out for everyone?

[OlderAndWiser]

"Relationships are based on luck" is the rationalization used by people who have not been successful in dating and who do not want to accept the fact that their behavior is a significant contributing factor in their failure.

[DenizLikesTennis]

Well.. I think otherwise. However, you are somewhat right. Our behaviour is like a reflection in the mirror. But that shouldn't hold us back in meeting a potential partner as long as we are not mentally disabled, thus behave in a way that make us appear extraordinary. Because we are all adults and are aware of so many things. Our awareness is what makes us "us" and so does in dating.

You dress, you talk, you smild, you look into each others eyes and see the outcome. There is nothing much anyways. Otherwise I'd play the lottery and win a potential partner.

[OlderAndWiser]

@DenizLikesTennis This is a dichotomy that is quite important. Some people believe that life is something that happens to you and we have no control over what happens in our lives. This attitude relieves an individual of responsibility for their circumstances and excuses them from engaging in any critical self-examination. I do agree that there are a FEW things which are beyond our control. If you have juvenile diabetes, that isn't "luck" but it is genetics and beyond our control. . . but how you respond to your illness is obviously your choice. If an unknown arsonist burns down your house and it is not retaliation for something you have done to someone else, that is something beyond your control. These are just a few examples, but very few things in our life are totally beyond our control.

Other people believe that life is what you make it. They look at what is happening in their life and adjust their behavior to try to achieve more desirable circumstances. These people are generally happier with their lives.

[DenizLikesTennis]

Now I fully agree with you :). Thanks for further explanation.

The attitude you bring to the table is something that are in your control. And a positive attitude, a positive outlook in life, kindness, optimism is magnificient. All what it takes is the ability to take care of your physical and mental health. Reading books, listening to Jordan Peterson and joining a wellness/spa club as well as a gym, has actually helped me. That's also in one's control.

But when people act in a way that's so peculiar, vindictive, extraordinary, upsetting then it just is what it is... unfortunately.

Now the most challenging yet complicated part of this all is... > Self-Awareness. Self Awareness is one of the most fundamental and important traits. Without it, you kinda lose the dating game. Or you'll hear so much feedback but cannot comprehend or realise 🤷🏾‍♂️

[Pinay_ako]

It’s based on mutual trust, respect and love not luck 😑

[DenizLikesTennis]

I like this and this is very accurate as I don't believe that we'd behave in a way that makes us look incredibly disabled. You chat, you look into your eyes.

[Avicenna]

Meeting someone can be pure luck. Making a relationship work is normally not a matter or luck, rather hard work and good communication.

[Anonymous]

The success or failure of a relationship is not solely based on luck. While there are factors beyond our control, such as meeting the right person at the right time, the foundation of a healthy and fulfilling relationship is typically built on more substantial elements:

1. Compatibility: Compatibility between partners in terms of values, goals, interests, and lifestyles plays a crucial role in the success of a relationship. Finding someone with whom you share common ground and can build a solid connection is a significant factor.

2. Communication: Effective communication is essential for understanding each other, resolving conflicts, and nurturing a strong bond. It requires active listening, empathy, and the willingness to express thoughts and feelings openly.

3. Effort and Commitment: Successful relationships require ongoing effort and commitment from both partners. This includes investing time, energy, and emotional support into the relationship, as well as being willing to work through challenges and grow together.

4. Trust and Respect: Trust and respect form the foundation of a healthy relationship. Building trust takes time and consistency, while respect involves valuing each other's boundaries, opinions, and individuality.

While there may be an element of chance in finding a compatible partner, it is important to recognize that maintaining a strong and fulfilling relationship requires conscious effort, effective communication, and a commitment to growth and understanding. By actively working on these aspects, individuals can increase their chances of creating and sustaining a successful relationship.

[razelove]

I can only think of one possibility for that one. When one partner is successfully cheating to start a relationship, and neither of their partners ever find out. While that is a lot of work, it is complete luck to never mess up or get caught.

Even then maintaining every relationship is work, meeting people the same. You could make an argument for meeting "the one" being luck, fate or whatever. I believe it is simply the probability of finding someone good enough at the right time.

