Together 12 months and we still haven't said I love you. Can I say it first?

[Anonymous]

My partner and I have been together 12 months. We are in a LDR and see each other once or twice a month. We speak and facetime everyday on the phone and message constantly throughout the day. We had an instant connection that we have both recognised and we have made it very clear not only verbally but also in our actions that we care very much about each other. I've told him as he has told me many times that I have fallen for him and we both have recently signed off on cards and letters Love instead of just our names. I love him and I have been wanting to tell him now for so long but I'm afraid to say it, mainly out of nerves. I have a feeling he loves me back as we are very open in our communication with each other and tell each other everything and what we are feeling - except I love you! He has so much going on in his life at the moment and is extremely under the pump but things will start to settle down for him in about 5 months time and he keeps telling me we will discuss our future after this. If any of you reading this ever saw us together, I'm sure you would see it straight away. We have both been married before and I am so ready to tell him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance x

[SnowedIn]

Yes, you can say it first. Gender isn't relevant to saying "I love you." BUT... don't expect him to say it back. Sounds like he's not at that point yet verbally.

That said, here's my advice: life never gets easier. It never settles down. Don't think you can wait to have the conversations. In five months there will be something new. That's real life. And, that's a committed relationship or marriage too. So have the discussions now otherwise you'll wake up in 3 years and haven't had the discussion.

[Asker]

Thank you, great advice.

[OlderAndWiser]

There's no rule on who says it first. If you want to say it first, that's fine. One bit of advice: the first time you say, don't do it when your panties are on the floor. When you are in the midst of sex, people will say 'I love you' and it just isn't taken seriously.

[Summeroflove]

I think someone has to say it first. I think you should tell him and at least you got it out there. I think 12 months it’s reasonable to say it.

[Guy13]

Sounds like someone needs too

[Asker]

Haha so true 😀

[Guy13]

Yeah, are you going to do it?

[WTFdivorce]

Just say you love me right? He will say yes. Good I love you too.

[boggboss]

Why wouldn't u be able to say it first

[Asker]

Nervous. Afraid it will affect the relationship.

[boggboss]

So why wouldn't that also apply to him

[Asker]

Very very good point. You are right. Thank you.

[OddBeMe]

Umm he’s seeing other people.

[Asker]

What would make you say that?

[OddBeMe]

Ldr.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

Yes. Do so as soon as wisely possible.

[artsy_dragon]

Say I love you 💖

[Asker]

I think I will when we see each other this weekend x

[Trekv22]

That's exciting! Let us know how it goes!

[Asker]

@Trekv22 thank you, will do if I don't chicken out 🙈

[Anonymous]

I don't know.