What are some signs your ldr partner might be cheating?

[Anonymous]

If you have any personal stories, please share.

[unknowngirl0232]

Here is my experience. The guy I was with was very excited to talk to me during the beginning of relationship. Then it was all unanswered messages, ignoring my existence. Even though it hurt me so much my dumb ass stayed and trusted him. When I came online he would leave. Won't answer my msgs while being online and it was just this for a long time. Then I started hearing that he was in other relationships. One of his close friend was a good friend of mine too and that person was like girl even though he is my friend, I gotta warn u about him and u gotta leave him cuz you are my friend and I care about u too.. The next day I broke up with him and it was the best decision I made in my life.

So girl.. its normal for guys to be busy and miss your call and texts but if it continues too much and you feel like he is hiding something.. just run away from. If he acts distant, first talk to him about it. And if he makes no effort to spend time with you continues to ignore your existence. Just leave him be before you hurt yourself more. He can't spend 24 hrs with you all day, and you gotta understand that. But if you see zero efforts, its not worth it.

I was in LDR and now I'm currently in LDR too.. but now I'm in a very healthy one. I know the difference between a guy who is committed to you and a guy who is not. I had to go through the bad one first to realise who lucky I am right now. If you have anymore questions just DM me. I'd b happy to help u in someway

[trina_x]

if they only talk about other people publically but never you, you have grounds to be suspicious

like publically theyre pretending to be single

[D_Bone_Steak]

lolz, you don't need signs... you should just assume they're cheating. Personal stories... I was in the military, and it just always happens. Worse with chicks and we would actually place bets on how long it would take for her to start fucking other guys. I take that back it was about the same with dudes, but the only reason dudes didn't cheat right away is because they were ultra beta and couldn't get laid if they wanted to. Like they're too sheepish to even fuck a hooker or two and can't talk to women without the women thinking he's a child fucker or serial killer. ... and let's just be real about chicks and their options... they can't even move or speak without some dude in her face offering some dick to her. That guy that does nothing but hit the gym with his free time eventually will pull her after she has a phone spat with the 9 to 5 guy at home that actually likes having friends of his own.

[SteveSmith1985]

This should be asked the other way around. Tell us why YOU suspect YOUR ldr partner might be cheating. That's a much better plan than asking for people's experiences and hoping something will match... that's... a bad plan. So why do you think YOUR partner might be cheating? 🙂

[Asker]

Lame excuses lately. Last weekend apparently he "forgot" his phone at his friend. Tonight he said he was just gonna chill, but stopped responding pretty early. I called and it's going unanswered.

One more thing, I've caught him texting other women a few months ago, so he's not 100% a trustable dude.

[SteveSmith1985]

(2 part reply) Alright then. I mean, none of those things are suspicious on-their-face. But I don't know anything about his usual behavior or what might be suspicious for HIM.

Usually though, if you feel something isn't right in your gut, you're probably right.

If he's already been unfaithful, than that is going to make things more difficult insofar as, you would be (understandably) prone to be suspicious, or to be 'on the lookout' for signs of him cheating. Sometimes over-vigilance can make people 'feel' something is suspicious that isn't really. I am not saying that's what you're doing. Ihave no idea. I'm just saying it's an inherent risk when he's been unfaithful in the past. You aren't going to give that guy any benefit of the doubt (understandably).

[SteveSmith1985]

I don't think anybody from the outside is going to be able to give you much insight into whether he's cheating. That's because the signs you're reading are too nuanced for anyone but you to draw any conclusions. This is not a list of clearly suspicious behaviour over the course of some time. Therefore, nobody from outside (myself included) can possibly look at this and say "yea, he might be cheating". That doesn't mean that he's not cheating. It just means that this evidence is not enough for anyone ASIDE FROM YOU to properly interpret. (often someone's situation is clear to people on the outside, but this one is not).

