I’m 35 and have never had a partner — should I give up on finding love?

[Anonymous]

I’ve (35) been single my entire life so far. I’ve very rarely dated. I was always shy growing up but now I feel a little more outgoing now that I’m older. I feel I’m getting to that age where it’s harder to meet people my age that are single. Right now I’ve just been living my life taking it day by day.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Why would you give up unless you've decided you just don't want to be with anyone anymore? I would imagine it sucks to go that long without a relationship but obviously there is something that is keeping people away. It could be opportunities not being available, it could be your looks or personality,

I mean there are all kinds of reasons but those are probably the main ones. Those you can control. If it's opportunities then just find some way to get yourself out there. If it's looks, change up what you wear or maybe a different haircut. If it's personality then talk to others around you and ask for a brutally honest opinion of you.

[Asker]

Maybe it’s because I’m short. I’m 5’2

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

My brother is 5'4 and ended up marrying a cheerleader. You'll be fine as long as your personality is on point.

[Asker]

I enjoy making people laugh. I’m also a friendly person. Hope that helps.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Yeah, a good sense of humor is a great start. Confidence is also attractive. Dont focus on the height thing and just be confident in who you are and you will attract others. If you let it get to you and call it out then it makes you look insecure which isn't something that attracts people

[Asker]

I guess I’ll start hitting the gym again and get back into better shape. The one thing on me where I get a lot of compliments are actually my eyes. I have bright greens eyes. People ask if I wear contacts sometimes.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

See, I melt for green eyes lol

I am sure it will attract others too. You also dont have to go overboard at the gym either. Toned is good, but like muscles on muscles is like... ew to me anyway lol

[Screenwriter]

You've got to put yourself out there to find others around your age. Meetups is a good place and you have to search through online dating sites. Some are simply hookup sites for people who are serially seeking sex. Have to wade through them.

But meetups has people seeking to play softball, hacky sack, frisbee golf, frisbee, runners, weight lifters, sailing... all kinds of interests. Find people like yourself who enjoy your avocations.

[Asker]

I’ve tried dating sites. It’s all the same. And you’re talking about meetup. com?

[Screenwriter]

Yep. You can have a lot of fun just interacting over interests. There are dating groups on meetup. com too. Ask friends to fix you up. People you know fairly well.

[Asker]

I’ve asks friends and nothing happened.

[Screenwriter]

OK, they're not those kind of friends.. May have no skills in that area. But look into meetups. At least you'll likely develop some new friends and maybe stoke some new interests. That's enriching in itself.

[Asker]

I’ll try it. Definitely need new friends

[Screenwriter]

There you go: POSITIVITY!!!

[Asker]

Would be nice to start going out again. My one buddy I haven’t heard from that much since he started seeing this girl. And my other friend I think just uses me. I always pick him up when we hang out. When I ask him he has excuses. Even caught him in a lie when he said he was going on a weekend trip to visit his wife’s friends from college when it was really her friends we already hang out with.

[Anonymous]

No, not give up. But back away a little bit. This is not a dragon that needs to be slayed.

[In_Trance]

Give up?
How can you give up when you haven't even started?

[Asker]

I’ve tried all the dating apps. Going out with friends. No one was interested.

[Anonymous]

If you're just living life day to day, then keep doing what you're doing. If you were obsessed about finding someone and constantly trying to find someone but couldn't, then giving up is a more understandable position if you were tired of trying. If anything, it sounds like a little more effort would be the solution.

[Asker]

I’ve tried dating apps in the past but that didn’t work so I got off those. I would like to find someone but no look desperate.

[Sunshinelips]

Don’t give up, life has a funny way of surprising you when you least expect it. Have you tried asking friends if they can set you up with someone?

[Asker]

Yes and no such luck. Just empty promises.

[Nikki1989]

Like I have mentioned many times on here, I know an old guy that found love and married at 72. You never give up.