How important is it for your partner to share the same beliefs as yours?

[cth2188]

It could be religious beliefs, core values, personal beliefs, etc?

Would you date someone who doesn't?

My partner aligning with me is very important so that clashing of beliefs don't happen.

Updates

+1 y

It's very frustrating to get your partner to understand your beliefs when they don't want to hear you or try to understand.

[caring__1]

Obviously, certain lifestyle differences are incompatible with each other, but beliefs aren't necessarily an issue, unless they are forced onto others. If one person is religious and the other an atheist, but both are respectful of the other's belief, that isn't an issue. Unfortunately, too many people feel everyone should conform to their belief, and that is the issue. You'll only get as much respect as you give, yet people often feel entitled to receive more than they give, assuming they're right and everyone else is wrong. If your partner believes it is more convenient to pee standing up, does that mean you need to conform to his belief or the relationship is doomed?

I also live in the country and truly savor the peace and quiet, even with the extra challenges of country living. I would never be with someone who insisted I live in the city or pressured me to conform to what's familiar to her, yet I'd have no problem being with someone who lives her life, respects my life and enjoys sharing the time we choose to connect. Due to people feeling so free to push their agenda onto others, I do tend to pass on opportunities when people declare interests in things that don't fit me, as I don't like disappointing people, and I'm not about to conform to be acceptable. I don't expect them to change for me, and I have no desire to change for them. I'm not about to be a provider of a lifestyle that is contrary to what works for me, but I'm not averse to being with someone who provides herself with things that don't interest me, as long as those choices don't negatively impact my life.

[cth2188]

I could never date an atheist it's an uneven unyoke union... I will talk about God to my partner.. of course I wouldn't be able to talk about God to an atheist. I'd do better with a religious/ spiritual partner

[cth2188]

I also want to marry which is mostly done in churches - once again religious belief system

[cth2188]

Like mixing oil and water never works out. I'm non judgmental just beliefs would clash.

[caring__1]

Any deal breakers need to be the same, though not everyone has the same deal breakers, so it's important people are clear from the start what those deal breakers might be. This reminds me of the dog my son had when he was young. She would sit down next to him and then slowly sneak in till she was laying in his lap. There's nothing wrong with deal breakers, but don't hide them from a potential partner till the other person has invested in the relationship, and don't expect people to conform to your belief.

[cth2188]

I'm not expecting to do anything I won't deal with you nor waste your time. Why I deal with like minded people for partners all my beliefs are upfront- it's up to the person if they want to move forward still. Well never be anything beyond friends.

[cth2188]

Anyone " all my beliefs are known upfront and in this day and time I don't expect or push my beliefs

[caring__1]

I may limit my options with my choices, but I'm not judging the other person... merely stating what I've found works for me. It's disrespectful to be critical of differences in others. Harmony and tranquility are deal breakers for me. Anyone who chooses to seek attention or take anything to an extreme will not be part of my life, yet they have every right to be the person they choose to be.

[cth2188]

I'm not judging anyone due to religious beliefs. I couldn't date an atheist, especially with my religious backgrounds and family - my family is traditional and religious people.

[caring__1]

You have every right to make those choices, believe what you choose to believe and be the person you choose to be. What we believe is our reality, and no one can force us to change our reality.

[cth2188]

Nor do I want anyone to chance my reality or beliefs

[LindsayR07]

Oh sweetie, it'd be fine if you talked to your atheist husband about God... Men never listen anyway so he wouldn't know bwahaha

[caring__1]

@LindsayR07 I actually enjoy understanding other people's perspectives, even if it doesn't mesh with what makes sense to me. I tend to be curious how people's beliefs develop over time. I can't have these enlightening conversations if the other person just blindly believes, based on indoctrination. Let's say you tell me the sky is green with purple polka dots. I'd be interested in seeing the sky through your eyes. If I show that curiosity, and you respond with "that's what I was always taught and what I believe," then there is nothing to explore and discover. You'd just be using different labels to describe what I already see.

