Is it weird for a husband and wife to agree not to have children?

Question

Like they'd rather travel and see the world than be parents so they don't have kids.

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's weird. It all depends on your goals. I'm 40 now and I have one kid left to get to 18... I want nothing to do with kids. My wife is starting to drop the "baby rabies" whenever she gets around kids as well... using terms I use like 'screaming baby' when we get a grandchild pushed on us. She's a bit behind me in being certain that no child is just more enjoyable but I see her progression and mindstate and it's only about 5 years behind mine. I suppose if I married a younger woman and not the same age she'd probably be wanting to pump more kids out still.

My advice if you do not want children, have her get fixed. It's reversible if there is a mind change. Creampie all you want. But the most important part is some hormone isn't getting pumped into her that's going to affect her. Moody, no longer finds you attractive for no reason so begins to hen peck, weight gain... all issues you'll get with that hormonal stuff. If you're a beta-type male you might be fine (I'm not sure), but if you're the guy that's undeniable during ovulation like me... you know if you are because your friend's wives will go seductive mode on you during certain times of the month (don't be a dick and steal dude's chicks), well that magic will sort of being gone all of a sudden and it will all be changes in her and not you. That's just my anecdotal advice and I can't break the science down behind it. I have kids by different women, have been banging away since I was 15, and never had any issues making the panties drop... so spare me any feminist haterade if that's how you feel. It's just my opinion.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It is not weird, but it is not something I would want. My girlfriend and I have three and if she told me tomorrow that she was pregnant again you would not be able to wipe the smile off my face.

In fact, every now and then I'll tell her I want another baby. Then she acts the practical one and says that we have our hands full with three. (Currently ages, 9,8, and 6 - boy, boy, girl.)

Truth be told, I am totally in love with my girlfriend and our little family. (We don't want to be married.) I would not change a thing.

However, I won't lie. I see a couple with a new little baby - or even a woman expecting a baby - and I get wistful for the days when my children were just little babies and I would hold them in my arms and kiss them and play with them.

On top of all this, about three years ago I found out that I had a son with a woman that I had a one night stand with. I didn't really know her and she got pregnant, but opted not to tell me until he was 12 - he is now 14. (She tracked me down, told me, I got a test and yup - he is my son.)

You'd think that I would be upset. No doubt, I was a bit thrown at first, but he is a great kid, I love him with all my heart. My only regret is that I missed so much of his young life and now I am making up - with the full support of my girlfriend, the mother of my other three children - for lost time.

Bottom line, yup, men - at least this man - definitely gets baby fever.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

Why would that be weird? People have a choice if they want to be parents or not. If both are in full agreement, F what anyone else says or thinks.. what a husband and wife do in "their" marriage is their decision and their "business" and noone else's..

If people spent half the time and attention to their "own" marriages/relationships as they do "other" people's, maybe there'd be less breakups/divorce 🤷🏼‍♀️

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

No, that's relationship goals for some people actually!

As a sidenote, if y'all know any men like that, please send them my way: please and thank you 😊

Society needs to normalize that it's okay for couples NOT to have kids if they choose not to. It's not wrong to want to splurge on your partner... or pets for some, instead of kids.

Apple1996 · Answer

Not weird. It seems like the new trend now a days for couples to not have kids. I'm not personally for it but if other people want to be childless then go ahead

OlderAndWiser · Answer

It's not totally bizarre but I think many such couples will have regrets when it is too late.

Pinay_ako · Answer

That’s their choice. They know what they want. Good for them! While some people breed like crazy and don’t care about the outcome. If they’re able to provide love and support these kids! Not weird at all.

JustAnj · Answer

It doesn't bother me, my husband and I wanted to travel before kids but ended up having our first at 23 and 24.

I actually prefer it since my husband has grown a lot in the last 6 years.

We still plan to travel just doing it the traditional way. :)

Do you.

