He says he likes me but he makes no effort to see me. What do I do?

[lemonette]

I've been flirting with someone for about four months. I really like him and he says he likes me but he doesn't make any effort to see me. He sees his friends frequently but when it comes to spending time with me he avoids even though our houses are very close to each other. What should I do? Do you think I should distance myself to see his reaction?

[aoihewgf]

I've heard this from some women and come to find out they greatly exaggerating the situation and upset he still wants to maintain his friends while you into him so much you would like to just spend all you time with him.

If it's a bigger issue as your post sounds, then the best advice for you would be to continue to do the things you did before y'all started dating.

Imagine if his extroverted guy, who let's say goes to the gym, finds time for friends and family, works, and does 20 other things you originally found attractive in the guy before you started dating, imagine if he gave all that up and now just was attached to your hip.
You'd leave him.

Now I'm not saying go out and have ladies nights, present yourself as single, etc. Cause he will leave you. But, go to the gym, hang out with best girlfriend, go for a run, etc. Basically just give him some space. Naturally hell think you pulling back a little (from what it's been) and he may do a little chasing himself

[razelove]

Have you tried asking what status your relationship is straight up? It could be that he thinks your relationship is casual while you think you're more serious or monogamous. Perhaps he's trying to frame it that way, or is simply unaware that you want more attention.
Neither men or women are mind readers, and you're not going to get any closer to your answers without asking and talking.

[Anonymous]

Let his actions do the talking. All the flirting and stuff doesn’t matter if it isn’t matched with equal effort. You shouldn’t have to question whether he’s interested or not because if he wanted to show you, he would, but he isn’t. So yeah, my vote is to distance yourself, no time for games.

[Pinay_ako]

Drop him. He’s not into you. Don’t waste your time overthinking about someone who clearly doesn’t see any future with you. If a man really wants to be with you, he’ll travel across the world to see you. True story

[Genie23]

I trust actions more than words so I'd say he's not that into you. I'm sorry. You shouldn't waste time on him when you could shift you focus and give that time and focus to someone who is into you and deserves you.

[coachTanthony]

4 months? wow life is too short for all that noise. If he was REALLY interested you would know it.

[Summeroflove]

Maybe you should talk with him? Do you make plans to see him? I don’t really know

[BullShark]

Normally, when a guy likes a girl, regardless of how shy, introverted or otherwise antisocial they may be, they'll make an effort to see them or be around them more often, and this is coming from an introvert myself. Now, I generally don't like being around people myself, but if it's a girl I like and have a crush on, I'll still make an effort to see her or spend some time with her, even if I don't feel like it, because I want to be around her.

So to answer your question, if he's seeing his other friends but won't make the same effort for you, then that should tell you where his priorities are, and that he just isn't as interested in you as you probably thought. So it's probably best if you just moved on and look for someone else instead. If he really does like you and he was too busy or something, then he'll try to reach out to you later.

[Mewzinc]

What anime is your avatar from? Or is it just fan art/ a random creation?

[BullShark]

@Mewzinc it's a random artwork a friend of mine gave me, said it reminded him of me. Not sure if it's from anywhere in particular

[Mewzinc]

Oh wow your friend is talented. That's cool you have a good friend who thinks of you in that way. :)

[BullShark]

@Mewzinc heh, I guess you can say that

[zayndan]

I think you should bring up the situation directly and ask him why, because there may be good reasons for this. If his reasons are unsatisfactory, you should then decide what you want to do. Your time is your most valuable asset, and you only have one life to live. Personally I don't intend to spend mines entertaining people who are unsure, and have me in an anxious emotional state because of their ambiguity. I rather spend those months with someone who return the same energy and has enough maturity to know exactly what they want from a relationship

[Ladys_Man]

Tell him to kick rocks! No, I would put him on Ice though if I were you, Like you said but a deep freeze because if I liked someone I sure wouldn't be at my friend's house over yours. I mean is he totally straight, because things have changed quite a bit with the whole sexuality thing.

He likes you for what? To be a convenience to him when he can't get any play anywhere else?

Sounds like that is what is going on to me if he's not knocking on your door, or calling you a few times a day at least, wanting to go over. I know I would be calling to see If I could go over!

I don't know the whole situation though. Does he work crazy hours? What is his age? does he go to clubs?

Sounds like he likes you as a friend.

[Beatrix7]

sounds to me like he's a user or cheating begind ure back tbis move my ex done to me for nearly 2 years oh am busy am out at ma cousins am oot shopping am on ma game am busy it mite have been true sometimes but the amount of timres he said it he was taking the piss fk him he's a usless fk

[ManOnFire]

You should absolutely distance yourself. If he's acting unclear or not going all the way with you then you need to go radio silent on him. It probably will get his attention, but then you have to ask yourself if you're okay with a guy who only now wants to react because you've gone silent.

I think you should not try to keep a thing going with someone who's wishy washy or not serious about you.

[Anemone978]

Like I have heard a lot from people just give him space.. don't message him until he messages you. Keep yourself busy doing things you like. If he never messages you back he obviously doesn't like you on that level, so good riddance. If he does, then keep trying but don't be too available men love the chase.

[Finchie40]

Yea distance yourself , something seems totally off from that especially if he lives close to you ,, so it seems like he is playing games with you , 4 months and he made no effort to see you? That’s insane , my ass would be over that same weekend mowing your lawn 😜

[OfMiceandMen]

I like your idea to distance yourself to see if he really does want something with you. Hate to play those kinds of games, but, he needs to show some interest and more than just the occasional...Hey I really like you, but I got everything else going on in my life which excludes you - kind of attitude.

