If a wife wants more kids and the husband doesn't should she stop taking the pill and try to get pregnant without his knowledge?

[coachTanthony]

Yes she should if she wants more

No that is dishonest

How would he even know

see poll ( Coach will you be the father or my children? )

[CrazyGirl2]

I couldn’t even choose “No it’s dishonest” because if any woman who does that (and I know it happens) it would be the most unethical, and immoral betrayal of her husband, EVER! To violate your husband in that way and obtain fraudulent consent for sex… That’s RAPE! If he knew she was off birth control, he would NEVER have consented to sex, and even if he did, it would not be informed consent, so he could have pulled out! That is the biggest betrayal any wife could engage in. She is completely violating her vows, his trust, and his human rights.

[tzdc21]

Very true. In fact, it's right up there with paternity fraud.

[AMS700CX4u2]

That is a superb question that has evolved with the development of birth control. Genesis tells us that God's wishes are for us to remain naked and copulate to populate. later on the old testament we hear that a wife's duty to her new family was to deliver many children, the family's strength was in its number. Catholicism seems to have built on that. There also is stated that the only sex that is without sin is sex that ends with an unprotected penis delivering ejaculate into an unprotected vagina. It was not until the average couple could exert some degree of control over finances that controlling the number of births became an issue. At first the problem was feeding the family. but as the family became more affluent, maintaining financial status became more important than having more children than one could educate and feed. The options were evident through the Roaring 20's. If the wife is fertile then pay someone to deliver the pleasure, and let any pregnancy be a work expense for them. Birth control was on it's way. Condoms and a new Pill showed up to help reduce the desire to look elsewhere for fulfillment. So we arrive at a point where the decision is ours. That puts the question to a matter of trust. I know of situations where women have stopped taking the pill in secrecy and gotten pregnant because they wanted a child. It used to be a common ploy to force a male into marriage. In my experience, those relationships don't last because they are built on mistrust. Don't be surprised to see the divorce papers on their way.

[OlderAndWiser]

Most people's deas about marriage revolve around partnership, having common goals, and making important decisions together. If she wants more kids and he doesn't, she should accept his decision or leave him.

[Apple1996]

Nah but that's kind of on him like he shouldn't be having unprotected sex if he doesn't want anymore kids regardless of if she's on birth control or not

[Avicenna]

Uh, so you think there’s no expectation that your spouse shouldn’t try to deceive you?

[Apple1996]

@Avicenna everyone should be responsible for themselves and not have to put that weight of responsibility on their spouse for birth control.

[Avicenna]

You completely miss the point here. In the scenario from Coach, the wife disregards the husband‘s desire not to have more kids and without telling him stops using birth control. Do you think that deception is OK?

[Apple1996]

@Avicenna if the husband didn't want anymore kids then he should take responsibility for himself and used birth control on his part. That is purely his fault. Nobody should trust their partners 100% or anyone for that matter. Only person you should trust to do the right thing is yourself

[Avicenna]

That mentality is ridiculous

[Apple1996]

@Avicenna taking responsibility for yourself isn't ridiculous at all. It's what we should be doing in every situation not just for birth control/kids but literally everything

[Keishio]

Woman lies = Mans' fault

[Keishio]

If the wife doesn't want to use birth control then she should tell her husband she's coming off

[Djaay]

The wife disregarded the husband's choice to NOT have any children yet. And the wife went behind his back and baby trapped him without the husband knowing and you're saying everyone is responsible for they're own birth control. The irony of you

[Apple1996]

@Djaay she's not trapping him if she made it clear that she wants more kids that should be a red flag for him to take control to prevent that from happening

[Djaay]

NO... That's entrapment, discerning, dishonest , betrayal of compression disrespect , selfish , contention... just to name a few I get your point , but she also new he wasn't on any contrceptive. This shows her I'll intention to trap I agree us men must be responsible too , but very really do you ever here of actual baby trap coming from men.

[Djaay]

By the way there's NO DOUBLE STANDARD FROM EITHER MEN NOR WOMEN... NO MEANS NO. Correct?

[coachTanthony]

@Djaay I cannot disagree. To have to worry about your wife is outrageous.

[Djaay]

The insinuation you make that mem need to heed and bow to a woman is where your logistical fortitude messes your intention of deceit and that's a bigger RED FLAG. 🚩

[Djaay]

I would never let you rape me like that.

