How should you respond if your girlfriend/wife asks you if you think another woman is pretty?

[Anonymous]

Should you be honest or is that not a good idea?

[SteveSmith1985]

Oh I can definitely answer this one!

I stumbled on the solution when I was like 12 or 13... and it's proven to be the perfect way to handle this.

The first time your girlfriend asks you this, instead of answering her question about what you think of that specific girl... instead, you're gonna have a mini-talk about your relationship...

You basically, end up literally ASKING her what she expects you to do in these situations. you do it in a way that makes it so... she can't ever be upset by your answer. Here's how:

"Look, obviously each of us is going to still find other people attractive sometimes." She'll agree.

"I'm not willing to get into any stupid set-ups, where you ask me questions about finding other women attractive only to become upset, jelous, or insecure if I say that I do find another woman attractive. That's stupid, and I'm not willing to get into that."

"I'm not going to go around mentioning that I find some other woman attractive. That's disrespectful and unnecessary"

(I then throw-in that I don't need her mentioning to me that she finds some other dude attractive. Keep that shit to yourself).

"So, if you choose to ask me what I think about another woman, it can't be a 'set-up'. I'll answer your question. But I expect you not to be upset if my answer is "yes". If you would be upset by that, then don't ask a question you don't actually want answered."

That's a conversation that you have to have once. Then you're literally good for as long as you're together.

It's a reasonable position to take. How can she disagree with any of it? She can't. Doing so would be completely unreasonable and unjustifiable.

But it leave you in a position where either... she doesn't ask a question that's ultimately "a trap" (the whole problem with her asking this in the first place).

If she asks you. You can feel totally free to be honest with zero fear of catching any shit for it.

There are rarely "perfect solutions" to any relationship bullshit. This is pretty close though (for this... specific, minor, common dilemma).

.

[EmyyWolf]

If I were a man.
I think I’d tell the truth. This is what I’d say.

Yes, I thought she was pretty. But to me you’re prettier than anyone. That’s why I chose you. Otherwise I’d be with her right now, don’t you think?

There’s nothing more disgusting than a lying man. Say the truth. Even if it’s tough.
Say that you enjoy XXX sometimes, if you do. Say that you find some women attractive. Because attractive people are just that “attractive”. That it’s like looking at a pizza. But confirm to her that she’s the love of your life, and that she’s irreplaceable. You wouldn’t replace a 5-star healthy meal for a pizza.

You need to be open and honest. If you want to watch XXX with her, TELL HER.

If you want to have more sex with her, TELL HER.

If you want her to shed a few pound because she’s too big, YOU TELL HER.

If you want to try some new bedroom Activities, TELL HER.

Okay; she should be your safe place and you should be her’s.

She probably also finds BRAD PITT attractive like I do. Because attractive people are just that, “attractive”.

. They are arousing, doesn’t mean those people would WANT us back, or that we should even go for them at all…

I feel like this is the reason many men end up cheating, putting their partner at complete risk of STDs and diseases. That’s an act of hate towards their partner, in my opinion.

Men do this because these men don’t know how to open their Goddam mouth. 🤬They’re too afraid to express their desires with their partner who they love.

…

With me for example, I told my man, that I enjoyed watching XXX while he ate me out. We came to an agreement and now we do it to eachother every other day. I also said that I don’t mind him watching XXX that he can do it all he wants. I couldn’t go about my day without getting my needs met. I also desire daily sex specially while on my fertile window in my cycle. And when I’m on my moon-days, when I can’t have sex, our deal is that Id offer oral and male sex toys to please him , when my body can’t do it.

Also while he’s at work or he’s working overnights, we agreed that I can play with my dildos and my vibrators because he’s not there for me. Just like how I’m not there for him while im on my blood-days 🩸.

You have to come to agreements. You have to make deals. You have to be open and honest, of course within reason.

If my man says he wants a threesome, that ends the relationship to me, right tf there! cause that’s no longer a relationship to me. I’m not gonna be in any position to catch any sort of std or diseases. And I told him this, from the start.

I told him; “the moment I learn he’s cheating on me, I’m not even gonna say that it’s over, he’ll know it’s over ,, cause I’ll just disappear. Never to be heard of again. Not only that, but I’ll cheat immediately, with an ex, with a BBC, with my rich boss, with his friends or brothers. Don’t matter, but it’s happening. And I told him that it’s a promise. IT WOULD SIMPLY BE FAIR.

You have to be open and honest from the jump. You have to say harsh truths even if it hurts. You have to compromise sometimes. BUT WITHIN REASON.

If you want an open relationship, you say it. So it can move forward from there, or end right there. Don’t be a liar and sneak around, cause the truth always leaks into the light. It’s always discovered. This is something I learned on my own, because when I was 18 I used to be a cheater, and one of my boyfriends almost attracted me for it. But the truth always come out, one way or another.

I also told my man that I don’t exactly believe In marriage, that I think it’s a waste of money and for the government to be involved in your business, that I’m not into the idea of having kids or anything of that sort at least while in my 20’s. And we’ve been good ever since.

MY ADVICE IS; OPEN YOUR GODDAM MOUTH. WITHIN REASON. 🤬

[EmyyWolf]

My man also said he’d appreciate it if I’d work on my making my butt bigger, and I said I’d do everything in my power to make it so.
He didn’t say that it’s mandatory or necessary, but that he’d appreciate it. And that’s all I need to know. Just like how I appreciate when he keeps his arms large and beefy.
💪💪

[Sorrento-Sun]

Be honest. Because if the woman in question is noticeable attractive, then she'd probably assume you were lying if you said you found her unattractive. Then her focus would be on why you felt the need to lie to her. It would then spiral into a full-blown argument about you lying 😂

[Asker]

Yeah, I thought it would be easier. I just said yes. Lol

[Sorrento-Sun]

Safest bet... be honest 😂She could be testing to see if you'd lie to her.

