Guys, Boyfriend started acting mean because I make more money. What to do?

[Anonymous]

Finished school got a good job. He started acting insecure and mean. Saying he sometimes wishes I was a housewife. Is he really intimidated by a slight raise? What do I say?

[MrOracle]

Clearly, he's insecure. But understand why he is: men are programmed to be providers and protectors, and a lot of men feel emasculated if their girl out-earns them. That part isn't your fault, and it's not your burden to learn how to get over it. It's not okay for him to treat you badly because of it either.

Having said that, some women in this situation (where they out-earn their man) start to try to take over the relationship, or may belittle the man because he's making less. I have no way of knowing if you do that, and I'm not saying that you are or you have - but IF you've done this, know that it only escalates the insecurity (and usually the bad behavior) from the man - and that part WOULD be your fault if it applies to you.

My recommendation for handling this is to be supportive of him. Tell him that you believe in his future, and that you're pretty sure it won't be long before he's out-earning you, and that the money you are earning is to improve your future together. If he needs help getting a raise or finding a better job, and you can help him, do that. But most of all, let him know that you believe in his future success. Help restore his confidence in himself. He's probably never had anyone do that, and it might make him a little uncomfortable at first, but keep at it, and soon his attitude will change, and he'll regain his confidence, and if he knows you've been in his corner the whole time, it will really strengthen your relationship.

I get that you might feel like he doesn't deserve that since he's been acting mean, but look below the surface at WHY - and then help him out. That's what you'd want him to do for you, right?

[Guy13]

Chill out and let him come to terms with it. Do not overreact and let it go. He will come around and get use to it unless you make an issue out of his insecurity.

[BradBoy]

I'd give him a little time to get over it and avoid that topic but if he keeps bringing it up, you gotta tell him to stop taking his problem out on you and if he can't, sounds like you need a different guy.

[Iron_Man]

That’s really stupid because you guys could pull your money together and have a nice house one day

[Iron_Man]

Like my friend, he never traveled his whole life now he’s doing a lot of traveling him and his wife both work

[In_Trance]

Stfu about how much money you make when you're near him