Need advice and some male perspective 🆘?

[Anonymous]

Dating awesome guy (guy A) and recently became exclusive (we have said the L word, he met my parents and whatnot). However, back in December long time best guy friend (guy B …20 years plus and our families are friends... spent holidays together growing up etc.) won an all expense paid work trip for two to Hawaii for being top sales (guy B lives in west coast , I live on east coast).
Guy B asked me to come as plus one, since there's an awards dinner and ceremony with other people from his company, pretty much a large work trip party. Of course I said yes, because who doesn't love a free first class trip with a longtime friend (and wasn't serious back in Dec. with guy A). Guy B is not dating anyone so don't think he wanted to bring another guy or his mom (lol)... and I am under the assumption this is platonic (especially since we live opposite coasts... so he is far from being a threat to Guy A and Guy B and I have always had a platonic relationship).

I mentioned to Guy A I have this trip back in January but didn't discuss it was with a Male friend (guy b ). The trip is coming up and I am scared to tell (guy A) because I don't want him to be upset and worry for no reason, even though I am going platonically. I also don't want to cancel last minute on a good friend (guy b and miss out on a fun trip with a long time friend) Any advice?

[GreekLorrd]

It's important to be honest with your partner about the trip and who you'll be going with. It's understandable to be nervous about bringing it up, but keeping secrets or hiding information from your partner can lead to bigger trust issues in the future.

It's possible that Guy A might be a little upset or worried about the trip, but as long as you communicate clearly with him that it's a platonic trip with a longtime friend and you have no romantic intentions with Guy B, it should help alleviate any concerns he may have.

You can start the conversation by saying something like, "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about something. Back in December, my friend Guy B won a work trip to Hawaii and invited me to go as his plus one. I didn't mention it before because we weren't exclusive yet and I didn't think it was a big deal, but I wanted to be open with you now that we're in a committed relationship. I just want to assure you that it's a platonic trip with a longtime friend and there's no need to worry."

It's important to emphasize that you value your relationship with Guy A and that the trip does not in any way threaten that. Additionally, it might be helpful to discuss any boundaries or expectations you both have for the trip, such as checking in with each other or avoiding certain activities.

Overall, being open and honest is key in any relationship, and it's better to have difficult conversations early on rather than letting them fester and potentially cause bigger issues down the line.

[Anonymous]

I don't think men like sharing.

It doesn't matter if it is platonic, thats a bit like saying that its ok for someone to play with your toy figures as long as they don't put them in their mouths.

That is my stuff.

This may or may not be a problem and it may be a big or small problem and it might be a problem you hear about or not.

Obviously everyone knows that technically speaking what everyone has done is fine but that has nothing what so ever to do with reality, we are not machines that make sensible choices we are animals who make emotional choices.

We are all just pretending to be civilised and enlightened and some do a better job than others but there is no getting away from the fact that guy A is being cuckolded by guy B and everyone knows it, you know it, I know it, guy A knows it and guy B knows it.

Lizard brain say hit bad man with rock.

[FifiJones]

That's such female 'double dipping bullshit'. Then you'll wonder why A (rightfully) loses trust in you.

[Twalli]

I think you should be fine, but I would let Guy B know you're in a relationship so he doesn't try to make it less platonic than you see it as being.

[Anonymous]

Going platonically😆😆😆

You take a trip platonically to Ft. Wayne Indiana. Not to Hawaii! Girl you trippin. 😆😆😆