I dont know how people can be in long term relationships?

Question

I mean its boring asf to stay w somebody that long

TenderFantasy · Accepted Answer

Lol, my parents are going to have their 47th wedding anniversary soon.

.. To be honest with you, I think it may just be tradition. I TRIED to find a guy to have something long term with but it never worked out. Maybe my parents were just lucky they found each other.

Some people stay for the kids. That's one big one, especially back then, but of course ya, these days, it's up in the air, if you know what I mean.

Some parents think that if they divorce, their children will suffer. Honestly, if my parents had divorced when I was a child, I honestly wouldn't have really cared. I was too immature (mentally and physically) to understand what was going on so I don't know why it's so popular for the media to paint a picture that it's so devastating. Some people just don't work well together that's all! Maybe the only thing they had in common was they both wanted kids!

Plus, do you really want to always be going on your first couple of dates with someone new? It's kind of nerve wracking as some people on here put it. I mean, yeah, it's exciting for sure, but as you grow up, like I said, since it is TRENDY, you're not going to find very many elligible bachelors/bachelorettes especially as you hit your 40's, 50's and older! They're all probably old, tired and worn down by bills, their ex-partner's custody demands, etc.

Also, the older you are, unfortunately, your health and your looks are going to take a toll, depending on your genes, the environment, what you've done to yourself in the past up until this point, etc. etc! So I mean, some people, they are just so lucky and know how to put on make-up and or make their 47 year old bodies look 17 or 27, but I am not sure if that is the majority. A lot of dating is physical attraction first and foremost. Then, when you're older, yes, you want to find a friend and stuff... so maybe, hopefully, people mature and realize that it's not all looks! but yes, looks count for a lot, I think, especially in the beginning.

Also, do you want your BODY COUNT to rise? I mean, hey that's on you, but I certainly care about my health and reputation!

But yes, ultimately, you do you. If you don't want something long-term, just make sure to tell your potential date. That way you don't wasted their time and yours! Good luck!

sheenagwapa · Accepted Answer

it's not for me because the linger the relationship the nore comfortable you are with the person and so you express yourself better and yoy also feel more love for the person it's like through the years your llove grows and you also find them more attractive because you noticed and gets to appreciate their facial features better

i think it gets boring when you entertain other people. whwn you didn't protect your feelings for your current partner. you get to know other people more intimately you didn't have any wall whatsoever because cheatinh starts in the heart

you think " ah this person is better than my current SO" but then the other person yoy are flirting with you are just stage 1 where everything is just exciting and you see bo flaws

men and women give their best foot forward early in the relationship that's why i like long term relationship you already tried and tested the oerson. familiarity is not boring it is peaceful where love grows deeper.

Pegases · Accepted Answer

Lol truly intimate relationships require a level of vulnerability that casual relationships do not. The main reason why some people prefer casual relationships, or find fulfilling relationships boring, is because they fear being vulnerable, which is almost always due to past trauma. Most people cope with their trauma by avoiding it entirely, and one of the main ways people today tend to cope with trauma, is by drowning it out through multiple casual encounters. The problem with running from your trauma in this way, instead of taking the time to heal, is that everything you do consistently, your brain rewires itself to make it easier for you to do. That's why when you do anything long enough, you eventually want to do it more, and by default you become better at doing it. So by choosing to run from from your trauma, and engaging in more and more casual encounters, you're effectivity training yourself to desire relationships that lack deeper levels of intimacy. Meanwhile as human beings, we are all hardwired to want deeper intimacy, and therein lies the internal conflict that most people encounter when they choose casual relationships for too long. When broken down to its core, "I find healthy relationships boring", most often just means that your capacity for relationships that extend beyond surface level things, has been affected by your decisions, your past, or in most cases a combination of both. That's why the age old saying "can't turn a hoe into a housewife" exists. It's all about the persons mindset. Seek Therapy, be well.

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

hahaha, this made me laugh. Well, luckily for you, there are no downsides to feeling the way that you do.

I strongly disagree with how you see it. But this is one of those situations where I feel no need to try and convince you.

Either, you'll continue to feel the way you do now. In which case, no problem. You're happy and content, and nobody is worse off.