[NYCQuestions1976]

If he was actually in to you, he would've shown you by actually being inside you by now. I believe that you need to find a new flirting partner, unless you're content with just flirting. This question you asked tells me that you're not, so it's time for you to move on. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

flirting... for 4 months... houses not that far away from each other! decides to hang out with friends instead of ever even thinking of taking you on a date. WOW. the dude is a LOSER. move on! his lack of effort now dictates how little effort he'd put into your relationship if you two were even in one.

[SirJohn42]

If he doesn't come see you he is a dope.
You dont need to waste your time with him.
Because if a guys interested in you he will do anything to be with you.
He would find time for you.

Now if he works a lot might be a challenge to see you. But he would still sacrafice time to be with you.

[AliSulayman]

Depends how the sex is and how well emotionally connected you are.
If the sex is great and you can talk for hours (including both of you) then he’ll always pick you over anything else.
When a guy usually ignores you, it’s because either the sex is regular or he’s in the listening end of conversations.

[lightbulb27]

you'll have to find a way to get into his world to feel him out.

Avoidance won't work with a shy, introverted, or previously "scared" guy. If he's avoiding you, avoiding him back won't get you closer.

[kakaling]

If the both of you has not openly committed to each other, that means both of you is still available. If you are the one that has the higher interested, you should talk to him and check his respond, tell him that you are still available to other males. Tell him, to a female, time is not on your side. Not every male has this kind of understanding. Because time is on their side.

[yourlocaltherapist]

clearly he doesn't like you as much as you like him and you should confront him directly about your feelings then after if nothing changes you should leave hi because clearly he doesn't care about you

[Rei13]

If I’ve learned anything it is that if someone likes you they will make the time for you. You should distance yourself and focus on other relationships. You’ll meet someone better who treats you as a priority and not as an option

[Angelo75]

Hey might be playin' you to make you desperate to chase him and lower your boundaries.
Or he might be having multiple girls.

Whatever his game is, I'd say just move on to someone that really cherishes ur attention.

[DizzyDesii]

Nope nope nope. I’d be on to the next dude

[SeriouslyFunny00]

You do nothing but find someone who actually takes actions. ;)

https://www.youtube.com/embed/YaLnP9uuEiY

[LittleSally]

Sounds like he doesn't like you romantically... or really as a good friend either.

Move on - find someone who actually likes you - they will, 100%, make the effort to see you.

[DermalPunch]

🚩Flirting for four months

🚩Hasn't asked you out

🚩Lives around the corner

He's using you to quell his boredom. I hope you realise you deserve better.

[StormChaser838]

Fuck him, he full of shit , or he would be breaking down ur door if he really meant it. Spend ur time on other options, there are plenty of other fish

[Chrysantenum95]

Actions speaks louder than words. Actions prove what he truly is, while his words proves what he wants himself to be for you

[petitedollbabee]

If his words and actions don’t align, then drop him. Words that don’t align with actions are worthless.

[sheikalana]

He's lazy. Move on. Why do you have to play those games to get his attention? That's a lot of effort from your side and none from his side.

[Adaeva]

He is just being nice. That is guys do when a girl is not good enough to f**k.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Obviously your level of interest isn't the same as his. You need to find a guy that wants to spend as much time with you as you do with him.

[Buttajah]

Reevaluate your own interest in this person. What makes him worthy of
your time and consideration? First,
keep the word like, in perspective.
Liking is very shallow and subject to change. Very questionable and
momentarily.

[Whatnameisnottaken]

If you are the girl on your profile picture I would make a lot of effort to see you. You look too pretty and cool to be ignored. There are tons of man who would stand in line just for you to notice them and talk to them.

[Anonymous]

You should drop him. I thought you were going to say you guys were long distance which is the only way I could see that as acceptable.

[TheFlak38]

Now you have a slight idea of what it means to be a man having to deal with female bullshit all the time.

[shades777]

better you be more interested in him than the other way around, almost never works out when the guy is more interested

[Christoff92]

Give him the best love that he can ever get 😊

[es20490446e]

If you propose going out together yourself, what does he say?

[Shy_Steve]

Just ask him to be your Boyfriend if you like him and if he still doesn't want to spend that much time with you then just stop seeing him.

[Alex8736]

any other questions? lol

[Greenbean27]

The guy is likely has a reserved personality. Does he say a lot?

[art84]

If he has friends and spends time with them over you then you aren't important to him.

[Snedger____]

Yes. Spend more time for yourself, take hours to reply. Make him miss you

[Anonymous]

Get away from him he is playing with your emotions.

[TrillXHippy]

What you should do is MAKE EFFORT to EQUALLY (yes to equality) walk over to his house

[KrakenAttackin]

Maybe he thinks you are a bit rough for him. He may want a fuck buddy but not a relationship.

[Jamie05rhs]

But they're only flirting. Apparently they haven't even met yet.

[In_Trance]

He clearly doesn't like you as much as you think he does

[rebeliouse]

see u as in meetup with you or see u day to day round the house

[rebeliouse]

who u crushing on?

[Anonymous]

You got two choices. Go see him or move on. Either way he's going to be just fine.

[slatyb]

Date someone else. He's not that into you.

[Vegasrunner]

@lemonette Have you guys had sex yet?

[Roula2000]

He lazy want you do the work.

[horndog112]

Tell him that you want to peg him

[Anonymous]

Move on to other guys.

[Jamie05rhs]

Is he fat?

[Anonymous]

Bark at him