What makes a guy ATTATCHED to a particular woman?

[TenderFantasy]

It's obvious physical and emotional intimacy (and time spent BONDING) doesn't do it...

So what does? ? !

[caring__1]

There are many factors, and not all guys are alike, but guys usually start with some type of desire. It can be physical or common interests or personality characteristics. These characteristics lead guys to believe they click together and would be a good match, though they're generally focusing on what works for them rather than what works for both of them. This initial attraction is more likely lust than love... which takes time to develop and become meaningful.

If you're interested in what makes a relationship meaningful enough for the guy to want to continue, then you're more likely to see him believing he is accepted and appreciated as he is (rather than for the potential he can become). Guys defenses grow stronger, and they tend to pull away, when girls feel entitled to mold them into their ideal.

Comfort is important to guys, but that's more related to safety than the comfort women often seek out (which tends to be more materialistic). He wants to feel safe being himself, without constantly having to second guess everything. Drama and conflict limit depth and meaning. Guys are generally open to learning, when women share their preferences or help the guys see what works for them, but they don't like being treated like a child, constantly being told what they should or shouldn't do.

[TenderFantasy]

I feel like a lot of the things you said concerning how men attatch, can be said about women too though. I matched a lot of what you said. I don't feel safe with materialistic things, I don't know a lot of women that feel that way, but maybe your experience is different. "He wants to feel safe being himself, without constantly having to second guess everything" I feel that way too, maybe many women feel that way too. "Drama and conflict limit depth and meaning." Not really, sometimes it's necessary to address problems in the relationship. HOW can problems be solved if you're just QUIET about it? Think about it. I don't know a NORMAL woman who likes drama (and starting it) just for the sake of feeling stressed in the relationship!.. Maybe immature high school girls, yeah, but older, more matured, women? No way. "Guys are generally open to learning, when women share their preferences or help the guys see what works for them, but they don't like being treated like a child, constantly being told what they should or shouldn't do." Neither do women. I don't like being belittled or being controlled. I don't think anybody does.

[caring__1]

This is the problem with these types of questions. They imply most men are alike and most women are alike, but there's all kinds of variability across the board.

Unfortunately, people tend to be more likely to address problems than to gain a clear understanding through the other person's eyes, so problems can be avoided from the start. If you start a relationship with problems, what's the reason for settling for that person? It's one thing to say we don't like certain qualities... it's another thing to avoid or leave relationships that have these toxic patterns. Don't stick around if you don't like what you see, as guys are as likely to make significant changes in the essence of who they are as women are.

[Sevenpointfive]

for me it most certainly is physical and emotional intimacy, friendship, honesty and understanding

[Simslover92]

I would love the answer to this myself

[Debbie14217]

body type... personality

[MittParekh15]

It's a subjective call, but in most of the cases look, nature and her Soft heart of understanding of men dominates the other factors.

[Anonymous]

I've been most attached to women who show a genuine interest in me, or who make a conscious effort to understand me.

[Still-alive]

Well you know my answer. It depends on their ‘attachment style’ lol

[noohair]

I think men develop ideas in childhood the emerge during puberty. And most guys can't explain why they like a certain look of a woman.

[Anonymous]

Wish i knew