Broke up because he said he wasn’t over his divorce, 3 months later he’s with someone new. That proves his breakup reason was a lie right?

[Anonymous]

How can you break up with someone after 14 months together because you’re still not over your divorce and then date someone seriously 3 months later? That’s an obvious excuse for the fact that they didn’t see a future with me, but saw it elsewhere. Do you agree? It’s the manipulation I hate the most, honesty I can work with.

[boggboss]

It really depends for the most case yes but their are plenty of situations where somthing like this is possible

[Asker]

Such as what…I’m interested to know if you don’t mind explaining…

[boggboss]

Someone moving on can happen at any point you two breaking up might have been the pushing factor for him deciding he couldn't drag his heels with moving on and just doing it as 1 example

[Asker]

If you’re already moving on the break up is coming regardless. That’s the same thing. It’s no different (apart from being too weak to just accept it and go ahead with it).

[boggboss]

Wait what do u mean u broke up because he hadn't moved on right so maybe that happened once u two ended things

[Asker]

You’ve pretty much already moved on if in your head you’re thinking about leaving and finding someone else (even if you haven’t found them yet). Surely that’s obvious. Clearly you’ve already decided you don’t want to be with the person you’re currently with. At that point it IS over.

[boggboss]

Over when I referred to moving on I meant his divorce not you

[Asker]

Oh I see. So you mean the regret of not being able to move on with the next person has pushed him to move on with the next? Yeah I can see how that’s the intention, but whether it’s possible without actually doing the internal work (which takes longer than 3 months in my opinion, especially if they don’t believe they’ll ever get over it). I’m just not so sure.

[boggboss]

At the end of the day it could be anything the issue was with him only he could fix it

[Asker]

Yeah I already know this. I’m not looking to fix anything. Just closure.

[Asker]

I just don’t like being manipulated so if my gut says what others are saying then that reinforces that I can trust it. And if they don’t then there’s something new for me to learn.

[boggboss]

But u won't find that online only he can give it to you and thats if he cares too

[boggboss]

Thats fair enough

[Asker]

No, but that’s only if he wants to, he’s lied before so why would he change now? This is the closest I can get.

[boggboss]

Thats what I mean if u can't even trust what he says then u will never get true closure just go with him being shitty and u dodging a bullet

[Asker]

I do, and part of that is me asking here to gage whether it’s me or him. That’s the whole point.

[boggboss]

Is what u or him

[Asker]

The question. Who’s right basically, I think I am with my interpretation.

[Aairs]

Just imagine your question was written in opposite genders. You'd declare him a loser/stalker and her as 'having her rights'.
You're welcome.

[Asker]

Nope. But clearly someone’s done something to you you feel is unfair.

[Anonymous]

Yes it does, he was lying all along and just using you.

[Asker]

It’s so weak. He won’t have changed and the new person will see that soon enough I’m sure.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, I agree.

[Anonymous]

Yeah sounds like it was just an excuse

[Asker]

So why not just be honest about it. Guess he didn’t want to admit to being a bad person. Pretty weak. No wonder they’re divorced.

[Opinion Owner]

I guess it’s a cowards way out of it

[Asker]

Yeah definitely.

[Asker]

I grew up with brothers, I’m more used to straight talk than dancing around things. I prefer directness. At least I know where I stand then, that’s all I ever need.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah direct is the best way instead of trying to hide the truth, it’s also better than holding it in