Have you ever been in a one sided relationship where you was always giving it your all every single day and was always the one who was reaching out?

[TrillXHippy]

[dynamicyandere]

Yes. In 3 relationships.


One was 2 years, one was 3 years, one was 4 years.


I don’t participate in those anymore.


I’ve learned the hard way that it’s important that the relationship is sustainable.


Unless you can hold on forever, to hold things together forever, and you are willing to do that for the relationship, indefinitely… It’s not worth it.


Because time and time again I found myself burnt out.


When you try to fix a relationship for YEARS and they won’t budge.


When your emotional needs are not met for YEARS, you will eventually feel like all the life inside of you has been drained out.


That roaring flame you once had will eventually go out due to the constant pouring of rain, month after month, year after year.


But you hope right? You try to be optimistic and positive because you are this person’s source of happiness. Making them happy makes you feel happy, but you’re a human too. And you have your own needs to.


When your needs are ignored, dismissed, swept under the rug. But, you’re pouring your heart and soul into the relationship, you can only do that for so long.


Eventually, you can’t hold on any longer.


It will end. Unless they are willing to put in effort too.


That’s why, now, sustainability is a non-negotiable for me.


I’m not afraid of putting a ton of effort in and overcoming challenges.


But if they aren’t able to return the bare minimum I need to continue on…


They need a therapist, not a girlfriend or boyfriend.

[TrillXHippy]

Multiple one sided relationships really does suck man

[dynamicyandere]

Yeah, for sure. I kept on giving second chances and hoping for the best and being optimistic and giving the benefit of the doubt. But, that should be reserved for select people.

Givers should pair with other givers.

When a giver pairs with a taker, it’ll be a painful road.

[dynamicyandere]

A song that really resonated with me when it comes to these relationships is Disease by Smile Empty Soul.

I listened to it as a song about putting someone else’s needs before your own, to do everything you can to be there for them and heal them, protect them, and comfort them.

But, your own needs are being so neglected that it feels like you’re bleeding out.

And, it’s easy to turn to alcohol when your partner is so emotionally unavailable, but you’re doing everything you can to help lift them up while you’re drowning.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

No, closest I've been is one sided friendships. I guess to many people I was just a convenience, whether it be that I was available or a walking ATM.

[definitelyNotHer]

I just got out of a long term relationship about a week ago, I would say it was completely one sided but I was definitely putting in more effort. After the honeymoon stage he just fell off and really didn't care and it was mainly me trying to make plans and it was me who was initiating things. No relationship is ever 50/50, sometimes one person can't give it their all at the moment and it's 70/30 but you always make up for it later by showing your partner that you do care and are in it. If the relationship is completely one sided, either communicate with them your feelings or consider ending the relationship.

[TrillXHippy]

Yes communication is key

[laurlaur101]

Definitely is no one knows how to talk anymore I think bc they’re mostly afraid how the person will react but so what the truth is the truth. It’s better to hear the truth than wonder what’s going on and in a lie

[definitelyNotHer]

@laurlaur101 exactly. My ex lied to me for months about how his feelings for me and that hurt more than if he had just told me that he was losing feelings. Always be open and commutative with your partner about your feelings and always be honest about your feelings.

[Sorrento-Sun]

Yeah.. it was very painful because I loved him and wanted the relationship to last. It totally drained me over time. It had a terrible effect on my mental and emotional state.

I'd never put myself in that situation again. If the relationship becomes one-sided and I'm the only one making an effort , then i'm done and gone.

I keep this quote in mind now 'there comes a time when you have to stop swimming oceans for someone who wouldn't even jump a puddle for you'.

[TrillXHippy]

I love that you would never put yourself in that situation again because it hurts. That’s a great quote

[Sorrento-Sun]

I have so much love to give but I'll never give it to the wrong person again. It's so painful when you're giving you're all, but you don't feel loved or wanted yourself.

[TrillXHippy]

Hopefully that someone you date will be the right one who will give you their all, make you feel loved and wanted. Which is how it should be forever

[Sorrento-Sun]

Thank you

[Sorrento-Sun]

Thank you for the MHO

[TrillXHippy]

No problem

[DizzyDesii]

Never at the start but towards the last month, usually one or both start to feel its become that and thats when its time to breakup. I've definitely gone through this at least once

[TrillXHippy]

Like it just happened once in your entire life with one guy you were dating?

[DizzyDesii]

In terms of being in a relationship, yes off the top of my head. But usually its not until the last month or two when you feel things have become unfixable. Now outside of a relationship, i have fallen for a friend and it couldve been one sided but i’ll never truly know unless i ask

[TrillXHippy]

Oh okay I gotcha. Hopefully with your friend that’s not the case if you ever do ask

[DizzyDesii]

Its been 20 years. I prob ain't gone ask 🤣

[Juicyred921]

Yes. And it’s exhausting. Always giving and never receiving.

[TrillXHippy]

Really sorry to hear that and it can be very exhausting

[Juicyred921]

Especially when the person keeps giving you hope that things will change but they don’t.

[TrillXHippy]

I understand what you mean

[NathanDavis]

nope...

and that's not a relationship... that's a situationship in which you would have to get out of ship... not worth

[TrillXHippy]

That’s fair enough

[exitseven]

Yes, I had a relationship with somebody for 4 years. # of these years were long distance. This was before email and video conferencing. She put very little effort in the relationship.

[TrillXHippy]

It’s great that it ended

[tonamimargaux]

Yeah I don’t understand why do I always end up being the one to give the most in all of my relationships

[belle_kai]

Towards the very end of the relationship yes. Looking back and what I know now I would have cut it off sooner but that was my first relationship. You live and you learn

[DollAlone]

Every day presently

[TrillXHippy]

Well that’s not cool