[Apple1996]

@Djaay eh nah baby trapping from men is pretty common too. I hear stories about that all the time being military. a lot of guys will get their girls pregnant before deployments so they can't leave them while they're gone.

And yeah I feel the same about it either way for both genders. If someone doesn't wanna risk pregnancy then don't have sex. It's as simple as that

[Apple1996]

@Djaay ridiculous you'd think I'd rape you. I'm literally 8 months pregnant. Can't trap anyone with a baby even if I wanted to 😂

[Keishio]

What if the shoe was on the other foot. The married couple used condoms as a contraceptive because the wife doesn't want anymore children but the husband does so he lies about having one on. Would she be to blame for getting pregnant for trusting her partner and not using birth control while they both agreed they would be using condoms?

[Djaay]

Funny how a military guy would have even think they're women would leave them when they're gone... But I do know that very answer. Sure is interesting how quick a woman makes up her mind , even more interesting is the reason why. Bc women only stay emotionally as long as that may last and never actually commit...

[Djaay]

That's theoretically speaking... a generality.

[Apple1996]

@Keishio for sure she should have taken that responsibility into her own hands and gotten on birth control or just not had sex

[Apple1996]

@Djaay totally depends on the woman and why they're in that relationship. Some do commit, some don't. And yeah a lot of wives will leave during/after deployments. Just how it goes even if they have baby

[Djaay]

I'm very versed in why women do what women do. No woman actually commits. They're just there emotionally until they're not emotionally pampered , then off to the next. And some men are expectant of the woman's vows bc they themselves don't realize her emotional needs.

[Apple1996]

@Djaay umm probably cuz women are in relationships for the emotional side. Why would they waste time with a guy that doesn't wanna fill that? It's like the whole point of being in a relationship

[Djaay]

Men feel similar. (i. e.) men are in relationships to commit on a spiritually foundation. The problem with this is .. what?

[AviatorTom]

Hell NO! That would be totally dishonest, and probably break up the marriage, which would do unknown harm to the child. Having kids is not what the parents want, it's what the new child brings to the world.

[Guy13]

Blatant dishonest and long-term relational distrust. This ought to be a lovely environment for all the children. Who thinks this would be a good idea.

[Avicenna]

No, that’s not OK

[MissHope]

No. She should not do such things to her husband. If he doesn’t want kids or her they should both sit down and talk about it and convince each other about points and make it work out somehow. This exact problem happening with my uncle. His wife got pregnant with their first baby after marrige then she lost it. Then got pregnant again and had a boy & right after that she got pregnant with her second baby and now she just gave birth to their new daughter. They’re suffering financially now and he has to get extra work to support and still she wants to have more and they’re always fighting and complaining about it. Some women think from their ass instead of their brain.

[Brittanyroseee]

No that’s disgusting. This is why many fathers don’t pay child support or are even in the child’s life. There are tons of cases of the woman getting herself pregnant, unbeknownst towards her husband or boyfriend. Many of the times, the woman KNOWs he doesn’t want kids. Then, when she has the kid, YEET he is gone! And she is sitting there whining her ass off wondering why he isn’t around. Ladies, y’all play yourselves when y’all do that type of shit😂😂😂😂😂

[Brittanyroseee]

Am I talking about men that don’t use protection? Im talking about men who are married or in a relationship with someone, who clearly knows he doesn’t want children, and she uses birth control or has an IUD, and decides to remove the IUD or stop talking birth control without him knowing. There is also a thing girls do when they take the used condom, and they try to put the semen inside of them…. Sooooooo yeah lol

[Brittanyroseee]

Also, do you rlly think men who are married or in a serious relationship are gonna use a condom? No. Usually their female significant other is on birth control.

[Brittanyroseee]

I think it’s disgusting how women try to trap their man.

[shaysh87]

[Also, do you rlly think men who are married or in a serious relationship are gonna use a condom? No. Usually their female significant other is on birth control.]

there are plenty of women who refuse to take birth control since its bad for health. quit looking for excuses for men abandoning their offspring.

sex isn't a sport. it has real consequences. condoms don't always work. birth control doesn't always work. if you're planning on fucking everyday, don't be surprised if a baby pops out sooner or later.

entitled men would fuck all day , can't put their dicks away but then they ghost after any sign of responsibility shows up.

