Am I being paranoid or my feelings valid?

[Anonymous]

boyfriend and I been together 4 years. No infidelity from what I’ve known. Always had access to his phone to enlist trust but now it’s a habit to go through his phone when I see him which in return pisses him off. His old phone broke, so he is using his old work phone which is an iPhone, got a privacy screen protector (which he had on his past iPhone a while back) and a new passcode. This was unsettling for me so I went ahead and got the new passcode for his phone and looked through it. He’s keeping it simple with not too many apps as I believe he plans to go back to his old phone eventually. I always peer closer to look at his phone when he’s on it so I can avoid the privacy screen protector, although I get the sense he doesn’t like that all the time. He said it annoys him when I question him a lot. For example, he told me his coworkers went to a seafood buffet after work, I asked where and how much the food was and he couldn’t recall and I questioned more which he was not fond of. Am I being too much or my feelings valid?

Yes your doing way too much

No your feelings are valid to think he’s cheating

[Monalisa77]

I dont understand this whole sharing phones thing. I really dont wanna be letting a boyfriend look at my phone... And not because id cheat, id never r do that but I don't know. I hate people looking at my phone and why do it when its just going to cause issues

[MementoMori777]

You seem to be letting your paranoia control you, settle down, he seems too calm to be cheating, does he let you see his phone? Or is he always defensive when you mention his phone cause you seem very controlling, I don't know why you want to be with someone you don't trust tho

[Jdjfjcjj]

I believe it trust but verify. She can ask questions like where did you go for lunch. (It's all in the tone) if I ask to see gfs phone, all my exs would hand their phone over immediately. If they asked, I'd hand my phone over too. The point of dating is me testing whether they worth of the ring. Im not going to offer it so easily

[MementoMori777]

That's understandable bro, cause who doesn't want to be sure the girl is worth it

[Sacha_Chudoba]

Yeah... you are giving off "huge red flags". You should probably pack this in. As a dude, I am fully onside of your boyfriend.

If this was me this, would be a serious sit down talk. This is WAAAY too invasive.