Or, you'll find out first-hand how/why people can be in long term relationships... in which case you'll be happy and content... and also be in disbelief that you ever felt the way you feel now. Either way, you're all good! This made me laugh though.

It's kinda like someone who's never had an orgasm, saying: "I don't get why people like sex so much"... it's... hard not to smile, when you know.

kylee2437 · Answer

Hooking up with people that don’t really respect you is no fun in my opinion.

AviatorTom · Answer

It's only boring if you let it be boring. There are always things to do, together, or apart. And, sometimes, being bored for a short time is a good thing... less stress.

Avicenna · Answer

Not everyone is cut out for a long term relationship. But getting to know new people all the time can be a lot of work, whereas if you have a solid relationship, you have a greater level of comfort.

Guy13 · Answer

I hear ya…we all are Soooo Cranky

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Because you don’t know how to make it fun, interesting for long.
what you are showing are the temporary “fun/excitement” when that ends…you don’t know how to be with another person for real. Because it takes work, love, dedication, loyalty, appreciation etc…to make it last long. It’s deep!!! most young people don’t know what love is. That’s why you are saying this.

That’s who you are, who you attract. It’s that simple.

those who want/enjoy long term relationships that last long has to put work/effort into making it fun/exciting and appreciate each other.

burlen · Answer

It is possible for any relationship, including a long-term relationship, to become boring or routine. Relationships often go through ups and downs, and it's normal for the initial excitement to fade over time.

However, a relationship can also be reinvigorated and become exciting again through intentional effort and communication between partners. This could involve trying new things together, rekindling intimacy, or simply spending quality time together and being present in the moment.

It's important for both partners to communicate openly and honestly about their feelings and needs, and to work together to find ways to maintain a strong and fulfilling connection. If the boredom becomes persistent and affects the overall satisfaction in the relationship, it may be worth considering seeking the help of a therapist or counselor to explore the underlying issues and find solutions.

BlackBeauty90 · Answer

@malwins - I don't know how people can't be in long term relationships.

But then such people are usually shallow, fickle, dullwitted, drunkards, etc, and contribute little to relations. Not to mention typically don't have much respect for themselves or others. Ultimately they will never marry legitimately good people but be forced to settle with whoever will have them as few decent people would want them.

.

Ultimately however

The advantages of a long-term relationship far exceed those of causal.

With long term relationships you have a partner that you can be emotionally vulnerable with, you have someone who isn't just a cheap causal absolutely meaningless fling but who can be your friend and confidante.

Daniela1982 · Answer

For some people, it gets old when the sex gets old and boring. That is because they built a relationship on sex and not on true love. If you truly love a person, you will love them for the person behind the eyeballs, their personality and brain, not what lies below the neck. That is why some people clamber from one relationship to the next. Because they can not find peace and love. They seek material things, and not things of the heart. They seek sex, and not things of the soul and mind. They are like parasites. Suck your soul and heart dry, and then move on to the next.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

You are not wrong 🤷‍♂️ but at the same time you are right either. For some! They like to settle down and find all the boring kind of relaxing. And there is those whom don't want to settle down. The choice is yours, there is no need to debate this. Some love sushi, some hates sushi. People love rock music, some other hates rock, and so on. We are our own individual and we can be as different as we want. If you want a new relationship eveey now and then! Do it. You want one long ass term relationship! Go for it. Do what makes you feel happy.

Red-Blaze · Answer

Its about levels, no matter how deep you dig you always will find more layers you can love snd attracted to in someone, if you feel its stale rumble up stuff with something diffrent try to open a new can of worms and see how it changes
If it dose not stand its both side fault for aticking to a path that has a dead end when they can try a diffrent path with them

ChooChooHaha · Answer

I used to think like you. Then at 19, I met a guy. And he changed EVERYTHING. To invoke Coldplay: you haven't experienced the magic of someone else yet. ;-)

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Short term stuff you never really get to know the person. I prefer to get to know the person's dislikes/likes and who they are. It is nice to be with someone you totally relate to, also. A lot of short term relationships are often based on initial appearances, maybe sex and then you find out you have nothing in common whatsoever.

