How do I meet a new partner when I have trouble relating to men on meetup activities?

[Anonymous]

[Pyrofox]

Just pick the most eccentric guy and take a shot chances are its like the hosts best friend who's the odd one out and who knows maybe you're the perfect one to offset their energy and things go well >w<

[andreasderjuengere]

It's a 'problem' on both ''sides'', I guess:

If 'you' want to find one good piece of gold, then you'll need to wash through tons of dirt.

Keep washing :)

[andreasderjuengere]

Thanks. And: good luck :)

[Guy13]

I had to force myself in those situations for many years until I got over my fears. It sounds like you may have to do the same. Repeat it and follow through over and over until it becomes second nature.

[Asker]

Yeah, it’s not really fear entirely. It’s largely difficulty relating to people who are totally different from me.

[Asker]

So how did you do eventually at it, Ben? Did you get more confident?

[Guy13]

I spent the first 18 years of my life being picture worthy but hating it... sometimes described as effeminate.. going for the back seat and never the front kind of thing. Mostly, I had a pushy Mom that would not allow but so much of that. It is still my tendency today... I don't think it ever goes away...
Environments where forced to interact with a lot of people is a good start.

[Asker]

I’ll try. My mum and dad.. well, were very protective. I’m very much like the character Sandy out of Grease in many ways, emotionally quite innocent (but I still laugh at men with my girl friends). I’m just now trying to figure out boundaries like when to sleep with a man you’re seeing and when to kiss them and who makes these moves and when. I went through my youth undiagnosed with Asperger’s so I was very vulnerable indeed.

[Asker]

So all the time I’ve known you, you’ve been a shy man? Interactions with women you like are hard for you?

[coachTanthony]

Hopefully you can relate to the activity itself. Start there. Meetups are supposed to give two people an easy win by both enjoying the activity and discussing it.

[Bethany22]

Ask questions to go beneath the surface

[Asker]

What kind?

[Bethany22]

ask what they like about the specific movies they watch, and why their favorite characters are their favorite and how they relate to them.

[Asker]

Okay I’ll try. Thanks 😊👍

[Avicenna]

Focus on Meeting guys you feel comfortable around

[Emiliamazing]

Maybe relating to others, is it fully necessary, you just have to show an interest in what makes them happy, and perhaps they will reciprocate. Showing an interest for others is good in a friendship or a romantic relationship. It's important. I'm not into rock, climbing or cycling, but my husband is. I know those activities make him happy, and I encourage him to participate. Likewise, he does the same for me and my hobbies.

[Chazmatazz269]

If by “meetup” you mean ‘Meetup. com’, that’s mostly on you for choosing the wrong groups. Another option is to read the room. Chances are pretty good you’re not the only one not digging the vibe. Find that dude and blow the popstand!

[RavVid]

In what way are men totally different that makes it hard for you to relate? There are lots of things that are not gender specific. Would help us to advise if you were more explicit on what you found difficult. Is it just having conversations with men?

[Fireguy17]

Why not try one or more of the better dating sites, the pay sites, not the hook up sites.
Like eHarmony, It's just lunch.
that way you can communicate for a while before you ever meet each other.
most, not all of the men on those sites are looking for a partner, not a hook up.
That way you move slower and can meet when you feel more comfortable.

[Ms_Facesitter]

What are those meetups usually like? What do you do?

[tedbuoyy]

Groping, kissing, sex

[Ms_Facesitter]

Asking her.

[Asker]

Bars for dinner.

[Ms_Facesitter]

I'm not really a bar person, myself. And if I do that it's only with one person. I don't like the big groups. Maybe it's the place? Maybe it's rushed? If I would go there I would probably go for a place to meet up that I actually enjoy. Something hobby related and then find one person and just kind of walk off with them and meet back up with the rest later.

[tedbuoyy]

I'm sorry

[Anonymous]

If ur exhausting yourself and not feeling the vibe, then don’t go. Spend more time improving yourself and establish boundaries in your life. If a man can’t do it then why even bother with one 🙏 find more female friends and go for coffee with them and chat and have movie nights. Guys obviously aren’t doing it for you

[es20490446e]

How do you usually talk with people in your daily life?

[Asker]

Via text.

[es20490446e]

[LiamJHayden]

Go to non-meetup activities that interest you. Can be things like museums, bird or whale watching. Take a painting or ballroom dancing class. whatever fits what you like. The extra advantage is that you know that the men have at least one similar interest with you.

[Jamie05rhs]

First of all, you're automatically going to have trouble relating to men. Because men are different.

But you have to keep going to more meetups and spending more time with them to get to know them better. (If you're both the quiet types, this is going to take a bit longer. So just be patient.)

[ThomasDavid1989]

Common places you go. While I'm not saying church is the greatest place to meet a man, more so for the ethical and moral reasons, you're still both going to church, right? Isn't that the point, you SHARE THAT INTEREST

I don't know you, I was just giving an example, for any "Christians" who like to claim they're "religious" out there

[prensesmishka]

I don’t do online dating. Maybe meet at a friends gathering. It’s all up to life.

[SCARRED]

I'M A GUY

with q disability

and might have rhe same problem

I've got add and a learning disability

the hidden social cues

or the scuffle ones

thanks SCARRED

[Pacquet]

Are these activities you like to do? You might be putting too much pressure on yourself to facilitate a connection. Don’t focus on the men part, we’re all human, just try to have a good time with the activity you’re doing first.

[ArrowheadSW]

Keep spending time socializing at the events. Eventually you'll become more comfortable with it.

[TheSpaceGnome]

This is why I don't use meetup, all the activities I like either have no women at all, or none in my age group, and the rare exception is never attractive.

[Anonymous]

You have to step out of your comfort zone to make things happen.

[Allday4]

If you have trouble that means you are nervous and don’t know how to speak or strike conversation. It also can mean they aren’t right for you. It’s all natural.

[ready2answer]

It seems to me that they're the wrong men or wrong activities. I think people you should be as varied in your activities as you can to meet as wide a range of people as you can. The right guy will be easier to relate to.

[Luckycharms12]

There is always some common ground like music and go from there

[Djzennify]

Don’t meet anyone just stay holed up in your room

[boobliker]

talk to real people out in the real world like in a shop1

[krin_m]

Be yourself and enjoy the interaction without any initial expectations! Be prepared for a lot of interaction before you find the right person!

[Anonymous]

Why do you have trouble relating?

[Asker]

Everyone seems to like the bar scene and drinking. I don’t drink, I don’t like noise and I don’t understand career people.

[Opinion Owner]

On meetup. com you pick the activities you like. It could be hiking or even photography. Just make sure to join groups with a lot of members in it. Don't join basket weaving with only 3 members. Some groups just like to go to different restaurants and talk. If you're shy, you can overcome that with practice. If you see someone with a dog, ask them what kind it is. They will love it, and you will get in some practice.

[lottiebannotie]

Go to church apparently

[Sunssong]

What are you into to?

[007kingifrit]

you could try speed dating

[Iron_Man]

Take it slowly one day at a time

[gorydetails]

I don't know, what's your issue?

[Bklynbadboy12]

Don't worry guys will come up to you

[mikazuki991]

Check this out

[Tonyblony5150]

You will figure it out when you want it bad enough

[Anonymous]

Find people online and text with them.

[Anonymous]

Good question

[Gamer20]

Just go for it

[JohnK123]

Meet me LMAO

[In_Trance]

That's a dilemma