BlueScorpio · Answer

No. They both made a mutual agreement and know what each other want or expect out of their life together. It's better to know now then find out later that one does want kids but the other doesn't. Family members might feel is weird or sad though, especially if they want grandchildren.

menina · Answer

I see no problem with that. Not everyone was made to be a parent and people shouldn't be forced into having kids. I mean, if you want to be a parent, go ahead and try your best. But if you don't want to, don't do it.

Also it's better to discuss this topic before getting married. I've heard many stories of couples who split because they had different opinions on this.

Besides kids are a huge responsibility, not everyone wants to deal with that. Also some people aren't ready.

Rania05 · Answer

Honestly I secretly hope to be interfile or happen to marry someone who's, I don't want biological children. I love children but I just can't, it's a painful progress from pregnancy to 2 years after their birth before everything barely has the chance to return how it was before. I do adopt a child regardless whether I do change my mind but as 17-years old teenage I have fantasties about how a relationship followed by marriage would be but not pregnancy.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

It's a little weird for me, as when I think of married couples, I tend to assume that they will have kids, so it's less common. Nothing wrong with not having any though, I myself don't want any.

AviatorTom · Answer

No, that's not weird, some couples aren't interested in raising a family, and others recognize that they wouldn't be good at it, so why do it?

What would be weird is if one of the spouses wants kids and the other doesn't. That's a difficult situation that often ends badly for the relationship.

YollyM · Answer

It's not weird, I personally applaud it.
If a lot of couples and people in general were self aware enough to know if they were physically, emotionally, financially, mentally, and/or spiritually ready to have a kid life would be a bit better for everyone.

Fireguy17 · Answer

No, not at all.
I have friends that didn't want kids.
They just didn't feel the urge/need to have kids.
They enjoy their freedom to come and go as they pleased.
Plus the had the money to do what they wanted to do.
Raising a family isn't for everyone.

Kabluie · Answer

#Childfree is a thing. Girlfriend was exactly "you're not getting me pregnant, I'll abort if you do, and if you make me abort, you're getting snipped" lol

CNN ran a similar story the other day on a mother with five children on $100k salary feeling poor kind of things.

exitseven · Answer

Having kids is not for everyone. They are a huge responsibility and cost lots of cash. They can cost upwards of 300,000 dollars and that does not count college. It takes a lot of time and energy to do it right. Some people would rather drive around in new cars, have a sailboat and travel.

Guy13 · Answer

I find it to be different. 90% of the people I know want to have children. We are intelligently designed for that as well. It is aberrant to not want to have reproduction. Look at the 7 billion people on the Earth... Even those who can't have children will adopt to have a child. It is very odd to go into a relationship where both parties HONESTLY do not want to have kids. It is a matter of Science with some feelings overlaid.

dustybiker · Answer

No, not at all. I know a number of people who purposely choose not to bring children into this world, as they aren’t happy with the current, or future, outlook of said world.

loveslongnails · Answer

Why should that be weird? Kids aren't a "given" for everybody, married or otherwise. My SO and I are "dinks - Double Income, No Kids". We travel where we want, we don't live from paycheck to paycheck, and our lives don't revolve around diapers, feeding or soccer and hockey schedules. It's just not for us. Nothing weird about it.

Twalli · Answer

You don't need kids to have a full life. My girlfriend and I intend to live that way. If we decide to try kids, well adoption might work. They don't need to share our DNA. After all my girlfriend is her parents' daughter despite the fact she was adopted.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

Not weird at all. Many couples are childfree, and it's becoming increasingly popular.

I'm childfree and have been since I was 7 years old. Always known I didn't want kids.

I'll only date childfree people.

Haha456 · Answer

if they dont want kids, there is a good chance they won't make good parents anyway. We have enough fucked up parents in the world today already

Jenny-Marie · Answer

Not weird at all. We have one life, enjoy it. Kids aren't a possession, they are a lifelong commitment that not everyone wants. Having said that, I've never regretted my kids.

Amy10223 · Answer

It's their decision and no one else's, no matter how much people asy they are being "selfish".

