Male perspective needed. Should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

My story is a long one but i'll try to summarize it. I've been seeing a man I've known for 16 years & we're both reluctant to commit because of the effects on mutual friends. We've been behaving like were dating & both putting in a lot of effort.

Intellectually I can see this working on the long run, I'm struggling with something w/o his knowledge. Neither of us is the others physical type. He doesn't know he's not my type, Im wildly attracted to him & who he is as a man makes me a million times more attracted to him. However, i was already very aware of what his type is. he's into very fair skinned, light haired women, & i am neither of those. I have very dark hair & olive skin, & tho he's mainly a face guy & i know he likes my face, it makes me insecure. He's very attracted to me & can't keep his hands off me, & i know that who i am makes him more attracted to me too, but i don't know if thats the same for him as it is for me. As a woman, I don't know to what extent who a person is & how they treat you can influence men's attraction. Scientifically speaking, if he only gets sexual gratification from me & i bring him peace & comfort, his type should change. We discussed this early on & he agreed with me that if we decide to commit down the line, p*rn & actively getting sexual gratification from other people wouldn't be okay. But its been a few months & his reassurances have gotten more vague if anything. I appreciate that he doesn't lie to me & tell me what i want to hear, but the insecurity is affecting me in so many ways that I don't like. Its uncomfortable because this is the only real issue i see in our relationship. Outside of this, i've never felt so secure & safe with anyone.

Even though i trust everything he says & if he reassured me my doubts & insecurities would disappear, I dont want to open the subject prematurely. Should I be worried about this? Do men's types change? Should i talk to him? Any advice or opinions is appreciated.

[PeachyPie93]

I get the sentiment but every guy I liked or dated I wasn't their "type". But he shows you he is totally into you by how he is with you "He's very attracted to me & can't keep his hands off me" if he is like that with you, he honestly is attracted. Their type might slightly change to more things like you, but people are capable of having multiple types they are attracted to. I would be more worried about the fact you both aren't looking for anything serious with the excuse of friends. That is the bigger issue you should be concerned about lol.

[Anonymous]

You're overthinking this. "Type" is given far more weight than it warrants. I find myself attracted to women of multiple different "types". Your man loves you and treats you well. Let that be enough.

[Asker]

but if there's one "type" you're mostly attracted to, would you be happy with someone you love that doesn't fit that? would that be enough without feeling like you're settling?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes. I'm in love with the person, not the type.

[In_Trance]

You're wasting your time

[BarryLiverstone]

Why ask anon