Guys: For the sake of your well being, would you avoid getting too used to a girlfriend being truly yours?

[Anonymous]

I like to think a girlfriend is temporary even if I have permanent intentions. As men we never know the girls intentions and whether they are subject to change. Today's forever can mean the end of it X time later.

What's the point of not considering a girlfriend to be yours truly forever and ever? No surprises and setbacks. There is a reason I intend to listen to LMFAO Party Rock Athem, not Juice WRLD all girls are the same.

Can't tell them about it. They will be upset I guarantee it. They won't understand, that as men we are on our own ⚠ and therefore it serves as a protective mechanism. These are some of the darker things some men are actively not telling women.

There is a saying "She's not really yours. It's just your turn now".

Story Time: One time I used to have a "girlfriend", who claimed I was hers and all that mushy stuff about being together. But then she ghosted me completely and most likely cheated on me too. Eventually I got over it 100% but the price of such surprises is too high for me to risk once more. It's been 5 years.

Never again. I can't. Simple as that.

yes

sometimes

no

other

[TruthBringer]

Yes. Never put your guard down as a man.

It's always best not to get too comfortable in a relationship as a man. Women are highly emotional beings. Their emotions dictate their actions and how they perceive reality. Today she may love you, but tomorrow she may not.

I am in a relationship for some years now, and despite that, I always make sure I do not lose that touch what made her feel attracted to me, in the first place. I also make sure to put her in her place when she starts to get too comfortable herself and starts to seek the boundaries.

As a man, you should NEVER go too deep with your feelings. Once you do, they will start losing interest in you. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be affectionate, but you shouldn't throw out your heart at them either. Women need a challenge to remain interested. And having them in a constant MILD anxiety is funny enough what keeps them around.

Ever wondered why they get with guys who treat them like shit? Nowadays every female claims to have been in a relationship with a "narcissist". This goes to show that women don't feel attracted to men who are honest and loving, but rather seek out the thrill of a bad boy who is mainly concerned about himself. They see him as a challenge.

So enjoy your relationship, but always be ready for when it suddenly ends.

[Asker]

How sad. The worst part about it is that they're doing this not just to us but to themselves too.

[TruthBringer]

@Asker Indeed. That's the sad part about it. They are dictated by their feelings far more than men are. That's what separates them from us. Men are generally known to be rational thinkers. If we weren't, then mankind wouldn't have come so far when it comes to civilization and technology.

It's by no surprise that women often regret their decisions after they sabotaged the relationship with a good man. Both my exes I can 100% guarantee regret what they have lost. One chose to try and rekindle the fire but I ignored her, the other didn't even try at all because she knows I would reject her on the spot.

As a man, the best thing you do can is make sure to be always independent and always be grinding in life. Always see a woman as an add-on, not a part of yourself. And never give too much affection than necessary. There is a reason why they are attracted to the 'bad boy' type. Because they are stoic.

[Asker]

Crazy women man.
It's like offering to help but they bite instead.
Oh Well. It's not my problem fortunately. They want to sabotage relationships, they can do so without me and enjoy the consequences themselves.

[TruthBringer]

@Asker It shouldn't stop you from trying, although that's entirely up to you. You can still enjoy and build a relationship with a woman. The right woman that is. In my personal experience and from my observation, it is best to find someone who is leaning more to the traditional and conservative side. Regardless of how you think of religion, you want to find someone who is God-fearing. There is no guarantee for success, but the odds of success are much higher than going with a non-believing woman. Because a non-believing woman wouldn't think twice of the consequences of her actions.

Being in a relationship with the right person can bring much more joy and fun to life. The biggest challenge is in finding one. And when you found one, the search would be worth it. It's easy to quit altogether. It's more challenging and fulfilling to try your luck and eventually succeed too.

I've had a couple of failed/bad relationships. I didn't let those stop me from finding a much better woman and I did.

[Asker]

No, i definetly don't want traditional relationships and especially the ones with religious nonsense involved. I rather be self made.

[TruthBringer]

@Asker You are very free to choose your path in life. All best to you, mate

[EricSummer]

I know that a relationship is not necessarily forever, but for me it should still feel as if it is. Otherwise I'm not in it with my heart.
When I was young I was honestly looking for a woman to marry and have children with, even though I did not say that too early, of course.
Eventually, this worked out and we were together for 20 years and had two kids, yet it was not forever, looking back.
With my current girlfriend it again feels like we could be together for the rest of my life (or hers, but statistically mine). This time it could be true.

[Moist_Gums]

I believe that you sort of manifest whatever you think of over and over again. Whether that be energetically or just because you're training your subconscious to be in that state.

So if you constantly see a girlfriend as temporary the idea of it ever being permanent doesn't seem likely. You'll like never do whats needed for ut to get serious. For example, say you always move to a new school every year. Your mind won't let you really lay roots or dive too far into what the schools have to offer. Thus, limiting your potential to master your craft in a particular area. You're in a nomad kind of state.