[shaysh87]

[I think it’s disgusting how women try to trap their man.]

if you can't put your dick away, you need to take responsibility over your own actions.

sex= baby making.

if you don't want a baby, don't have sex.

[Dorian451]

@Brittanyroseee the studies have shown, there are more deadbeat single moms, than deadbeat single dads.

[shaysh87]

@Dorian451

because its legal for men to walk away from their children. men use women for sex all the time and never end up taking responsibility

[Brittanyroseee]

Lmfao you are still ignoring the fact that women do trap men

[Brittanyroseee]

Oh i know contraceptive don’t always work. My point is, women will literally secretly stop taking it, to get pregnant ON PURPOSE by her man….

[shaysh87]

@Brittanyroseee

there is no such thing as sex all day and no baby.

if you want to have sex, you need to expect children.

[shaysh87]

plenty of guys use girls for sex then disappear when a baby comes up.

this itself is unethical.

you can't just enjoy sex but not care about the consequences.

i don't give a shit if she "trapped you". there is no such thing as "trapping you" if you can't get your dick out of her pussy.

[Brittanyroseee]

LMFAO. “There is no such thing as trapping” yes there is. Girls will literally stop taking birth control, or get their UID out without her boyfriend/husband knowing, so she can get pregnant 😂are you this dense?

[Brittanyroseee]

Girls use men for sex too😂😂😂it goes both ways how idiotic are you?

[Brittanyroseee]

“Don’t have sex then” ok go tell that to a married couple who has decided they NEVER want children. I bet you are pro fucking life

[Brittanyroseee]

You know what should be legal? Abortion should be fully legal in all 50 states and men shouldn’t be forced to pay child support.

[Brittanyroseee]

Again, there are cases of women getting pregnant on purpose to trap the man they are with. They will stop taking birth control unbeknownst to him. Stop denying the fact that females do this shit

[Brittanyroseee]

Such a dumb ignorant bitch you are😂

[Brittanyroseee]

Its the same as men poking a hole through the condom to get the girl pregnant. It goes both ways. Both genders do this…

[shaysh87]

@Brittanyroseee

you don't have the right to get free sex , stick your dick up a million pussies and expect no baby ok?

you sound like an entitled twat.

have sex a million times in your lifetime but expect no baby

doesn't work that way ok? entitled little brat?

[shaysh87]

real vaginas are not sex toys. it is a real vagina meant to pop out a baby.

[Brittanyroseee]

Im a woman. Im on birth control so I don’t get pregnant. I never want kids. If my birth control failed, it would be aborted just letting you know lol

[Brittanyroseee]

You are literally defending women who purposely quit taking birth control so they can get pregnant by their man…

[shaysh87]

it doesn't really matter if she does. because truth is, in marriage you're supposed to compromise with your spouse even if it means you lose what you want.

i was talking to my uber driver who was a 64 yr old senior citizen who said he and his wife are now retired and owned a very expensive home in new york city which was passed down from his wife's dead father. he desperately wanted to move down to florida to spend the rest of his life vacationing there. But his wife refused because she didn't want to sell the house her father gave her. it was the only memory that she had left of him.

he ended up compromising by giving up his dream to live in florida.

marriage is all about compromise. you both make decisions as a couple, not as 1 person

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

The question is about something, and you are talking about another thing.

[shaysh87]

@The_Shadow_Dweller

doesn't matter if you don't like it. when you are married to someone, you will need to come to a compromise.

[shaysh87]

@The_Shadow_Dweller

in marriage, you make decisions TOGETHER. Not individually.

if you want to make decisions individually, don't get married.

[shaysh87]

if your wife wants to live in texas but you want to live in nyc, you can't just tell your wife to live in tx while you run to new york for the rest of your lives. someone has to give up on what they want

[coachTanthony]

Well hopefully a compromise would be live in NYC and go to Florida for the winter if you're retired or can do that.

[shaysh87]

@coachTanthony

the plan was to sell the house for a million dollars so they can rent a property down in florida. its a more financially economical decision. Remember they are retirees, they do not have steady income.

[coachTanthony]

Keep the house and live in Florida for 3 months a year. Retirees living in a house that is already paid for should have enough money to do that I would imagine.

