"Sometimes I overapologize for things I didn't do." agree or disagree?

[Still-alive]

Over-apologizing refers to saying “I’m sorry” when you don’t need to. This could be when you haven’t done anything wrong or you’re taking responsibility for someone else’s mistake or a problem that you didn’t cause or control.

I strongly agree

i agree

I disagree

I strongly agree

[nitsuj86]

Just a reflex at this point mostly. When someone is mad at me, and I feel bad, I will say I'm sorry.

I've had people tell me that they don't like it because I just keep doing it and saying sorry, but some things I just can't help. I have ADD and terrible at remembering / paying attention at times. I know this and I feel bad, but it's almost impossible for me to change it completely. I can try harder, but it's always gonna happen. All I can do is say sorry so I don't seem like a huge asshole who just doesn't give a fuck, because I do.

I get it, but I'd rather someone over apologize, then to just never admit they are wrong. Which is what I run into more often with women I am dating. I've dated quite a bit, I think I've heard it from like 2 women. And I could probably count on one hand the amount of times.

[SnowedIn]

Complicated? I selected "agree" because it's possibly closest to the right answer. So, I won't apologize for something I didn't do or is legit not my fault. But, on the other hand, I'll sometimes apologize (over apologize) if I think I might have offended that person things like that.

[TenderFantasy]

Sometimes for me, when I am maybe embarrased or in a hurry or I wanna appear nice, it becomes a habit.

Sometimes, when I am about to say no to something, it's like a kind way of saying it? To lessen the guilt? I don't know. Good question! I am at times shy with strangers and the public but I do try to catch myself. I don't really care though. I don't know. Maybe I should lessen it lol. But yeah. Hard question to answer!

[Still-alive]

You have a hard time saying no i take it? I think you feel like if you say no you may feel like it’ll hurt their feelings. I think a ‘no thank you’ would be a better way to say it personally. What do you think of that instead?

[Apulu_Imback]

I used to be like this when I was new in this site. I was that nerdy girl who was afraid of any opposition or hate. This site made me quite confident. Before I used to end any opinion of mine with 'I am sorry if I offended your thoughts anyway! Thanks for reading my opinion!'.

[Still-alive]

Well great. Glad this site could help you there :)

[Apulu_Imback]

Yes it did!

[Potteplante]

Neither disagree nor agree.

I grew up apologizing for everything, to try and minimize the anger around me - things from your childhood can stick annoyingly well into adulthood. If I get stressed or overwhelmed and not able to deal with it properly - I go back to my old patterns, which includes apologising for everything.

[Still-alive]

So.. you do agree then lol…

[melanieeeB]

I disagree now, I don't say sorry often but I used to be the person saying sorry for everything.
You walked into me? Sorry, You were annoyed at my breathing? Sorry, Nothing happened? Sorry, I made a good joke? Sorry... lol It was really awful and I realized it with my first ex and then made a challenge to not say sorry! Now I'm cured!

[Still-alive]

congrats! *applauds*

[menina]

Unfortunately I make this mistake often. It's something I can't avoid. 😕

But these tips were very useful, so I'll keep them in mind. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Still-alive]

Yes these questions are all related to this thing called ‘attachment theory’ and peoples answers to them can reveal which attachment styles they have. Its interesting

[menina]

I didn't know that, but yes it's interesting.

[Blackcosmo]

I always over apologize because I feel like I'm always going to do something wrong and make people hate me. My parents can be harsh especially my mom so I've sort of grown up apologizing for small things and hating myself for making mistakes.

[TrueConfection]

I think it's really has more to do with the perception of the individual receiving the apology. Did they feel it was necessary?

I was thinking about posting a question similar to this one.

[OfMiceandMen]

I think some people are geared that way, they don't want to rock the boat.

For me, I apologize when it is necessary, however, I tend to think about what I am saying to make sure I am not saying anything I need to apologize for.

[Justasking205]

I've been going through this exact issue my Husband keeps telling me it drives him crazy bc I'm always apologizing for everything even if it's not my fault it's just I've been the blame so much in my past relationship that it's a habit bc it used to be easier than fighting with him!

[itsalyssaagain]

I’ve noticed this as a trait in some people but I don’t have it at all

[Still-alive]

its usually something anxious attached people do. its typically people pleasing behavior.

[TenderFantasy]

"its usually something anxious attached people do. its typically people pleasing behavior." I think it would depend. Maybe I AM a people pleaser! I like to keep the peace and I don't like hurting people's feelings generally. It's not really because of anything else, at least I don't think it is. I think I care too much about feeling guilty that I hurt someone. Maybe I am a highly sensitive person!

[Still-alive]

@TenderFantasy i can seee you dont like to hurt anyone but you wanna be sure you’re apologizing for something you actually did. Over apologizing is about doing it because of something someone else did or that truly needs no apology at all.

Like for instance lets say you had a family member say something really racist to someone in your presence. Over apologizing would be when you apologize to that person instead of the actual person being racist apologizing.

[Still-alive]

@TenderFantasy this is a good link about why over apologizing can be an issue: www.livewellwithsharonmartin.com/.../

[itsalyssaagain]

Yeah I think it could be an attachment issue.

For me I don’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings too and I try my best not to. If I do something wrong I will take accountability and I will apologise. But I don’t feel the need to apologise over and over again. Or if someone won’t believe my true intentions etc I will move on. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone how they perceive it is their problem. As long as I’ve taken accountability and apologised I’m content

[LiamJHayden]

No, I don't. I own up when I am at fault, but that's it.

[Lucy68]

I over apologize mostly

[rosemilk]

nah, i don't have the energy for that

[SlothySlob]

I'm sorry, I'm not Canadian.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Yeah, I do.