Is it unreasonable to expect my husband to leave a note (or text me) to let me know where he’s gone when I wake on holidays in a strange town?

[Teenie1985]

He took the car and his phone rang out.

[caring__1]

Any expectation we have that others will change their normal patterns is unreasonable. I understand you want the note, but don't turn it into an obligation, as that will only reduce your likelihood of getting what you want. You can say, "When I woke up, I discovered I was all alone in a strange place, and I felt afraid. When you've left notes in the past, the fear didn't appear, as I knew when to expect you back. Knowing what is happening helps me to feel in control of my situation, without needing to control others. I appreciate when you help me feel in control of my situation."

[Teenie1985]

He doesn’t leave notes. The communication has been a problem for a while. It’s not a control thing as I don’t care where he is or goes. It’s a safety thing. If something should happen to him, I wouldn’t know where to start looking. 🤷‍♀️ I’ve explained this to him repeatedly.

[caring__1]

As I said, expecting others to change is what is unreasonable. He is who he chooses to be, just like you are who you choose to be. Is he insensitive and inconsiderate? Yes, he is... but this is who he chooses to be. He's not going to show you long-term change because you apply pressure. If he does show any change, it will be temporary and/or conditional. I agree with your logic regarding notes, but he doesn't care. If you stay with him and have any kids, you're just showing them a role model of being a doormat. Is that what you feel is in their best interest? No matter how much females are taught "It's the woman behind the man" or "It's the woman who makes the man," men are not lumps of clay, eager to be molded by women. Don't focus on his choices; focus on your choices... as that's all you have within your control.

[Guy13]

It makes sense to me as long as you are not one of those drill down on everything until

you never want to even say Hey because they will go Hey, What? If you are like that

then i would never leave you any communication cause I'm not dealing with the inquisition.

NOW if you are receive a text and "Thanks, see you later" type response then he has no excuse.

[Teenie1985]

I don’t care where he goes. I’m just after a little bit of communication. Always has time for work calls, though!

[Guy13]

YeeeeP !!!

[sage2021]

Doesn't he think maybe you'll worry about him. He should text or call you.

[KarinMcDonald]

In my opinion it's not unreasonable!

[Anonymous]

No, a simple text would be sufficient.