[shaysh87]

@coachTanthony

they didn't pay for it. it was his wife's dead father that bought the house.

its expensive to maintain a home in nyc and also pay 3 months rent a year in florida. not to mention the airfare, car rentals that they would need in florida. they don't have a steady income.

[coachTanthony]

You could rent the house out for a year still pay the mortgage and go travel at the very least. Many things you can do but sounds like to me it's all one sided. My way or the highway. hell you would probably make money on the deal. But whatever it is what it is.

[shaysh87]

@coachTanthony

not everyone feels comfortable renting their homes out. what if someone trashes their house? retirees do not have the income to refix their home. what if their things get stolen? retirees don't have the money to replace things as easily as you. if you have lived in a house for 50 years, you will have a very big attachment to that house.

[shaysh87]

renting out a house is a lot of work. you need to stay in new york to FIND people to live in your home! you can't just lay around in florida and have people coming in and out of your house turning it into a drug den. When renters leave, you need to find new people to live there.

its a job. you can't just be a million miles away

[shaysh87]

@coachTanthony

hiring a management company is expensive. the fees are high and take away a huge chunk of your profits. you will need to pay this high management fee even if there are no tenants living there. as a retiree, you're looking for stability, not more expenses or problems.

[shaysh87]

@coachTanthony

when you get old, you are looking for stability, not risky deals. if there's nobody living in your house in nyc, you still have to pay that expensive management fee, you're really just losing money in the long run. especially in nyc where rents are sky high and renters get evicted very often cuz its too expensive.

[shaysh87]

those people who do it all the time have the surplus income to do so.

how are you gonna pay 2000 in management fees per month when there is nobody living in your house? your social security income is 2500. your florida rent is = 1000 dollars.

you're losing money in the long run.

[shaysh87]

[If that is the case then no way are they capable of even selling the house in NY and finding something else in Florida.. ]

it sounds like you only care about what men want, never about what women want.

the explanation of why they won't sell the house was listed a long time ago. and i believe you have read it. you just don't care cuz its the wife's preference.

[shaysh87]

the price of management fees vary based on location. new york city is much more expensive than your tiny little town. rent here on average is 3000-5000 dollars split between 2 to 3 roommates. even with room-mating in nyc, it is 1000 dollars at the lowest.

how is an elderly couple WITH NO INCOME supposed to pay that monthly fee in months were there are no tenants? tenants in nyc get EVICTED all the time for not being able to pay the sky high rent

[shaysh87]

@coachTanthony

[coachTanthony]

@shaysh87 Chicago, Dallas and Miami are just as expensive nice try though. I know what I'm talking about. Like I said if you have no income and are sitting on a million dollars then sell the house and get some income. 2500 a month in SSI is not a very good living in NYC. They should stop worrying about some dumb house and sell it to make a better life for themselves. So forget his dream of living in Florida. Sell the house and move somewhere you can afford at this point.

[NamerOfStars]

I think it was California (but I might be wrong) that tried (possibly successfully) a few years ago to make removing a condom during sex a crime; if you're going to do THAT, you really need go both ways with it.

[coachTanthony]

hmmm interesting.

[midnightmoon05]

She shouldn’t. As far as I understand, marriages don’t/shouldn’t function that way. It causes mistrust and dysfunction…they are out there.

But I have heard more from those who said…the wife wants another and another. Or the husband wants more.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

No, she shouldn't. She needs to respect her husband and understand that he doesn't want any more babies. Doing so is against his limitations and boundaries.

[Kori1236]

No. But if he can’t trust his spouse why is he married to her? Follow up questions would be if he doesn’t want more kids why doesn’t he use protection or get a vasectomy? Tell his wife he doesn’t want to risk having more and then get a simple procedure done to circumvent having another child. Or simply putting on a condom

[coachTanthony]

Many couples just wing it. Not everyone goes to that extreme of getting a vasectomy.

[Kori1236]

Many do but your scenerio implies she’d go behind his back. So why doesn’t he take the responsibility of birth control if he doesn’t want more kids.

[coachTanthony]

When your wife has been on the pill and it's been working this long most men don't say stop taking the pill let me go get my nuts neutered. They just keep living, going to work etc. Only reason they would do that is if they did think their wife is a nut job and would do it on purpose.