Like you chose them, but if you wouldn't have met, anyone around that same level of satisfaction would have done alright. So the only lucky relationship would be adultery where the adulterer is never caught.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Partly... also with hard work. Two people need to meet each other halfway. Sometimes that means someone else will have to pick up the slack. Some tasks are better done by one party or the other depending on their skill set. For instance, I just went to the store to get some spinach for cooking our dinner, took me 5 minutes and I came home with spinach. My wife goes to the store to pick up a single item... she could be gone for 2 hours and then comes home with $200 of shit we didn't need. I'm also a better cook. I clean better, and clean as I go... my dishes don't have food stuck on them when I do them... my wife, can go make the money... and what's funny about that is she's a professional cook. (She cooks in bulk though [thousands of people], not meals just for 3)

Shit tests begets shit tests from me

[RoosterBreast]

She cooks in the military or what did you say she is still deployed after 20 years? Or maybe you both just got too much of the coveted big ball sublimation therapy.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dG5cZzbKvW0

[D_Bone_Steak]

@RoosterBreast is Deployed right now and is about to be on shore duty again. They switch from shore to sea duty pretty much every 3 years with extensions here and there. Most retire at 20 years, but now she's officially past retirement age. Hoping she stays in for 30, and I end up getting some sweet sweet tax free VA money, just so I'll never have to work again. I haven't worked for over a decade and I don't want to start again... ever. I want to play video games, lift weights, and coom.

[BoobSlayer]

As the reincarnated bastard child of bean2k21, I encourage you to coom in a homemade jar and project your orgasms into his cosmic realm. Make sure to ask his permission first, or the coom jar will fail to unlock the door to the 1.0. (Infinite Orgasm)

[RavVid]

Interesting Q. Jobs are a matter of luck to a large degree and can depend entirely on if an interviewer likes you. HR makes up the questions and correct answers that morning and there is no reasonable way you can deal with HR.

If jobs are based on luck, relationships will be. It can be random luck you meet Person X. It might be random luck they put on that push up bra etc.

It might even be that if you had met them a year ago you wouldn't have liked them but life has changed you since then.

A lot of things come down to luck & coincidence.

[Anonymous]

No absolutely not.
Relationships are like fishing.
You have experience fishermen and inexperienced fishermen.


The experienced fishermen will #1 know where the fish are #2 know what bait to use #3 know what fish to catch and #4 when to reel the fish in.


Most people people are the inexperienced fisherman so they don’t know where to find a good partner. When they do find a good partner they don’t know how to get them to fall for you. Even if they do both those things they don’t see the red flags to look out for and usually find out it’s a bad partner.
Lastly they don’t know when to make a move and frequently miss their chance at a love life.


Im a pretty experienced fisherman in this analogy and mostly just see rookies that don’t know they’re doing.

[lightbulb27]

It's a little bit of everything, but primarily... no.

Relationships are based upon social skills!

Luck is a factor... but yours odds are greatly improved when you are functioning your best.

Making a relationship last is not luck...

[Anonymous]

Finding the right person mostly boils down to luck.
You can search for years, but the person you really connect with will either come along or they won't. I think that's the definition of luck.

If you find that person, then it's no longer luck that keeps the relationship together. Now it's on both of you

[Opinion Owner]

Anyone who thinks otherwise, got lucky

[Jersey2]

You would think that technology would help people find each other but it just seems to be getting in the way. Technology could reduce the amount of luck needed but it has the opposite effect.

Dating sites should limit the number of “right swipes” to 1 per week. That would help.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Somewhat but not much.

We attract what we are deep down inside.

People don't like to hear that when they end up with a trash person but it's true for the most part.

You rarely see a trash person with a decent person, and a decent person with a trash person.

Two trash personality types of people are doomed to have failed relationships because these type of people are difficult to put up with their BS ways.

[Juxtapose]

Yes, absolutely. Is the woman or man you met someone who is honest or are they a really conniving sociopath who is putting on a mask for you up until the point where they betray you?

You can't know for sure, even somebody you have known for 20 years can end up betraying you. It is absolutely based on luck.

[Paulalove98]

I’d say some but also chance since not everyday you run into somebody special and amazing, so if you have that luck you gotta take some sort of chance or initiative.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Some relationships are based on love, some relationships are based on lust & some relationships are based on luck & being at the right place at the right time lucky you are.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t think so.

They are probably more based on commitment, trust, nurturing the relationship, balance, communication, love and respect.

[Screenwriter]

There's definitely luck in FINDING someone suited to you who will put up with you and you with them in all their glory and awfulness, for the long haul!

[Sunssong]

I disagree, luck is a word we made up to describe the unknown causes of known effects.

[Screenwriter]

@Sunssong I think luck, in this instance, means by happenstance. What are the chances that you can meet someone near your age, who you find attractive, is suited to you well enough that you'd stay with them, and that that decision ends up being successful for the long run.

[MementoMori777]

Maybe running into people is random but in general you choose who to spend with people so it's not like it's randomly chosen for you and you have no input in it

[YourExLover69]

Relationships are built on trust, mutual understanding, mutual feelings, loyalty, mutual respect and commitment.

If a person finds someone interesting, he/she feels lucky to have them in their lives.