When you find the right partner, do you think it's more "luck" or "fate"?

Question

Dattendeur · Accepted Answer

I believe it's... Neither
I think if you've put enough work into self development and grow to be a certain way that alligns with who you are at the core of your being , you will attract a certain type of person depending on how you walk, talk, speak and generally carry yourself.(it's hard work.)

I only recently came to that conclusion with my current relationship.

If I would claim it was luck or fate then It would devalue all the hard work we've put in and all the effort we put into making it work , all the adjustments we made , all the growth that took place.

I am together with someone from a different culture , different background , brought up with different values and societal standards. Which was one of the biggest challenges early on and almost drove us apart. At a certain point we were on the brink of ending it , we had a deep and open hearted conversation about mutual annoyances about each other's behaviour and what not. And decided to give it our best shot. This shift in mentality was the catalyst on which everything else was built on and eventually got us to where we are today almost 3 years later.

It was a very difficult process looking back at it and it took time, Courage , perseverance and commitment from both ends to make it work.

We both had to compromise bits and pieces from ourselves in order for there to be an US, not in a forceful way or anything , it has to be because you as a person want that change , not because you're expected to change. because you both are aiming for a common goal to achieve not because person x demands you to be like this.

On another note , I've come to realize another major important factor , in order to be able to have a solid and strong relationship , you will have to accept that person as a whole.(which sounds logical right , nothing new there! But you'd be amazed how many people actively try to change their partner, similar to all these couple's claiming trust is the most important thing in a relationship but then the first chance they get to snoop in their partners phone they'll blindly take it)
Not just the things that you like , you have to accept the "bad" stuff too as part of that person's personality. (Not talking about eternal toxicity, violence , abuse) for example, she's more sensitive than I would generally like a girl to be. And that was a big thing initially , but I've grown to be more understanding and accepting of her emotions and in the process have become more emotionally available as a result of that.

It's crazy to think that this could have all ended in the earlier stages , but we made the decision to buckle up and go for it and that made the change. The shift in dynamic , that was the catalyst , saying it was luck or fate would and I'll repeat it again. Devalue all the work we've done.

Citizenkirk · Accepted Answer

I uss fractals in large sums in my equations too gain a better understanding of the universe, and my one "ABSOLUTE" belief, as certain too me as god is tho religious folk, is that there are no completely random events in this Universe., or any self sustaining, 3 dimensional universe. Fate and luck are two sides if the same coin, and one lends credibility too the other. Given enough time, keeping an open mind and an open heart, you will draw your significant other too you through your actions and desires. Keep in mind that your perfect match may not be the person you think you want now, but the person who completes the person you should become, bringing out the best in you as you bring out the best in them.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

I think most successful relationships are pure luck.

Think about it, if it was fate, why is it harder for some people to find the right partner compared to others?
Fate implies when the right person enters your life, it happens for a reason. Yet that isn't the case for some people.

Love is good timing (both individuals being available, single, and willing to be together), finding someone that compatible with you, and cares for you. Most of those conditions will not always be met or occur with someone you like or pursue. But if it does, you're lucky.

I also believe the factor of luck varies for each individual.
Meaning finding "the one" is like playing the lottery, or a game that's RNG based: either you have really good luck and you find the right person quickly or easily.

... or you have really bad luck and it takes years to find said person.

MotherEarth2020 · Accepted Answer

Both, but my guy is a nut. He will do the most craziest, most daring, most wild nut job I have ever met.

He is the only guy I know that would go on stage wearing just a pair panties and tell jokes.

Go shopping at a mall wearing just a Bikini

Take a good working car and rip it apart and make it work without a computer

I also watch him drive so fast and turn the steering wheel so fast. Just to see how many times he can flip cars and make them roll.

He done a lot of dangerous shit. sometimes I think he has a dealt wish.

Kaneki05 · Answer

No such thing as Fate. Your responsible for your actions and all your actions will be a cause to an effect. Therefore you made yourself find your right partner and he made himself find you too with whatever your actions were even if you don't know it. So it's not really luck either since both your actions contributed to it happening and the chances of that happening due to both of your actions is quite high. For example if you went back in time and did the same thing same result that's not luck.
Luck is when you come back do the same thing but something else could happen. But to you or anyone else we would class this is lucky in the time because well it's a shock to us and we don't really think it through like that. Unless if your me lol.
To think there is such thing as Fate is to deny your responsibility in your actions same if you say lucky. You know flipping a coin and getting heads or tails ain't luck there is a reason why i can flip a coin and always get heads just flip it the same amount of times i always do start off on tails and if you do it right amount of flips you can always get heads it takes time to learn but that right there proves that even flipping a coin ain't random luck it's the way you flip it that chooses what it will be so it's you that does it. There maybe many variables to it that make it seem like luck but it's really not.