I would rather be with someone that I know I love than short term lust/love relationships, where once you get bored you move onto the next one.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Whose boring... you, or the other person? Maybe your mind is all wired for constant stimulation and change, like kids wired on video games. Maybe you need a constant dopamine hit to be happy. It's your life, and your choice. There's a huge buffet of eligible men in China...

melanieeeB · Answer

Well sometimes you meet someone and all is good and you don't get bored, even when you do "boring" things lol It's hard to explain I guess but their company is great and at it's nice getting to know someone better and better every time. I think it's similar with long lasting friendships.

But to each their own! If it's nothing for you, then that's totally fine 🙏🏼

SeriouslyFunny00 · Answer

I'd rather be called "boring", rather than passing myself to many people like a basketball.

Hannajenky · Answer

It’s boring as fuck to be used again and again by men who have no real respect for you. And to know that all of your hookup relationships are purely transactional and that the intimacy you believe you are experiencing is completely fake.

hookups are great if you don’t value friendship, intimacy, or actually spending time with people who actually care about you as a human being rather than a sexual object.

it’s not up for debate. But you do you.

genericname85 · Answer

well the questionis what do you want from a relationship? if you want excitement every day, go fu another guy every day. but at some point you won't be able to do that anymore and then you're stuck being alone. so make up your mind what you rather want. some choices in life are mutually exclusive.

aoihewgf · Answer

They definitely hard work. When I'm in relationship, i consistently put in the necessary effort but occasionally, I think back to how much easier being single was.

When I'm single longer than Id prefer, I long for relationship.

Guess I'm never content

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

It was the only thing I wanted for a long time. I'm just trying to enjoy my life, now and not worry about it, too much. Never been in a relationship and hook ups don't interest me. If that's your view, all the power to you. They're not for everyone.

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

Married 50 years and it has been anything but boring. It is difficult to describe running a marathon to someone sitting on the bleachers watching. So much of the challenge occurs during the process of staying together.

TrueConfection · Answer

It takes a long time to know a person and for them to know you. It's wonderful to have that comforting feeling of familiarity and sharing with the person who knows you best.

SnowedIn · Answer

And you know this from experience? I've been with my wife for 26 years and 4 months, with 23 of those years married. It has NEVER been boring. So, tell us your experience and how you know it's boring.

smashleyy · Answer

If relationships seem that dull to you it’s not a people issue it’s a you issue. rather that be fear of stillness/stability, issues with emotional intimacy, commitment phobe etc.

hismave · Answer

Nah it ain't boring, especially when the factor love is present. In actual terms you can't even get enough of this person. I was able to date my first boyfriend ( love) for a year and 10months. I loved the experience even if toward the end I was treated badly, I loved him so much not for his asset but for who he was. So when u genuinely love, respect, communicate and are loyal to one person you are actually bound to last long.

Onedayprobably · Answer

I think that people can be very different on this type of things. I guess some people needs at least 1 person with a stable position in their life if they need help or if they are sad. Having the same person on your side for many years have to create something more than "love" right? Maybe we can't understant it until we reach it and be part of these people...

KittyKat90210 · Answer

I see what you mean. After finding the person who you really click with and who makes you happy it won't get boring. That's what I'm hoping for, anyway

molonski2 · Answer

You are correct of course , extremely boring , people generally do it because they are scared , scared of being alone , scared of financials , like an " old pair of shoes " they just coast along.

CubsterShura · Answer

If you can't stay in one that just means it isn't for you. Maybe you need to find what kind of partnership helps you stay long-term with a partner if you really want it or if you're happy with short-term relationships then let it be.

Truthatanycost · Answer

It's only boring if you're not on the path of ascension. When you're on that path, you grow and become more interesting as time goes on and life becomes the same way too. You become an onion that doesn't stink.

menina · Answer

Some people are only happy in relationships. Or they find someone and they want to stay with that person for the rest of their lives. I don't see anything wrong with that, even though I've never been in a relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

It's only boring if you let it get boring. Two of the most exciting people I know have been in a relationship for over a decade... they travel the world, own a swingers club as well as a sex dungeon, and are very active in the local nightlife...

