When should you give your partner a key?

[Anonymous]

When is it appropriate to give your partner a key to your place? How soon is too soon?

[Leapfrog00]

For me, that requires a certain level of trust. I'd have to know the person for a while. I would also pay attention to their actions. If the person is a control freak or a narcissist, I would probably never give them a key.

I'd say a month is definitely too soon, 3 months is cutting it close, maybe 6 months. The more you know about the person, the better. Even if you were really good friends before you started dating, that doesn't mean you know how they are as a boyfriend/girlfriend. People act differently in the dating world.

If you're not sure, it's best not to give them a key, even if they bring it up or beg, or get upset. You're entrusting someone with access to everything you own. Belongings you worked hard for. I would definitely wait until you're ready.

[Asker]

All fair points. He and I have been officially dating for 6 months but we were friends with benefits for a month beforehand. He lives a fair distance away it's more when he's over and I'm at work. I'd like him to be able to leave without my roommate having to be home to lock the door

[Leapfrog00]

Just make sure there's an understand that he's the only one that is allowed in your home. I gave a friend of mine a key once because she was homeless and needed a place to sleep, and she let her brother in, and he stole everything I owned.

You have a roommate though, so you there would be someone else there sometimes to guard the place. Just be careful

[Anonymous]

When you live together.