Do you believe in blind trust in a serious relationship & marriage i. e. you don't need to know each other's passwords, where they at constantly etc?

Question

ObscuredBeyond · Accepted Answer

Phone inquiry is only something I'd turn to if there's a whole lot of other reasonable grounds for suspicion. Even then, I'd think of that as a last resort. Only if that leads to something incriminating, would I dig for passwords to unveil more incriminating evidence, treating the whole matter then as a semi-formal investigation.

But if there's no reasonable grounds for suspicion of that level of serious wrongdoing, then demanding to know everything about where she is and what she does is outlandish. She's got her passwords, and I've got mine. Those lines don't get breached unless there's a really damn good reason.

I've seen an instance happen right in front of me at work one night last year. The guy gave a thing of Chaptstick to a friend on a bike. Police decided it kinda sorta looked sus to them. They were scouting in search of a bank robber, but decided to swarm the place and harass a bunch of teens instead. Without a single warrant or anything, they then immediately raided the car, and brought in the K9 sniffer dogs.

The guy got arrested, and they even stole his girlfriend's shoes without giving probably cause as to why. So she had to walk around the store barefoot.

They were supposed to give her back her phone; but gave her back his phone instead. She immediately decided to go snooping, in front of the whole store, bragging that she was doing it! She found a picture of him from forever ago, with some other gal, at some party, and then bragged to my face how she was going to confront him about this woman at the party from before he had even met her!

Bear in mind, this same woman was also claiming that she might be pregnant with his kid. This is why I try to avoid Fruitland Park, FL.

That girl is exactly a textbook example of how NOT to handle trust in a relationship!

Datboi65 · Accepted Answer

Trying to resist the urge not to make a Nazi salute joke 😂

No, blind trust is a recipe for disaster. That's one sure way to lose half of your belongings and pay alimony over a divorce that resulted from your wife cheating or "irreconcilable differences".

Building a solid foundation is absolutely needed. A level of trust is also needed. However, one should not mistake trust for being naive. You have to also pay attention to certain red flags and if you don't, you only have yourself to blame. That doesn't mean you question your partner over their whereabouts every time they leave the house, but rather not being foolish enough to assume that they are with their friends at 3 AM on a Tuesday night, ya know? Somethings are fishy and you sometimes have to trust your gut.

I don't believe in taking passwords. I will however ask a lot of questions with reasonable suspicion if I find something out of place, and I will pay attention to body language and tone (if they get defensive). If I'm still feeling uneasy about the answer or there are some inconsistencies in the story I was given I will call it quits and move on.

Anemone978 · Accepted Answer

Well yeah we trusted each other for the most part but he knew my passwords but I didn't know his but I broke into his phone after a couple of days and searched it and there was nothing of interest lol
I would trust him to go out with friends and I wouldn't call or text him unless it was after 2am and I never really cared when he went out. I don't think he trusted me on the other hand but oh well...

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

Absolutely. I completely know I can trust my husband, because I was picky and chose someone who never exhibits sneaky and secretive behavior.

Summeroflove · Answer

I agree. If I married someone it would need to be someone I trusted and she trusted me. Trusted to be fine with knowing each others stuff but not invading it.

ArtemisSilver · Answer

No, I believe in trust earned and verified.

My wife and I know how to get into eachothers phones for emergencies but we don't go snooping about either.

As for where someone is, I've got location services logged on my phone as does she, we're free to check but don't.

So basically there's a lot of trust born not of blind faith but the fact that we know we could check on eachother should there be a reason.

We're also polyamorous, so why sneak around and hide things at all?

RealMarek · Answer

I believe in trust, but open-eyed trust based on how they have behaved. If there is cause to be worried, there is usually some sign of it.

admles · Answer

Yep.

Complete trust unless they do something that violates that.

I don't need to know where my wife is, her passwords (I don't WANT to know them), to read her private conversations, and I expect the same in return.

BJP21 · Answer

Sure, I believe in some level of it. I call it an honor system. All the constant wondering is unnecessary stress in an already delicate relationship balance.

NathanDavis · Answer

there is genuine trust... based on genuine bonds and commitment and then there's everything else I only do the first

Redstang88 · Answer

I wouldn’t call that blind trust, just not being a controlling douchebag

Anonymous · Answer

There is no blind trust. One has to convey trust through his actions.

SnowedIn · Answer

Absolutely 100% yes.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, but only to a certain extent.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Blind trust is for fools.

Do you believe in blind trust in a serious relationship & marriage i. e. you don't need to know each other's passwords, where they at constantly etc?

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