Love regardless is a risk and if you're too afraid to allow things to get deep and go all in. You're never really going to succeed in it because thats the point. I personally feel like the dating phase is temporary. However, if I call a man my boyfriend he's done enought to be in position to become permanent if things keep going well cause I'm trying to get a husband/soulmate out of it. But to each their own I suppose

[MissStrawberry912]

You’re hurt. I’m hurt too, and so I usually have my guards up. However, a loving, healthy long-term relationships mean investing your time and commitment in hoping/building for forever…

we either let fear get a hold of us; or we take a leap of faith with someone who we wanna try opening our heart and trust to. Trust & dedication is going to be a continuation to build throughout the relationship.

hope you let yourself heal, and so you can be open. I heard from someone some where who has said it’s better to love than not at all.. and I couldn’t agree more. To love and to believe in a lifetime with someone would be really sad to throw something like that away.

Don’t let one person ruined a beautiful love you can have with someone amazing.

[OlderAndWiser]

You will reap what you sew. Google the Rosenthal- or expectancy-effect.

[Avicenna]

Well, what I would advise guys to avoid is joining your finances with their girlfriends, and especially taking responsibility for their debts.

[Ninania]

People aren't possessions to be owned. Early promises should never be trusted if they aren't backed up with action. People will say anything for short-term attention, that's why it's better to date slow and be aware of patterns in their behaviour. That's how you spot red flags.

[Anonymous]

Spot on. I say this to any man. Never get too comfortable with any woman. She ALWAYS one head goblin away from pulling up stakes and moving on. I'm not saying you can't have a relationship. I'm not saying you can't love her. But always consider he as a contract that has fine print that you never get to read and will present you with a clause that nullifies the deal at any moment.😆😆😆

Love her, but always be prepared for her to end it for whatever reason at the drop of a hat. Do this, and you're ready for a relationship with a woman. 😆😆😆

[Lynx122]

It depends, most women just want attention and don't care about you but there are exceptions and you can feel the difference when someone truly cares about you. It's just very rare for a lot of guys. In general it is better to be more reserved and sceptical I think but you also can't just avoid socialising completely so you have to find your own balance and decide when to take a risk.

[Dargil]

The Tao tells us to Trust, but to expect the unexpected. That way, my wellbeing is not threatened.

[art84]

My brother and his girlfriend were together for like 7 years and they had their times where his girlfriend left then came back wanting to start over. She cheated on him like twice while they had two little sons (3/5) at the time. I do agree with "She's not really yours, its just your turn now". Unless your married and that person stays with you till the very no matter what happens in life, the good times and bad times.

[Jamie05rhs]

A girlfriend ISN'T yours forever! You have to make her a wife if you want that. Work to earn her hand in marriage.

[TruthBringer]

Even wives can leave eventually. Last time I checked, statistics show that at least 70% of divorces are initiated by women. This goes to show that you are NEVER 'safe' as a man when it comes to relationships. Getting too comfortable in a relationship is always a disaster waiting to happen at some point.

[Jamie05rhs]

@TruthBringer That's why a lot of men are refusing to get married these days.

[Juxtapose]

Unless your woman is really into you and really committed to staying with you, it's a constant battle to maintain her interest. Most relationships will not last but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try at least.

[musicbrain5]

The easy solution is just not to bother with dating at all.

[Asker]

unless we want a girlfriend

[musicbrain5]

But the question is why even bother putting in all that work of commitment, when you’re sure that you’re not going to get the same in return? It’s impossible to have “permanent intentions” if your attitude about each relationship is defeatist right off the bat. I would say the same to a woman who has this attitude as well, that boyfriends aren’t truly hers.

[FifiJones]

That's paranoid, like 'I won't eat in case I get hungry'.

[LiamJHayden]

That attitude usually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sure, most relationships end short of lifetime marriage, but assuming each one is doomed is defeatist.

[FilmGuy93]

I avoid getting too comfortable in romantic entanglements, if that's what you mean? I don't take situations for granted, ever.

[Sasha0426]

If you feel that way, then there’s no point in having a relationship. Just date and have sex casually.

[Jltakk]

Maybe its because I've never had a partner, but I just don't see myself ever getting tired of them wanting to deal with someone like me. I'd consider that a blessing.

[Nikki1989]

With that attitude, people like you deserve to be alone.

[Juxtapose]

So you assume people you date are going to stick with you for good? If you date 20 people and only 1 sticks with you for life, that is 5% of people being committed.

[KrakenAttackin]

She's not yours, it just your turn. Words to live by.

[Sasha0426]

Does that go for women, too?

[Anonymous]

I'm saying no. The risk of pain is worth the pleasure of total commitment.

[Shiningtempest]

For the sake of my well being, I avoid getting used to having a girlfriend. I have this mindset because I don't want to experience heartache that comes with dating.

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, that sort of mentality is self sabatoge.

[StarsInTheEyes]

I agree, and I believe that mindset also damages the person in the relationship with you.

In addition, I believe that situation goes both ways for any two people in a relationship. In terms of genders, guys are not the only ones having to worry about whether their partners would commit and stay in the relationships. Some women deal with that too.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@StarsInTheEyes Agreed, and yeah thats a fear pretty much everyone who's not a sociopath has, but if you let your fear project that something will end, you are just abandoning the choice to continue it.

People throw the word love around a lot, but ultimately it's just a matter of being stubborn enough to hold onto something or someone that makes you happy. And to me, the OP's mentality is a bit like saying don't bother eating ever, because you might get food poisoning at some point. It's an absurd stance to have in my opinion.