I'm a woman but was also used for money, is this rare?

[Anonymous]

My ex boyfriend is obviously out of my life. He was a different user though. He didn't just use me for sex but for money too. Even with sex, he was still scamming me, still playing games.

I never got my money back. This might sound stupid but yeah I got used for money by a man. Is this rare?

Updates

+1 y

I understand both types of pain. I also know what's it like for when some men get used by a golddigger.
The thing... getting used for money I actually find that more disgusting. It's like you're nothing but a commodity to them, just a means to an end, you're not even consider a human with feelings but just a thing.

[DaveJord]

Not as rare as it used to be, yes, we tend to think women do this more to men then men do to women. I guess on the whole this is probably true. Women using men is definitely not unheard of.

But since I started online dating, I met lots of women with similar stories. Guy got married to her, started getting hooked on pain meds... divorce she pays alimony to him.

Guy got married to her, then coned her, and her father into investing into his business she took the money, business failed, divorce and he ran with the money, and she still had to pay alimony.

But honestly this had been the challenge for men for decades, lots of women scam guys to... so with women liberation it's kind of turned int a tick for tack game, hers a dose of how it feels. It not right but it definitely happens, and you need to know that if you fell for it once you could easily fall for it again. So, learn for the experience and grow as a person and be wiser and smarter next time... but do not blame all men in general or swear off men, because honestly, it's only this one guy.

[Asker]

I'm actually a healthier relationship by now and by Dec 27th we're going to be one year together. I have hopes that I got it right this time. My family and friends like him. My mother used to hate my ex boyfriend (moms are right after all) but she adores my current boyfriend.

[DaveJord]

Congrats, I wish you the best! :)

[D_Bone_Steak]

I think it will become the new normal. Look out at the world... there's guys still simping and handing over the cash and working their ass off for women and then there are the rest. They're looking at what is working and what doesn't work around them.

It's like women's sports... the best players are men. Prove me wrong.

[Asker]

My update is what I feel about golddiggers. I actually felt more disgusted with him upon realizing that at some point he was staying longer with me for the money. I find that worse than being just used for sex. It makes me think that he just saw me as a commodity, as a thing, not even as a human with feelings anymore.

[D_Bone_Steak]

You could look at the bright side... women will use men for money, but at least these men will use you for sex and money. Imagine if they actually enjoyed talking to you or spending time with you. 😂

Jokes aside, it's a shitty time to be in the dating market. It's shitty for women and men. I tried going on a dating site and it was miserable... I'm not allowed to take pictures that show my muscles off... I don't even get to look at chicks under the age of 37 (like I know they're there, but they're shadow blocked)... and my options are either fat, ugly, have a grip of kids, and usually all of the above.

I hate to say this (and it's sort of sad I can say it), the only semi good looking ones are cheating (or obviously cheating) or they're openly selling sex for cash. I'm not a female but I have a feeling things might just be as shitty for you on your gender side of things.

[Asker]

Luck was on my side though. Within two weeks of dumping and blocking him forever (late Oct of 2021), I started going out on a date with an Arts and Aikido professor. He's now my current boyfriend and we've been dating for nearly a year. Dec 27th will be exactly a year.

[Asker]

Meanwhile I've still retained my youthful looks (I tend to age at a slow pace), my ex boyfriend has wrinkled and developed health issues such as prediabetes, high cholesterol, high triglycerides and very high blood pressure if not under control. Well he lied about his age long ago too. He lied about being 10-12 years younger and now he can't no longer use his youthful looks he cared so much about; he's a narcissist.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Aikido... sword stuff right? That actually sounds cool. Your ex sounds like a lot of my ex's... nothing but flesh with not much to offer in terms of personality. That shit wears out and a repulsive personality can become frustrating to come home to. Good on you for finding someone you can see more eye to eye to.

[Ladybugharp]

I'm happy for you - that's a great outcome :)

[Daniela1982]

I would have figured you would have wizened up after the first guy used you. But some people never learn. Nothing is rare anymore, especially if you let them use you - for sex or money. Some just can't say no because they crave a relationship so much that they will do anything to have a boyfriend. Women even let their kids be killed by some POS because he seems to mean more than their children do. How sad is that?

"No babe, I'm noy playing you." Thinks "Dumb bitch is so gullible. I'll tell her I need a new car because mine needs the oil chan

[Dinklex3]

No, lol.

People get used for their money, males & females.

Just take it as a lesson learned and be more skeptical when it comes to letting people borrow your money.

[Adam1978]

There is one difference, you have to allow it for men to do it. If you date a man that expects it you are dating a lazy bum. And your in the situation men find themselves very often to be expected to pay for stuff. Let these people filter themselves out. You don't need a person that is dependent on you unless it's your own kid.

[MrOracle]

It's somewhat rare, but it's exactly what pimps and certain "managers" do (think strippers and porn girls). Anyone can get used if they let their feelings completely override their logic and reason.

[FinalFantasyBro]

He doesn't sound any better than the women who uses men for their money and I definitely think you done the smartest thing by dumping him and I am sorry he put you in a situation like that. Hopefully you find a way to get your money back!

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

It's sad, but this happens to both men and women and scammers are out there for sure, they're out there, what upsets me is when elderly people get taken by scams.

[HighValue]

Usually the women that get used/scammed for money are 50 + not your age.

[Asker]

This is exactly what is different about my case and shocking. Usually the we get used when younger is just through sex but nope, he faked an entire relationship along with it. Nasty POS.

[Anonymous]

You were a double commodity - sex and money. I doubt it's as rare as you think because women will put up with a lot of shit if they believe that it will end with "true love". Feels real good, doesn't it?

[Asker]

yes he lied for years about wanting kids and marriage. He threw the ''I want kids and marriage'' line on me and made me think that money was for our future. Stupid me for falling for that PUA line, for that lovebomber.

[Opinion Owner]

It sucks, but now you're prepared and won't make that mistake again.

[Asker]

yeah not anymore. I ain't tripping over the same stone twice. Fool me once, shame on you but fool me twice, then that would be idiotic of me.

[Opinion Owner]

Right, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Trust in karma - he'll get what's coming to him.

[trina_x]

I've heard of it happening a couple times
i feel sorry for you

[Anonymous]

Not for women who date guys that they know are physically more attractive then them. They give, give, give knowing that they won't get another guy at that level. And the guy knows this to. So he knows he can exploit the he'll out of her.

[Anonymous]

It's certainly not rare to be used for money. Now you know how adequate men feel when women intend to use them for money or date them based on his successful financial situation. Gold diggers are one of the worst.

[bamesjond0069]

It's not rare. It's very common. Women who make money and especially if they date down financially will attract gold digger men. Wealthy men tend to date down where broke men try to date up.

[Blackmoonsns]

Well that's what toxic people do. Sounds like a narcissist.

[BJP21]

This can go both ways between the sexes. A friend of mine who is female is getting used for money.

[Anonymous]

More common nowadays. Especially with all the scammers out there.

[In_Trance]

wtaf

[Anonymous]

Yep! It is

[Asker]

It gets worse. One time he was telling me that I'm suppose to do some search about my father's living will because I'll never know when my parents will die or if they can have an accident. Why would a boyfriend say those things? Or be after my father's future living will if my parents are alive and health?
Several women my age underwent the typical ''he used me for sex'' but nothing else. My ex boyfriend was another type of user, an elaborated one and it took me by full surprise. Those rare male users that don't stop at just sex are rare and I'm the unlucky woman to have stumbled upon him.