So you are going to have to rely on your own instincts here. Given the context of your history and his past behavior. But if you are suspicious. AND he has given you reason to be (from a few months ago), then it's perfectly reasonable to confront him about it, and see what he has to say for himself. See if you believe him. There's really nothing else to be done. You're suspicious. So either you're right and he's a scumbag, or you're wrong... and you're doing an innocent guy a huge injustice by suspecting him. Either way, you can't just sit-on-this. You should confront him (or ask him... you don't have to be 'confrontational' about it. But you need to assure yourself he's still faithful.)

[Asker]

I'm aware those things aren't enough to be completely sure he's cheating, that's why I'm not sure if I should go with my gut (cause I don't believe him) or confront him again. Obviously he's not going to say yes I am cheating lol

[Asker]

What would be a good way to let him know that I don't believe him, but also confront him? Or I should just be straightforward?

[SteveSmith1985]

I would usually say you'd need to be straightforward. But... I think something else you said is actually more important.

"that's why I'm not sure if I should go with my gut (cause I don't believe him)"

This is a problem. You don't trust him (you may very well be right to not trust him, I don't know). But it doesn't even matter if you confront him, or bring it up in a straightforward, or a roundabout way. It doesn't matter if you don't (in your gut) believe him. It doesn't matter how you ask, and it doesn't matter what his answer is. It's not going to change anything. You feel in your gut that he's cheating on you. That isn't going to change regardless of how you aproach asking/confronting him.

You cannot be in a relationship with someone who you feel is cheating on you.

Whether he is, or he isn't. He seems to have broken his trust with you a few months ago (I"m guessing it was that) to the point of no-repair. At least not right now.

You are trying to convince yourself of someone you know (or 'feel') in your heart is cheating on you. You don't have 'evidence". But you feel it in your gut. You do not believe he will be honest with you if you ask him. So no matter what he says, you'll still feel it in your guts.

I'm sorry, but... I don't understand how you can continue this relationship under those conditions.

[Asker]

Long story short, I asked him this morning where he were and instead of answering, he asked me a question to change the subject. So I guess it's obvious he been lying. Told him to not contact me ever again.

[SteveSmith1985]

I'm really sorry. I know that seems like a social platitude, but I really am sorry. I've been cheated on, and although it was a very long time ago, it was the most painful experience I've ever been through.

Nothing I can say is going to make you feel any better.

I will say, that it's better that you know, rather than continuing on in a relationship with a cheater. It's good that you confronted him. And it's good that you didn't let his bullshit throw you off. You were looking to confirm or refute your 'gut feeling'. You got your answer. Good for you for not lying to yourself, or letting him lie to you successfully.

Going no-contact is DEFINITELY the way to go. ALthough you're likely going to question whether or not it really is the way to go... at various points. I think in this situation it definitely is. He's cheated in the past, he's cheated again. This guy doesn't deserve any more chances. There is nothing more to say. You'll feel like you've got LOTS you want to say to him at various points (to ask something, or to tell him what a piece of shit you think he is). Fight that impulse. No good can come of talking in this case.

I wish you all the best. 🙂

[Asker]

When it first happened and I had evidence, I asked him questions. I felt even worse in the end. So, this time I won't put myself through that again, even though I don't have any real evidence. His reaction when I asked him said it all. At least I'm at peace with myself tho, did everything I could.

Thank you. I wish you the same🙂

[SteveSmith1985]

I think you DO have 'evidence'. Just because it's not something that would hold up in court, doesn't mean you don't have valid evidence. I have complete faith that you didn't 'make up' that he's cheating. I trust that your gut knows. You should too. I'm glad you're at peace with yourself. That's so important. You have every reason to be at peace with yourself (not that being at peace means you aren't in a whole lot of pain).

And yes, getting your questions answered is only going to lead to more unnecessary pain. As you already know.

Take care of yourself. Good luck 🙂

[Asker]

Thank you so much 🤍

[AsaKyo]

They probably already are if they know you're never gonna see them or catch them doing anything since you're not physically there

[In_Trance]

They're LDR


That's all you need to know