[bigrook]

There's no question that you should just answer this straight-forward. There's no gamesmanship in this. If you took a good looking woman and she asked you for your opinion and you dishonestly said some baloney like "she's not all that" then she would either easily pick up on that lie, think somethings wrong with you, devalue your opinions on other things, or maybe think you might be gay (not saying there's anything wrong with that).

[Asker]

I was honest and said yes.

[bigrook]

And what was her response, reaction, follow-up?

[Asker]

She liked my honesty.

[bigrook]

There you go. Things can only go up from there.

[Changiis07]

If she's confident in herself she won't care that you're honest if she's the opposite I'd be careful with how you respond

[KrakenAttackin]

@Changiis07. If she is confident in herself she won't ask stupid questions like this.

[AviatorTom]

I give an honest answer. She may not like my answer, but that's what she gets for asking that kind of question, fishing for a compliment.

[Guy13]

Who Dhat? 🤔, what she looks like again?, “Other Girl”-Nahhhh ‼️

[blueonblack22]

It’s usually a shit test. Some women can ask that with a clear conscious but others say that out of insecurity. If she asks loaded questions like this often it’s a huge red flag

The proper response is “yeah she’s pretty but you’re hotter”.

[cryscrys1]

Yes another women and men out there is pretty
You can’t think you are the only specie in this earth who’s pretty ever for your husband or wife
They are with you for other reasons right? If it’s because you are pretty than that’s messed up as I said many people are pretty so they will break up with you if that’s the only reason they like you! Which is not ideal

[Isaack]

I would be insufferably analytical. Never giving a yes or no answer, I would pick apart every aspect of the person in question from an empirical view. So, if she looking to start a fight, I'll never give her the ammunition to to say the I thought someone else was pretty, because I wouldn't have ever stated my own opinion on the person being judged.

[DizzyDesii]

This is not the time to be honest. He should lie like fck or if he doesn't want to lie jusr simply say “Shes not you.” I’d never tell my dude if i found another dude hot. Its just disrespectful. I have forgotten at times when speaking of a celeb and that would make the dude mad so i can only imagine the rage if i complimented a nonceleb that i actually had a shot with

[21Cowboy21]

"she's not you" - 100% putting that in the playbook.

[DizzyDesii]

@21Cowboy21 😂😂😂 they used to make songs about guys saying that to the girl to keep her calm

[SnowedIn]

I'm honest -- but that's because my wife and I understand each other and have known each other for 26 years. Saying another woman is beautiful takes nothing away from my wife nor signals to her that I feel something's lacking or I'm "shopping". She calls men hot too, so we're in sync.

[Anonymous]

Is she being confrontational or is she Gad lighting? Is she in a bad mood over something completely else that’s bothering her and needing to vent indirectly?


I’d ask her why she’s asking and to check in to see how her day is going. She’s probably feeling not wanted by you.

[Asker]

What if she's a fan of the other woman?

[AdithyaR]

I'd be honest, if she's objectively pretty then yes i would say so. I'm not going to stay with someone who gets angry at me noticing someone pretty. Plus I'm a Kpop fan so i call a lot of guys and girls hot or pretty so I'm definitely gonna prefer a partner who thinks the same way.

[KittyKat90210]

Answer honestly, because she'll probably realize if you're lying. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to think another woman is pretty. It doesn't change the fact that you're with her, not that other woman.

[akidbyheart]

Agreed

[melanieeeB]

Well since you're asking I'm assuming your girlfriend is insecure... so I would just say answer with a desinteressiertes "mhm okay" but usually with a confident woman you can be honest cause it's nothing bad, there are plenty of beautiful people on this planet and well you're not blind lol

[D_Bone_Steak]

This is a common "shit test" (look that term up). There are different ways to pass shit tests... for this particular one, I'd pick the ugliest chick around and start telling her how damn sexy she is and what I want to do to her. She might get mad, but just keep going. Tell her all the nasty things you'd do to her. Just make shit up... now you just took her stupid shit test and turned it into a joke.

[Stressyalaire]

Say yes. Be honest. Turn her test for you into a test for her. If she is insecure and mad about you being honest for such a small thing, who knows what else you will clash over.

[bigrook]

100%

[NamerOfStars]

I've always made a point of being honest- I am what I am, I think what I think, and I believe what I believe. Women respect that, but not at the time.

On the up side, it keeps you from running out of things to argue about.

[Christsdisciple15]

I think it’s not at all disrespectful to acknowledge that someone else is conventionally attractive, but to actually specify your level of attraction to another person when you’re in a relationship is very weird

[RavVid]

A wife/girlfriend knows what type of girls you look at so dishonesty is not going to wash. But saying yes is risky.

If think it is best to respond with you like her top or shoes... possibly finishing with 'you'd look good in that'.

[smashleyy]

Depends on the women. If she’s insecure and you know she is it’s probably best to lie since it’ll likely end up being a fight. If she’s secure in herself you can be honest

[Chad345]

No big deal, honestly. She thinks that married couples never glance at someone else? Be honest. If she's not a hypocrite she'll be cool with it. Everyone will see other people they think are attractive, just in passing.

[TrueConfection]

I think it depends on your wife. My husband and I love to point out good looking people to eachother and we have fun with it. I have seen jealous wives use that as a trick question though.