I’m too unwell for any relationships. No one would ever love me enough to marry me. Would it be fine if I just remain loveless during my lifetime?

[Anonymous]

[SteveSmith1985]

Well... I'm gonna have to push back on this one.

I'm pretty sure you're not unlovable. You seem perfectly pleasant and polite here. Well the content isn't all-that pleasant, but you write-well.

You can totally choose to remain loveless during your lifetime. It is indeed an option, and nobody can stop you from choosing "lovelessness" if you're determined that's what you want.

But I promise you that if you're a kind person; and you've got love to give; it's just not true to say "no one would ever love you enough to marry you."

You should keep yourself open to the possibility, even if you don't believe me.

Because what if you're wrong?

[Asker]

I understand where you’re coming from. I’ve had too many failed attempts at romance, things lasted for maybe a couple months but that was it and they weren’t good relationships. I’ve tried working on myself a lot, going to therapy, reading, new hobbies, self image, getting close with God. It’s not in the books and I don’t have a lot of energy from also being so depressed.

[SteveSmith1985]

Wow, honestly that's an impressive amount of effort you've put into self-improvement. (I genuinely mean that).

I obviously don't know you. But, I doubt there is anything that makes you 'so unwell' you're unloveable' The only things I could think of that might make someone impossible to have a relationship with, would be things like: uncontrollable violent temper, or... really... that's about it. Unless you're someone whose issues result in you being abusive or something, then I mean... who says there's anything drastic about yourself that needs to change?

You sound like someone who suffers from depression, and has done a whole hell-of-a-lot in terms of trying to better yourself. Many many people have too many failed attempts at romance (myself included). But you can't just 'give-up'.

All you have to do is 'stay open to the possibility'. I'm not trying to tell you to go sign up for a dating site. Just, don't close yourself off and deem yourself "too unwell to be loved". I don't believe that's true.

[Curmudgeon]

I felt just like you once. But the funny thing was, once I found myself in a relationship, I found myself asking, in the words of a corny cabaret song of my parent's generation, "Is that all there is?"

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Fpg1UyEj7rI

[XHopelessRomanticX]

Nobody is truly unloveable, and I can tell that you are a lovely person, worthy of receiving love and with much love to offer.

Some people get married in their 20s, some in their 30s and 40s, and even some in their 50s and 60s. It may not be happening now, but that doesn’t mean it will never happen.
I read some of your replies to other comments and I commend you for all the work you are doing to improve your life and overall happiness! Don’t despair over your singleness, this is the time in your life to grow, learn, try new things, and discover the person you want to be.

[CrazyGirl2]

Yes probably, I mean if YOU know that you are “too unwell” then why would you want to drag some poor unsuspecting guy into your hellish realm of mental illness? Just stay alone, and if you get better, THEN pursue a relationship. You can’t work on a relationship if you are busy trying to get yourself well.

[Summeroflove]

You’ll find someone or find happiness alone

[TheSpaceGnome]

Most of the women who say they are "unwell" are just depressed or needy or clingy (none of which are actual problems).

What you actually want is for people to counter your thought (otherwise why post it).

But you didn't say what was wrong, so thats not possible.

[Asker]

I’ve just experienced so much loss, especially recently. And also I have no idea what to really talk about with anyone I date - they don’t seem really interested, and I’m not good enough to keep anything going.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Called it.

If thats all thats wrong with you, you're fine. You just haven't found a match yet.

[Asker]

I’m not good enough. I’m weird and some guys have thought I’m on the spectrum.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Everyone not boring is weird. what are your hobbies?

[Asker]

Competitive horseback riding, pole dancing, baking/cooking, watching horror movies, etc.
Also I’m cute but not gorgeous, at least based on feedback others give me.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Horror movies are fun (horror games are way better though).
Baking/cooking is an art if done right.
Pole dancing I feel is overrated? Like I imagine a couple and the wife is pole dancing for her husband, and he's like: "cool, she's naked and moving around and its hot and wait... why is she on the pole instead of me?
Horesback riding is eh, unless its a race it jist feels more like an outdated car with no suspension, safety measures, or temp control. Dunno if I would count drivinh as a hobby..

[Asker]

Yep, see, I don’t have anything interesting going on for a guy. I’ll just work on being extremely hot and getting plastic surgery - that’s how to hold someone interested.

[TheSpaceGnome]

No surgery, cute is good, find a rancher or racer who likes scary movies.

[Asker]

No one is really into me. It’s okay - there’s nothing wrong with being alone in life. I’m someone who also deserves no love, some people just don’t.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Stop being dramatic and have some patience.

[misogynistic_pig]

If you are under 30 years old, you should take advantage now or never, because after 30 years only ugly and poor men will want it.

[Asker]

I don’t care anymore. I hate myself and my life. It’s honestly what I deserve so thanks.

[AmeerX]

Hey what's wrong. You should talk to someone. Look when God said he made someone for you, it didn't mean it was only in your country. The world is open to you. Travel and find out

[FilmGuy93]

How you choose to live your life is entirely up to you.

[SlothySlob]

Would it be fine? Sure.

[slatyb]

It's fine with me. You should get some counseling.

[Anonymous]

It would probably best for everyone, yes.