Tina19 · Answer

I find it a normal decision there are people on this world who don't feel ready for such responsibility and they have the right to decide if they want kids or no

DizzyDesii · Answer

Hopefully they agreed on whether they want kids or not before even marrying. If they prefer to travel or get pets instead, thats on them.

Pizaz · Answer

Weird? No, how people want to form their relationship is up to them as long as it is consensual.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

No. While I'm not into traveling, I don't want kids, so I want a wife who also doesn't want them, and would rather spend time indoors gaming and being creative.

Blackcosmo · Answer

Their choice and I won't judge. I personally want kids.

AsaKyo · Answer

No, it's not weird  Like I've said a million times already, not everyone is cut out to be a parent

sunflower00 · Answer

Not weird at all, this is what I hope to do, for a while at least

ArrowheadSW · Answer

There are married couples like that. I wouldn't say that it is weird. To each their own.

VanguardTitan · Answer

That actually sounds amazing. Having kids is a lot of work and it does often hinder a lot of opportunities. So it's understandable that people would rather notbhave kids, I'm like that.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Not weird - it's just the typical opinion of an average consumerist.

SlothySlob · Answer

Depends from which point of view you view it. From a purely natural, biological point of view, it's madness. From societal, cultural perspective, it's "normal".

Mangospacho · Answer

Some people aren’t able to either physically or financially. It’s not weird. I understand it. Kids completely change your life.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No. Nothing wrong with that at all! The Earth needs more love and more relationships. And it also needs less people!

Avicenna · Answer

No, it's their life and their preferences. But I couldn't imagine life without my kids.

Hairylegs222 · Answer

Not weird, that's fine. Some people don't want kids. Me included.

Berethor · Answer

Not a great loss if they ugly, but not having children means a biological failure.

Anonymous · Answer

Not at all. It should be a new "normal". It is weird and dishonorable however to have kids when they cannot be provided for. I am childfree and anti-marriage.

Googlemyahoo · Answer

If they’re both suffering from an inheritable disease no.

sage2021 · Answer

Well, whose going to put them in the old folks home if they don't have any children?

TacosRAwesome · Answer

No. It's weird if they disagree and still become husband and wife.

Paul09 · Answer

What's the point of life if you can't live and enjoy it? Plus we have way too many humans anyways

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Yes, it's weird because that's not the usual. We as people are programmed by nature to have children.

richgentlem4n · Answer

It's not weird. I am part of the affluent community and I can attest that many couples here doesn't want kids too. But not for me

AimeeKyle · Answer

No. They are adults. Do whatever they want/agree upon.

HippieVeganJewslim · Answer

Pretty much. Noura and I don’t want to bear any children, and We’re both mad and I’m weird.

Anonymous · Answer

No? Why should the public care? It’s not any of their business anyways.

EaterPeter · Answer

What ever their dreams and values are if they can talk agree upon and follow up I don't see it as weird.

joeldalton · Answer

Sounds extremely selfish and they'll possibly regret their decision when it's too late to do anything about it.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

It’s not weird at all. Procreation is not everything in life. If that’s what they want out of life, they are free to do it.

Anonymous · Answer

Not at all. And people really shouldn't bully people into having kids, not everyone would be good parents.

Po1989 · Answer

Depends on the couple, it's nobody's decision but theirs. Although without kids, I suppose that's one less reason to bother signing a legal marriage contract.

dolemite89 · Answer

not weird at all that’s called good communication and common goals

Hinako00 · Answer

That's fine. We are 7 Billion + 🤣 we need a balance.

ODC2112 · Answer

As far as I'm concerned, a marriage without children makes no sense, it shouldn't even be considered marriage, but at most a civil union.

DevinAM · Answer

That seems increasingly common these days. I'd prefer to have at least two personally.

genesisbanks03 · Answer

No. It’s perfectly normal. Not having kids means maintaining freedom and energy

VforVindication · Answer

Yes because the whole point of a penis and a vagina is to reproduce.

petitedollbabee · Answer

Children isn’t for everyone. Good on them.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

If you don't want kids, why would a man EVER get married?

Is it weird for a husband and wife to agree not to have children?

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