My girlfriend doesn't see my notifications even tho she is on her phone?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend is on her phone on Facebook and I tag her in something or she could be on something else but I tag her and she doesn't see it, I had a conversation with her about why she doesn't see my notification and she said because I don't feel like answering it but she responds to my Snapchat message. How she sees it is that she still contacts me as in messages me so she will look at the tag in her own time, I said it makes me happy but she still doesn't see them. We used to tag eachother in a lot of stuff and she didn't have a problem seeing it but now she says if I don't see it remind me that you tagged me in something but even tho she's on the application or she's seen her notifications but doesn't open it? I don't know how to feel about this?

[PrettyPriya]

Was that the entire conversation you had with her? "She doesn't feel like answering it"? There is no more context to the conversation other than that? Did you ask her why she doesn't feel like answering her notifications on Facebook but will on other apps?

This just sounds really strange. I wouldn't think too much into it though if she is answering you elsewhere. That is what I am gathering from your details on the situation.

Perhaps she just doesn't like that particular social media site as much as communicating through the other one. Perhaps it is more convenient on one compared to the other. Maybe she has more people that she talks with on the other one compared to FaceBook. You can see how I can go on and on listing possibilities.

The point is that you need to ask her. You said you did but that really wasn't a valid response. Furthermore, you need to think if it is really worth getting upset over some notifications. As long as everything is good in the relationship, don't worry about it or make too big of a deal.

[Asker]

Thank you for an actully reply and taking the time to read it. How I see it is that she saw my facebook notifications at the start of the relationship so why can't she see them now, it's only been 8 months, she says things change and I said so the thing that made me happy has changed.

[PrettyPriya]

You are welcome. Okay, so let me point one thing out that is almost a universal certainty when it comes to relationships. They change after that initial stage of excitement. It is called the "honeymoon" phase and all relationships go through it.

It is that time where all you want to do is be in constant contact, talk, message and be around each other. After a certain period of time, that can vary from person to person, that fades away and the relationship normalizes.

You stop being so lovey dovey and just kind of coexist. That doesn't mean she doesn't care for you an less. Usually, that is quite the opposite. It is just the constant need to show it has passed and it is just assumed.

This has been very true in my relationship. When I was dating my now husband, we would text and message all the time. Now? Not so much. Getting him to answer texts is like pulling teeth. I still married him though because that wasn't important.

Now, if it is something that you find is important to you, you need to tell her that. To me, it just really wouldn't be a big deal.

[Asker]

I completely understand were you are coming from but it's just annoying and I struggle to understand sometimes due to my ADHD, in my eyes if I'm on Facebook and she tagges me in something I will answer but in her eyes she has stayed in contact with me so the Facebook tag isn't a big deal so she will look at it later, I just don't know how someone especially your loved one can just see a notification but not open it but then carry on doing what she wants on her phone. It isn't a big deal but annoying as it makes me happy when we ain't with eachother. Thank you for a response as it's been bugging me and from someone else's perspective is good aswell, I can't talk to her about it because she just thinks its petty and goes on a rampage, I can't even talk to her without her blowing off and then gets too emotional and then overwhelmed even tho I start the conversation calmly, she just blows it out of proportion and that isn't trying to sort things out.

[PrettyPriya]

Yep, I get what you are saying. It is important to you and she doesn't agree that it is. So, you have come to an impasse on the situation. Now, there are two sides to this. One is that if it is important to you and she cares about you, she should be willing to do this or at least compromise somehow.

Problem is that it sounds like you may have made a big deal so she pushes back and pushes back hard. That could be the reason for the blowup. Maybe she is sick of hearing about it and gets mad. Is that right of her? No, it isn't.

My best advice is to let things cool down for a while. Just don't bring it up. I know, easier said than done for you. However, if you let that happen, then you can revisit it and calmly explain that it really makes your day when she responds to your notifications. Tell her that. If she does truly care for you, she will understand.

I just think that if you bring it up now, with her likeliness of going on a "rampage" it isn't going to solve anything. Not bringing it up for a while and then discussing might yield better results. Best of luck to you both.

[Asker]

I let things cool off and bring it back up in a week or 2 and she will still go off the rails, she keeps thinking because this notification thing makes me happy and she isn't doing it she thinks everything else she does to make me happy isn't making me happy, we both spoke about it and she said she's going to work on it so I'm going to just sit back and wait to see if she does change, you can never change someone but you can talk it out and they can change on there own accord to make the relationship better or worse

[PrettyPriya]

That is a very good attitude to have. If she has said she will work on it, give her the chance and don't push. Everyone has their own way and time needed to change something. Just give it to her. That is a mature attitude that you have about it.

[Asker]

But what happens if she doesn't change, I can't talk about it again because she will just blow up and say not this again, I just don't see how hard it is to open a notification, I thought it she loved me she would be curious to open my notification and to fix the situation?

[PrettyPriya]

Well, you have only two options then. Either deal with it or break up. There really is no other option if she just doesn't change. At least not one that I can think of.

I also don't see what the big deal is with simply opening a notification and/or responding to it. Seems like something that should take a matter of a minute to sort through. I don't get her objection to something rather simple.

[Asker]

Sadly they are the only 2 options and I don't know why she's objecting it, it's a simple thing that makes me happy but instead of talking it out and her saying Okey I will try she instead went off the rails why she didn't want to open it and doesn't want to open in, Im always calm as I know what she's like when it comes to confronting but the different approach never works

[PrettyPriya]

I can agree that it does seem petty of her to be this objectionable about something like a notification. Sounds like almost she is doing it on purpose at this point to annoy or prove some sort of point. It is childish behaviour.

[Asker]

I will just see how it goes and go from there, thank you for your help and hopefully it will get sorted. He argument it that she can open it when she wants and at the end of the day she has answered my Snapchat so she has still had contact with me but I don't understand is that she can do it before but she can't do it now and her answer to that is 'i don't have an answer for you'.

[PrettyPriya]

You are welcome and I hope it works out. She does just seem to be doing it out of spite at this point. Perhaps after a while she will realize how silly it really was.

[Asker]

Sadly she will never see how silly it is because she thinks it's all part of how a relationship changes (people change).

[boobliker]

I also get that a lot. you have to send them i was told and make sure she a friended xx both ways

[Asker]

Sorry can you please explain that a bit better

[boobliker]

1. make sure you are both frends, the send and share with them and fb will learn

[Asker]

We are boyfriend and girlfriend so we are friends on there

[peterrezeeek]

give me her account name i, ll teach u how to hack it

[Guy13]

Yea, right.

[Asker]

Yea right what?

[Anonymous]

Its probably a glitch.

[Asker]

When she comes home I see the notification on her phone still?

[Opinion Owner]

Is she ignoring you?

[Asker]

She said she didn't feel like opening it but she can happily go through Facebook feed or go on Snapchat or talk on WhatsApp but just doesn't want to open what I tagged her in?

[Opinion Owner]

Interesting.

[CoolCatMar1]

A glitch..

[Asker]

The notification is still on her phone when she gets back home, it isn't a glitch