When I was young, a girlfriend said "close your eyes and relax and let me kiss you. Don't respond... just experience the sensation." I had no idea a kiss could be so amazing. She showed me something I had never previously experienced, and I was very appreciative she shared that understanding with me. It's amazing how our life expands when we're willing to be open-minded.

[cth2188]

@caring__1 that's your beliefs I believe in God and know he's real. I don't deal with atheist in relationships, but have no issue being open minded to all belief systems. I don't push my beliefs onto others and don't care to hear about your beliefs. I would talk about God with my mate who also believes in God.

[cth2188]

I don't have conversations with atheists we have nothing to talk about-

[caring__1]

I know some atheists who are very deep thinkers and have much to share. Everyone has something to offer. I learn from everyone I meet. There is much more to life than just religion. I didn't realize your question about beliefs was limited to religion alone. I don't even ask people their religion before having conversations. I'm more interested in whether they have experience in the topic we plan on discussing.

[cth2188]

Idc what atheists have to say create a group and talk amongst yourselves- due to beliefs I have nothing to discuss with non believers.

[cth2188]

My life is surrounded by Jesus. I'm in a ministry, and religion will get discussed because I have been called for different assignments

[caring__1]

Enjoy limiting your experiences to those who are exactly like you. I'm sure you'll be happy.

[cth2188]

Yes I am

[AviatorTom]

This is a multi-part question...

Religious beliefs - nice to share but not that important if we don't

Core values - important that we share at least most of them, some differences okay

Personal beliefs - like religion, nice to share but not that important if we don't; somewhat different political views are okay... we just don't talk about that

[cth2188]

Those were examples nothing more nothing less

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I have a virtual partner that follows a different religion than I do. I've never looked at religion as something that could cause an issue. But that could be due to the fact I'm interested in what others follow & have questions about it.

[CateM]

I don't want my hypothetical partner always agreeing with me every single time who never disagrees with me, but I'd want them to generally be on the same page as me

[cth2188]

Agreed

[AnUglyBarnacle]

Absolutely. I'm a simple-living, rural farming guy. A high maintenance city gal would not work for me at all.

[cth2188]

Yes, happy holidays !

[AnUglyBarnacle]

Thanks. You too!

[cth2188]

I live in the country and wouldn't date a city mate

[AnUglyBarnacle]

So then you understand. haha. I breed crops for a living, so I *have * to be out in the boonies. Plus, I like a slow, quiet life. People used to constant hustle and bustle wouldn't be fond of that, probably.

[cth2188]

Same I love nature 💕

[cth2188]

Country life is better I don't do corporate or city life

[AnUglyBarnacle]

Yup. I love having this within a 20 minute walk of my house.

https://streamable.com/wvh8jp

[cth2188]

That is so beautiful and relaxing.. I love nature ❤️ 💕.. I'd give up where I'm at to live there

[AnUglyBarnacle]

It is until you're covered in ticks and chiggers! haha.

[cth2188]

Oh yes @

[cth2188]

Yes !

[Chazmatazz269]

Beliefs do not equate to facts. Therefore they are entirely dismissable until the twain shall meet. At that point i am no longer interested. I am not attracted to people whose conviction to beliefs exceeds their conviction to facts.
Outside of that, i’m VERILY interested in new ideas, ideals and beliefs! As long as you don’t demand conviction, i’m happy to practice with you.

[mstbooblover]

Generally I'm sure there must be a similar core in the field of beliefs in both partners. Some differences nevertheless are certainly enriching for both.

For sincerely religious people, common sense requires partners to have the same religion. In the field of politics, at least some similarity seems in my opinion to be desirable.

[Berethor]

Men and women are different, so it don't matter much to me, unless she don't want children.

[cth2188]

True for your case

[Sparkie460]

They don't have to be exactly the same. Similar beliefs are fine with me. Like they say, Opposites attract. My wife and I had our differences when we were dating.

