My baby father is mad at me... did I do anything wrong?

[Anonymous]

Im a full time mother of two kids... a two year old and a 4 month old. Me and the father are not living together... he lives 1 hour and 30 min away from us. My two year old had been getting into stuff and she's been having tantrums. I was on the phone with my kids father and I caught my two year old with a cap from the water bottle in her mouth. I took it out her mouth and she started yelling and crying. My kids father says," She doesn't cry when she's around me." I flipped out on him. Everytime she has a tantrum he gets upset with me because he think I'm doing something bad to her. Like I'm a bad mother. I broke down because I'm doing a lot by myself and I know I'm a good mother.

[Anonymous]

Ok so I’m not trying to put you down, I get that you’re trying hard cause I’ve seen a lot of single mothers working their asses off. But statistically kids tend to do better w the father when it comes to single parent households. I know I’m going to catch slack from this from other women but it’s true. A majority of men who end up in prison come from single parent households, usually raised by the mother. Which yes I can admit that maybe it was the deadbeat dad that left them. Girls tend to have more mental issues w out a father in the home. Again could be cause of the man leaving. At a certain point kids, especially boys aren’t scared of mom anymore. When I was smaller sure I got whooped, after a certain age it was like ok mom is just going to spank me, that’s it. Doesn’t sting like it used to. Now when she would say you wait till your father comes home boy we were scared. Not to mention you’re probably emotionally stressed out trying to do this on your own so it plays on the kids as well. Why may I ask is he living somewhere else? Why aren’t you two together?

[ShiftingMonke]

I would disregard his baited remarks. Going off on him wasn't the best idea, but your anger at his comment was justified.

[Anonymous]

Kids get into things and cry when you take them from them at that age... it is a natural thing as they form the concept of possession (mine vs yours) and the natural desire to acquire and possess things as a survival mechanism. Don't worry, her behavior sounds normal.

If, at that age, she never throws a tantrum because she gets everything she wants, then you'd be a bad mother. You're her mother, not her friend. It is important to learn that we don't always get our way. If he always give her her way, then he is doing her a disservice.

[Anonymous]

So in other words, the part-time father who doesn’t deal with the everyday stresses of raising children wants to criticize? You know what? You take that with a grain of salt and remind him he doesn’t know his ass from his elbow. Kids misbehave. They cry. They throw tantrums. That’s just how it is. It’s normal. He would know that if he was around. You’re a good mother no matter what he says. Next time, hold your head high and tell him to fuck off.