MCheetah · Answer

95% luck. There's billions of people on the planet. Some (the most basic, average, mediocre people, in my opinion) will find love easily, because of how common they are as people. Others (like me, TBH) will very very likely  never  find love, due to how odd, strange, unique, eccentric, or otherwise incompatible they are with most people. The only time it isn't luck is when you  choose  to be in the right place, at the right time, because most people don't find their true love through a dating site, to be honest.

Jjpayne · Answer

I'd say it's a mixture of both. Or rather luck and looking. But fate I think we make for ourselves. An example is being a couch potato and ordering every thing that is needed off of Amazon never needing to step out of the house vs. Actively being involved in your community. In that way I think you can fate yourself into not finding anyone. Now I suppose you could argue that if it's fate they could go and find them with a grubhub order for example but I still think that the fate we have we make for ourselves

Lliam · Answer

I'm not sure if I believe in fate.
I think finding the right partner depends on a couple of factors. Considering the number of people on the planet, luck is certainly a factor in meeting someone that you connect with on a deep level.
But it's not just a matter of waiting around for luck to find you. You have to search. You have to be ready to seize opportunity when it presents itself. You have to be in the right state of mind - be the kind of person you would want to be with.
And then there is the fact that nobody is perfect. If you think you're going to find a perfect person, you're going to be out of luck. If two people connect on a level that they can envision spending their lives together, they need to work at keeping their relationship healthy and strong.

Anonymous · Answer

When I was younger, I definitely would have said fate. We grow up watching fairytales and romantic comedies, which lead us to believe in fate and soul mates and happily ever afters. As I got older and had more life experiences, I know just how rare it is to find someone you just instantly click with. I've had people I've truly wanted to like, or people who I did like but felt like there were too many fundamental differences (in our morals, goals, etc.). I'm with a great guy now, who is the guy I just instantly clicked with. The relationship has felt so easy since the very beginning. It has never felt forced, like so many other relationships. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced, and I can't call it anything but lucky. <3

jshm2 · Answer

Neither.

Though yes there is an element of luck, and fate is not something we have control over. But it's more about work and effort, just like a career. You cannot guarantee that a kid will pass his exams, get into a university, and a career to pay off his student debt after. But it's what 99% of kids in school want to do, and why 95% of them fail to do so.

A relationship is like that too. 99% of people think they have to go through dating apps and sites like it's a "necessity". but they forget that the success of such is very low. At best they give hookups and short term relationships.

JackSmy · Answer

I haven't found the "Right Partner" just yet, though a few, came close.
I think everything is FREE WILL, and nothing is "Destined" or "FATE"
Our lives are what we make, and choose, and who we know, and not 'written' in a scroll, or woven into some 'Skein, of Life!'

Yads_Is_Back · Answer

It's a blessing and a lot of luck. I used to say fate to this, but honestly I could never deserve him, and so to me it's more of a humble blessing. Also, I don't want to use that we were meant to be as an excuse to stop doing my part or get lazy or careless and give him any less than he deserves. That's what makes it a lifetime blessing. :)

Sevenpointfive · Answer

i have very little belief in luck. luck is brought on by ones actions, while fate needs none

so yes acting will cause a good/bad luck outcome, fate was always the result of not acting at all.

which begs the famous question. do we make our own fate?

SunnySri · Answer

I think neither mam, we find our right partner because we are compatible with eachother, so I think instead of luck or fate it's compatibility.
And when they meet or find eachother they just click, you just know it's them, you don't need luck or fate, the feeling is enough.

t-8900 · Answer

both. I think life is a test. Some of us are meant to find someone and others of us are paying for our sin of pride which got the better of us in our youth and we disregarded what we were taught and the warnings from our mentors. Life is a test of faith.

TCredo · Answer

Good question - and I gave the lean to fate for me... could easily argue luck was involved but I do believe fate played a bigger role. I've often said I'd rather be lucky than good lol... and to this question, I'll say I'd rather have good fate on my side vs. unpredictable dumb luck :)

DiegoO · Answer

faith: complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

Without the faith of one day finding the right one, we can't speak of the hope of being in a desired relationships, and without that hope the trust required for a healthy relationship is not gonna be there.

allaboutyou2 · Answer

The biggest part of finding the right partner is being the right partner. If we give 100% of ourselves to the relationship and are partner does the same thing, then the relationship will grow. Relationships are not 50/50 but 100/100.
When 2 people have that same goal then finding the right partner comes naturally.

BCRanger10 · Answer

When you find the "right" partner, you've just found someone you're generally compatible with ("generally" being the key word) and you choose to love each other and grow with each other.

mindNsoul · Answer

I dont believe in fate. It is simply people trying to rationalize luck by giving it purpose. I'm also agnostic. So for me the question basically reads is it luck or luck!

