How do I get out of this shyness loop?

[clampfan101]

I’m shy and have no social skills.

1. I need social skills to not be shy.

2. I need to talk more to get social skills.

3. I need to not be shy to talk more.

It’s an endless loop. I don’t know what to do. I thought social sites would help with talking more, but they have not and my social skills lack just as much as they always have. Even art sites when I had the courage and motivation to draw. The more I fail and the longer this takes to fix, the more difficult it’s going to be.

Updates

+1 y

To those who say “just do it”, easier said than done! 😥 How exactly do I “force myself”?

[dynamicyandere]

It sounds like you may need to have a mindset shift.


Right now, you think that every time you fail, things are just becoming worse.


When in reality, every time you make an attempt, regardless of whether you deem something a success or failure, you’re gaining experience.


Every bit of experience counts and it adds up.


Getting better at social skills is like getting better at running a 5k.


In the beginning, you may not be able to complete it or maybe you complete it but it takes way more time than you anticipated.


Well, every day that you try again, you’ll get better.


Incrementally. Bit by bit. Every second that you spend running is going to help you run better.


And with social skills, every bit of practice counts and every bit of practice will help.


You just need to commit to putting in the practice and putting in the work.


Bit by bit, you’ll improve.


Simply attempting to socialize and putting in some practice, is a small win itself, because that’s a moment that you have chosen to overcome your fears. And with repetition, you can only get better.


You need to believe that.


Believe in yourself.


Adopt a growth mindset and KNOW that every bit of experience counts. Every bit of experience will help you improve.


Then, it’s just a matter to gaining more experience, day by day, no matter how little. As long as you keep going and don’t give up on yourself.


You got this. 💪

[jshm2]

By developing your communication and social skills.

That might sound like an "easy answer" as it's easy, but not simple.

Take a friend, family, relative you can talk easily with in person. You are going to be their new neurosis by constantly talking to them and asking them about everything.

Once you've got it down to a T (and they have not killed you) then you're taking that energy out into the world.

Won't happen in a day or month, but over a period of time.

[Adam1978]

Get proffessional in a skill, that will make it easy to talk about and join a club about that proffession. And now you gain both knowledge and social skills.

[RagnarRedbeard]

You have to force yourself to talk to people more. If you wait until you feel confident you never will be, because the only way to gain confidence is to do it more.

[jimmy2]

Just go and do