... as long as you don't get complacent, your relationship stays exciting.

Bricealan · Answer

Never easy. Just look around you at long marriages, or any living together couple.

I know what you mean, but don't have an answer. It is just a lot of work to keep any relationship interesting and stimulating.

KarinMcDonald · Answer

Well, it helps if both people are mature enough to open their relationship up just a little bit. Not full on swinging, but more of a one sided affair.

ariadneR · Answer

I mean that's cool and all, everyone's entitled to their opinion.

I tend to like having a steady relationship. There's a companionship that you don't have with everyone. And it's only boring if you make it boring

Deliciouscookies · Answer

Long-term relationships are built on effort, communication, and compromise, and offer security, comfort, and companionship for those who choose to make the investment.

Anemone978 · Answer

It's only boring if you have a boring partner... i don't under stand people who like casual relationships... they are annoying and disgusting...

Account · Answer

I dont understand how people can casually change partners often too, but that doesn't mean I judge it. It is just not for me.  I can barely stand my own self, let alone date multiple people.

summiter · Answer

I'll admit it takes work. Up until I got married at 29 I was afraid of LTRs. I just wanted no commitment (yes I had some FWBs) and I just wanted to have fun sexually with a lot of great women.

humanearth · Answer

I been with my wife longer then you been alive. Its not boring if you truly love each other. If you think long term relationships are boring. Maybe because you haven't found the right person yet

LazerBean · Answer

Some people are able to attract interning people and enjoy a stable life.

Pyrofox · Answer

Ya just learn to appreciate the comfort of not having to worry. In short appreciate the little things.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Well that’s your opinion one a lot of us don’t share. that aside it’s only boring if you let it be. Much like anything else in life you have to actually put in some effort and work.

Screenwriter · Answer

Could your feelings be that you haven't met someone interesting enough to be in such a relationship?

Sarahr123 · Answer

I agree. Women tend to get bored faster than men and it’s even faster when you have nothing in common or if the relationship is toxic.

Anonymous · Answer

Relationships is like a job full time job
Even when you have sex you have to direct the dick at your hole it needs some kind of a work right? it doesn’t just enter there like that
Nothing comes easily in life

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

It's rough to be in a long-term relationship, I've always wished for a girl who is for real, but them things never happen to me.

serious · Answer

It won't be boring for people who are highly compatible with one another and ones who are very good at communicating with one another.

Berethor · Answer

How can you tolerate yourself for so long? so you prefer a ho path over a good girl path?

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

How can you say that you've never had a long term relationship. Your not tired of hooking up with these random guys that don't have any respect for you. Relationship are what you make them if it's boring it's because your making it that way

Vaporvan · Answer

I don't get this at all. Why would you not want commitment and loyalty? I guess if you're not compatible with someone it could get boring but knowing you have someone with your values who will support you when you need them is great.

Hanrej · Answer

So open it up? I agree. Stagnation is boring... But it's safe. Keep a partner that wants both of you to develop and improve, make plans and help eachother but keep it open and you could have variation as well.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I can never get bored with my best friends. A boyfriend is like a best friend with more intimacy. It's notnboring if you find the right people.

abbyjgriffin98 · Answer

What exactly is the question? You either want to be in a relationship or you don't.

Anonymous · Answer

People can be in long term relationships and be happy because they are not like you. We are all different in some important ways and that's one of the differences.

BJP21 · Answer

When you're in a relationship for that long, your are not tied at the hip 24/7. You can have separate but equal interests. Long term relationships are also about understanding each other.

ChillaxingLove · Answer

Because you never experienced true love, and you won’t understand until you do.

elizamichale1 · Answer

Well not if u 2 can find wats to spice things up n keep it kinky

jshm2 · Answer

Only boring people get bored, dumbass. You're probably suffering ADHD or something.

annabananna · Answer

It’s not boring if you have fun together and develop more feelings g for each other as time goes on. Do you have long term friendships.

loveslongnails · Answer

I'm in an open relationship, so there's plenty of new people to meet. But my SO is definitely NOT boring! LOL

I dont know how people can be in long term relationships?

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