Is it normal to feel insecure about my boyfriend going to a strip club for a stag do?

Question

My boyfriend has been invited to a stag do in September. Am I being stupid about him going to this strip club? I'm so insecure I'm actually thing about taking pole classes now 😔

I've talked to him about how but he hasn't reassured me. I'm quite pathetic excuse for a girlfriend

ShadezMcgee · Accepted Answer

To piggy back off @aerissa_jade

Try going to a strip club with him to get a sense for the environment and the women in that line of work. Each club and girl is different.

Some of those clubs have couples nights where you can both go to observe and have fun. Typically clubs have a no touch policy but there are some that allow light touching or by dancer discretion, they vary on semi to full nude clubs, dancing and stage sets can be different as well. There are also lap dance purchases and some clubs have champagne rooms/ VIP rooms and areas.

Bottom line, most women there are just like regular women, but focused on making their money and having a fun time with some down to earth people. The ones who give them a bad name are the ones that have drug issues or are soliciting services, but they are few and far in between.

End of the day it comes down to trust. Do you trust him or do you believe he has shown behavior that suggests he may stray and try something?

Shamalien · Accepted Answer

First of all, stop beating yourself up for being insecure over this. Second, if you trust him, you have nothing to fear. If you’re not comfortable with it then you should communicate that.

generally if you’re in a relationship I don't know if you should go out and get piss drunk at these greasy places without your SO. If I got invited to go and my girlfriend said no, I would respect that, and tbh strip clubs are overrated anyway, certainly not worth putting stress on my relationship for.

You could offer him a very special night full of sexual favours in attempt to sway him from going with positive reinforcement

daizy_moore · Accepted Answer

I feel like it’s normal to feel insecure tbh I feel like it’s disrespectful for a man to have a girl fully naked dancing infront of them twerking even though they aren’t touching them there is no point for someone who is married or in a relationship to be in a place like that it opens the door to them lusting over an other woman who isn’t the person they are dating if you aren’t okay with it express how you feel if he fully respects you and cares about your feelings he wouldn’t put you in a place where he could loose you or make you feel hurt a person who is truly in love with you will consider your feelings. i told my boyfriend how I felt when there was a similar situation and he considered my feelings and doesn’t go to strip clubs to each their own I know there is girls who allow it and don’t mind but if you do mind voice it in a relationship you should always be able to express what you like and wouldn’t like

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

That's a pretty long time away, you should try going to a strip club with him before hand, get a feel for it and what happens.

Many of them, are simply watching dancing, varies types. I don't know what it is like where you live, but here... no sex of any kind is allowed, it is strictly visual.

Even touching a girl will get your thrown out... and taking pole dancing classes is great exercise, even if you only do it for yourself.

The real question is, what do you think he is going to do besides look? Because honestly if your worried about that, he could do that anywhere, not just at a club.

AviatorTom · Answer

It's all about trust. Do you trust him?

by the way, not much really happens at a strip club. Scantily clad or nude women dance and parade around and guys ogle them... nothing sexual happens... that's illegal.

Apple1996 · Answer

I'd feel insecure about that too. You should tell him that you'd be uncomfortable with him going and maybe try talking him out of it

Anonymous · Answer

Female strip clubs are boring. I don't know why women are so insecure about it. Men just go there during their stag to do something "naughty" like in movies. They are just paying for a sexy show. They pay for a sex performance, not for the girls since touching is not allowed. The guy is not getting anything out of it.

I need however to precise for the guys: male strip clubs are not the same at all. The girls touch and grope the strippers. So be careful when your girl want to go to one.

Anonymous · Answer

I've never understood the point of bachelor parties at a strip club. But, again, I'm kind of a stick in the mud. I've never been to a strip club and never plan to. So I'm not allowed to give my opinion on this, but I feel like it's normal to feel worried, and if he sees it upsets you he may not go. It's a complicated problem, but I'd personally skip going to my friend's party if it was there. In fact, I've done so, twice.

LazerBean · Answer

Yes it's normal. Deep down, everyone knows that respectable people do not unironically go to strip clubs.

SexyRedd1966 · Answer

Stop negative talking yourself... you need to work on your self-esteem and loving yourself... nothing wrong with strip clubs... believe me, those women in there don't want nothing but their dollar bills... you guys should go together sometimes

DaisyM23 · Answer

it's not like he wants to go normally (i think) this is a stag do and a pretty normal thing I guess. You don't have to take pole dancing classes though wtf, if you're feeling this insecure then talk to him about it but why isn't he reassuring you?

Agape93 · Answer

Nope. Any concerns you have are valid ones. Do you trust him?

Jerre · Answer

Just try to be comfortable with him going. All he will do is watch, maybe get a hardon. But you can fuck the he’ll out of him when you see him.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. Believe me there is no sex in the champagne room. I was a stripper for a while, its not like male strippers at a bachelorette party where they let you suck their big dicks, will fuck you and cover you with jazz in front of your friends.

Dav1dTh0ma3 · Answer

Yes, it's normal. I mean, he's going there to basically see half naked women. Why should he need to do that, when he has you, right?

AydenHazor · Answer

Your not a pathetic excuse for a girlfriend. Personally I would never go to a strip club, regardless of the reason. I think going to one as part of a stag do is disrespectful towards the to be bride as well.

JSmuve · Answer

What do you honestly think will happen? Do you think he's going to break up with you and run away with a stripper? Because that's not going to happen.

Berethor · Answer

It make sense for you to be jealous about that, the question is if you not being overjealous.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Didn't you just admit last week that he was wrong for you? I thought we had reached a breakthrough there. And no, you're not a bad girlfriend at all!

nawtee_me · Answer

First off if this is in September and it is just January right now he may not even want to go by that time. He may also forget about it by then too.

Iron_Man · Answer

That’s a long ways off. Why so late? No he should not be going to any strip joints when he’s in a relationship with you

BJP21 · Answer

Depends on the type of club, in most cases the dancers are there to make money not dates.

BLP11520 · Answer

It is normal, I think that is exactly how you should feel

CubaPirate · Answer

Yeah it's only natural don't let it get you down

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Yeah it's normal, but to be frank, September is a long way away, so you might not even be with him anymore by then, so you won't even have to worry about it

Apple_Cider · Answer

Just be thankful it's at a strip club, and not a private party.

MiamiMadness · Answer

I mean pole dancing has some really great health benefits too..

OddBeMe · Answer

Sure. But the real issue is the lack of trust. Not the strippers. My wife would know I wouldn’t do anything.

Guardian45 · Answer

If it's a major issue, then tell him there will be consequences if he chooses to go.

Anonymous · Answer

Personally, I’d rather be with my woman than at a strip club, unless I’m not attracted to her.

Anonymous · Answer

Worst case he blows his load in his pants.

Is it normal to feel insecure about my boyfriend going to a strip club for a stag do?

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