[cth2188]

Yes , my partner would have to be in alignment on somethings right now the challenge opposite beliefs may not work out for certain things

[cth2188]

I'm glad it worked out for you I'm having a challenge with potential partners

[Sparkie460]

We work out some of our differences. Other things we just let go. We have more in common then not.

[cth2188]

There is no compromising of my current belief system as it's religious

[cth2188]

These aren't differences these are religious stands.

[Sparkie460]

Religious beliefs are a big one for people. I understand that. I believe in God but I'm not very religious

[cth2188]

That's great I'm part of a ministry so religion gets mentioned

[madgoat]

You're going to have to be respectful of differences, accommodating, and avoid trigger points. Good practice for everyone but may be more work than you want in this case.
When it comes to your kids, it may become a red flag. Further down the line but worth bearing in mind.

[Mansearching]

No one shares or believes the same. Everything varies. What both of you have to do is listen and respect each others. If one of you two don't, then the other is hard headed and disrespectful to their partner. They might not be the one for you.

Just remember opinions are like a-holes, ev1 got one and they both stink.

[Reece12345]

I believe in core values. There are many religions in the world, some of which I agree with more than others.

[LindsayR07]

I'm not too concerned about their religious beliefs, as long as they hold the same core ethical values i hold

[cth2188]

OK fair enough

[Smartgirl_hey]

I don't care about the incompatibility as long as he loves me but I expect basic thing her should be a single guy without any girlfriend

[ThatguyDon]

I have certain NO NO's like smoking that are definitely a turn off. Everything else is negotiable. Just remember you can never change anyone, that is up to them.

[TrishaMorgan]

I think there are a few things that must be aligned in order to make a relationship work. Beliefs are one of them. How can you be in love with a person you dread being around because of disagreements?

[exitseven]

It is very important. If you disagree with somebody over major issues like money or family can create a lot of friction.

[MemeSupreme]

we gotta have a lot of similar values/beliefs and at least be respectful of what ones we don't share

[bean2k21]

When I "date" someone, I AM her religious belief.

[cth2188]

What lol

[Philyouup]

for a relationship that is primarily a philosophical one. no
for a relationship that has long term goals, yeah its important

[LiamJHayden]

Religious - needs to be pretty close.

Political - not so much, unless she's full commie or Nazi

[AdithyaR]

Core values and morals definitely do need to be matching for me.

[Cassie2002]

I’d someone who believe as long they don't shove it down my throat as an Atheist I don't need it.

[cth2188]

Why not stick with other atheist or non believers why would you date a christian?

[Cassie2002]

It’s who you fall for. Instead of joining cults.

[cth2188]

I could say you're on your way to hell

[Cassie2002]

That’s what turns me off from Religion you and Dillon Awes.

[cth2188]

See how that works? No it's who I choose and pray for. Clearly it would be a Godly mate not someone who isn't Godly or doesn't believe in God. Stop judging people and you wouldn't be judged.

[cth2188]

Just because I believe in God doesn't make me religious it makes me a believer. The issue with society of today instead of focusing on your own life.

[Cassie2002]

When those like Dillon Awes call for my kind to be deleted. That really gonna attract me.

[cth2188]

I don't go around judging people , but seemingly you have the answers for my life

[cth2188]

You have your beliefs and I have mines - I stick with believers of God see how that works

[Twalli]

To some degree. I won't date someone who wants to wait until marriage. I won't date someone who wants me to convert to their belief system

[Summeroflove]

Equally yoked so yeah

[BLP11520]

Religion and politics can keep people apart. Younger men are not mellow on many topics, I know I was not.

[noohair]

It makes a calmer relationship if both are on the same page.

[crossdressingrihno]

No it’s not all too important

[Danny_dan92]

These days? It’s kind of important

[dancaps2]

Extremely important.

[Anonymous]

Very important ma'am.

[Charlesbrandonf]

Not at all

[ChiTown33]

Very.

[MadKez]

Important

[EaterPeter]

Somewhat.

[Nominal]

Yes į would.