SCRUMPSHUDILLIOCIOUS · Answer

Fate, rabbit's feet and clovers have nothing to do with being persistent or folding. Now if you have a chance meeting at roadside dinner and  both had a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal, maybe. 😂

MrsJaximus-Lion · Answer

i will go with jax on this one i dont feel luck nor fate that brought us together but the friendship and tha hard work we both put in our relationship

Avicenna · Answer

I think it's mostly luck. Which is fine- it's the end result that counts, and that's something we should remind people who are frustrated about being single.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Might be luck and might be fate or who knows what might it be, the important thing is that i found my real chosen one...
I'm still waiting for this day but it seems that my luck is zero these days and my fate ran away from me 😂

jcnum10 · Answer

I don't believe in luck. I believe people confuse luck with results from hard work. But I do believe in fate. So i choose fate

bulletbob555 · Answer

I don't always believe in fate. Things happen so I'm leaning towards luck but it's more than sheer luck. People can help make their own luck. The other thing about luck or opportunity is to be ready to act when situations arise

scooogy · Answer

I think that I met my crush was luck, due to getting to move into the apartment near the grocery store she works in, whilst I think it's fate that I got to learn about the stuff I could apply on helping her with her labour health issues which she highly appreciated.

najekim · Answer

Some of both in my case. Discovered each other in an AOL chatroom and after we got married a close friend of ours, who has a touch of paranormal abilities, told us that we will never be soulmates but we are meant for each other.

Andytherese · Answer

I don't believe in fate or luck, I think love is a choice

HOAAH · Answer

As a Christian i do believe in destiny or fated by God.

CriticalDiscourse · Answer

It's random circumstances that make stories awesome.

AndrewMG · Answer

Oh whilst I love to believe in Fate I think luck plays at least an equally aspect and maybe an even bigger part.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I think it can be either or and sometimes a mix of both in a way. Such as the case was with my parents.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Surprisingly neither. Seems like its just about to be another experience/lesson learned

Dargil · Answer

There is no fate but what we make. There IS such a thing as luck.

BoredNCrazed1324 · Answer

Both, you got lucky enough to have the right fate lol

keddesh · Answer

"luck" is when preparation meets opportunity. I could have met the girl who was "right" for me right now, but when I was in my 20's if I met that same woman it wouldn't have felt like she was the one for me.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I think it could be a little of both but too sure?

dreamstar72 · Answer

Fate is a lot like luck, since with out luck fate is hard to find.

PupinTheTurd · Answer

Nothing is random and everything happens for a reason.

Unit1 · Answer

Luck seems like the right answer. However why rely on luck when there is money 💵😀?

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Neither. We just happen to be at the same place at that moment and make a connection.

Youryeodongsaeng · Answer

I'd say a bit of both. Even though, I'm not familiar with the word, 'faith'. I have seen that word plenty of times, but I never fully understood it.

Myk13 · Answer

I would hate to think that it was fate standing across the courtroom from me all three times. When she got the gold mine and I got the shaft. I sure as hell wouldn’t call that being lucky either. So I guess I’m gunna have to let you know which it is when/if it ever happens.

Gedaria · Answer

No, being at the right place at the right time. Nothing planned...

monkeynutts · Answer

Pure dumb luck. With a twist, obviously I showed up to the party.

allenwants2 · Answer

Fate without a doubt and maybe even the fickled finger of fate

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

The dedication the two puts in the relationship. Hard work, communication, patience and equality makes a relationship strong. Luck won't last long. Fate! I make my own.

Bluemax · Answer

Combination of luck but also fortune favoring the brave and prepared

Valnac · Answer

Sometimes it’s a little of both. when you know it hits you like a thunderbolt. you just know you have Chemistry.

Silver158 · Answer

10 years ago I woulda said fate but having experienced A LOT of shitty people I'd now say it's definitely luck

Hawner · Answer

At this point, I would consider it a miracle. 😢

Samoht_Sirrom1 · Answer

Neither... Since it never happened for me.

triff · Answer

Fate and luck are one of the same really Just leading to love instead of generally Same a kismet

humanearth · Answer

I would like to think a little of both

JosyJosy · Answer

Luck, I don't believe much in fate

venomhbk1313 · Answer

For me it's usually dumb luck

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

Honestly, I think it’s a little of both.

OddBeMe · Answer

Luck, though neither exist. It’s just random shit.

Jerre · Answer

I think it is more luck.

Torari · Answer

Luck. There is no fate. The universe doesn't care whether or not you reproduce.

Anonymous · Answer

No one finds the right partner. Don’t count your leaves yet.

Fido1234 · Answer

Both plays an important role

Massageman · Answer

It's a pairing that God wants to occur.

When you find the right partner, do you think it's more "luck" or "fate"?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do you think finding the love of your life takes luck?

When you find the right partner, do you think it's more "luck" or "fate"?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do you think finding the love of your life takes luck?

We're glad to see you liked this post.