[Kori1236]

Which is what your scenario implied. And technically a caring partner would understand the adverse effects that birth controls have on the female body; and would opt for the surgery vs putting her body through more unnecessary hormonal changes.

[coachTanthony]

That discussion needs to be had. I know many women who do just fine with the pill. If it's like what you are saying she needs to bring it up and they decide as a couple what to do next. No guy is going to just assume anything like that.

[Kori1236]

Yeah there’s a discussion involved obviously. Now it could be a my friend group/environment I was raised thing but when they’re done having kids he’s the one that steps up and offers that because he cares about the hormonal imbalance.

And just because many women do fine on it doesn’t mean it’s good for long term use and doesn’t ware on the body.

[coachTanthony]

Well if he is smart he gets snipped either way. Many women won't complain or choose not to mention the side effects to the guy. Guys don't know any of this so it's up to the woman to make sure he does so he can make a good decision. Most men who do know probably know because they have had the conversation many times over with their wife.

[Kori1236]

Or you know they’ve educated themselves on it to have a full understanding of what it does to the human body. And women don’t mention side effects or complain because they get shot down. I find it funny that men experienced the same side effects during the male birth control trials that women do but make birth control got the axe because they couldn’t handle the side effects.

[coachTanthony]

We don't want the side effects big difference. We can handle them just fine. Women can also say no if they experience side effects.

[Kori1236]

Yeah no many couldn’t handle the side effects. Hormonal imbalances, depression, suicidal thoughts, mania. No one wants side effects we’re just conditioned to accept them as part of life. So yeah men couldn’t handle the side effects the male birth control brought on. And yes women can say no to birth control, but then you’ve got the dudes that don’t want to wear a condom during sex; and then their consequence is no sex that they pout over or bitch about.

[coachTanthony]

LOL okay

[msc545]

that's really dishonest as hell and women do it all the time anyway. What's even worse is when they stop taking their birth control and they get pregnant by the guy that they're seeing on the side and try and pass it off as the husband's kid usually successfully. The husband gets to pay for another man's kid.

[electromagnetic]

Absolutely not.
That’s a massive recipe for disaster.
there’s always going to be a level of animosity.

[snowdropgarden]

Sounds like the worst idea ever.
She's being dishonest to her husband, is just as bad as a man taking off his condom during sex without her knowing.
She will end up ruining her marriage, her husband life, and the poor child who she has brought to the world.

[Sparkie460]

• That's deceitful, disrespectful, immoral, cruel, (I can go on and on) to make him get her pregnant without him knowing. He probably doesn't want the financial burden anymore. It costs a lot to raise a child.

[EmyyWolf]

He should leave her. That’s so manipulative. If I were that man I’d rather put up with paying child support than be forced to father yet another brat, because the c-nt says so. She can pop out more brats from other 🍆’s on her own. She can ruin her body more on her own.

F—K THATTTTT. 🖕

He already have overpopulation. He don’t need these insane c-nts bringing forth more brats for the man to pay for. They think money grows from trees.

[TenderFantasy]

If he doesn't want kids he could always cover up. That's what my ex did. These days, condoms are SOO thin, you could hardly feel that they are there!

And no, doing what you are suggesting would lead to resentment (obviously), but it may or may not be short lived because everyone thinks kids are cute, especially their own. And they don't STAY kids, they grow up fast! Who could ever regret making life? !

[D_Bone_Steak]

No that is dishonest. This is why we need to red pill more men before they become a victim of this kind of shit.

[exitseven]

Kids are a huge responsibility and they coat boatloads of cash. There is a tremendous investment in time as well. Some people like to raise their kids and then do something else with their lives.

[worldscolide]

Dishonesty is never acceptable.. Glad to see most people voted the same.

[coachTanthony]

It proves nothing. They downvoted you because they hate me. You must not know who I am lol

[worldscolide]

Oh I both know and respect you. If they hate you that's their failure.

[coachTanthony]

Trolls use to downvote my opinions now they are downvoting everyone on my post. Just an FYI

[worldscolide]

Lol nice. Well it's good to know I'm not the only one that attracts the ire of trolls.

[catiecatie]

It’s not just husband and wife is boyfriend and girlfriend too. I mean if you don’t want kids or more kids then wrap that thing.