I was sexually assaulted a few years ago and don’t think I can be in a romantic relationship because I’m scared. Is it ok to avoid them forever?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Yes you can be alone for ever or heal for yourself for the left over time sake and experience being highs and lows of life. Everyone surely goes through a heart break and they all don’t avoid love care affection. What hurt you yesterday must be in the cemetery, what May bring tomorrow must be your excitement, and what is today should be an experience. Life is a package. If you want to avoid something. You’ll realise there is nothing in your hands. We powerless before the process of life. Don’t be afraid to get hurt, we all are wounded, got hurt, got our hearts ripped, scratched from the depths of life. We survived and we will survive. Don’t let go of the past don’t stop the new day as well.

[slatyb]

See a therapist. You suffered serious trauma and therapy could help.

[kylee2437]

You should invest into therapy because essentially it’s not really healthy that you feel like you need to steer clear out of fear

[Asker]

Well maybe it’s healthier if I stay on my own.

[kylee2437]

@asker not for the reason that you specified. What happens if you meet a man that only wants to love you for eternity, and you fall for him back but you have this baggage of fear from your trauma? It’s something that needs to be sorted out because you can’t predict the future

[Asker]

I honestly don’t think I’ll ever experience someone who loves me that much in a romantic sense. Every guy I meet is just so-so about me.

[kylee2437]

Again, you don’t know the future. That baggage of unloaded trauma may inhibit you from giving vulnerability to make a guy feel close to you.

[Asker]

Unfortunately I try to open up as much as possible on dates like vulnerability wise. I can’t predict the future but I do know that I won’t get someone to fall in love with me and want to get married.

[kylee2437]

So no offense , I’m not really down for the game of excuses. You can 100% find someone but expecting them to put up with your fear of relationships because you don’t want to get help is not okay.

[Asker]

I understand. I just feel like there’s not a lot of time since I’m young now. Everyone says it gets so much harder when you’re older and that might be when I’m actually ready for a relationship.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Therapy hun, therapy.


Trauma can be healed. But it takes time and patience.


You can heal.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Avoiding them isn't going to solve your issues. You need to talk to someone about them

[Asker]

But is it ok if I do remain single for the remainder of my life? Maybe it’s to keep myself safe and out of harms way.

[Razp_Sorbet]

There's nothing wrong with choosing to be single. But choosing to be single out of fear isn't healthy

[Asker]

Sometimes I don’t have a choice though. I have serious problems getting anyone romantically interested. So it’s kind of my only option to be alone.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Another option is to seek professional help

[Abc99]

Scared?

[Asker]

I’m scared of intimacy and don’t trust them

[Abc99]

So you were assaulted by an ex romantic partner thats why you lost trust in romantic relationships

[Asker]

I just don’t think anyone really feels that way about me romantically. Or has strong feelings about me.
Even if they did I could never feel them.