We've been together for a while, and it would be convenient for him to let himself in when he comes over. It's also a symbol from me to him that he has my trust and I can have his also. Years ago, this was a huge step. I don't know how things are today. What are the pros and cons? What are the possible meanings and implications? Should I make it a romantic gifting gesture or not make giving the key anything special? Should I give my boyfriend the key to my place at all? We are not moving in together.
If you've put your full trust into him; that he's loyal and respectful of you and your place, I don't see why you couldn't give him a spare key to it. I would suggest rewarding it to him as a romantic gifting gesture; a symbol of trust and comfort in knowing that he is welcome to come by at your place, as long as he's obeying your house rules. Building up trust is very important in a relationship! At some point or another, he'll need to be living with you if you plan on living together and/or getting married one day!
The pros to this is that he has access to your place whether he uses this to meet up with you later, to surprise you when you come home, allow him to clean up the place if he feels like it, a place to crash if he needs space outside where he lives and an emergency stop if a crisis is happening! It's very convenient for him and I'm sure he'd appreciate you giving him a chance like this. He'll feel closer to you; that he knows he's earned your trust and respect to allow him access to a lot of your personal belongings.
The cons to this is only if your boyfriend treats you poorly. He'd have access to your personal information/stuff, being able to eat/drink what he wants there without your permission, allow multiple people in your house without your consent and even trash the place if he didn't care. He'll also need to make sure that if he leaves while you're not there, that he locks the place up so you don't have anxiety about some random stranger walking into your place!
I'm sure with a good amount of communication everything will be fine! This is definitely a big step forward in your relationship with him. If you believe that he's a wonderful boyfriend and will always love/respect you, grant him the keys to not only your place but even more of your heart <3
I still remember the day my girlfriend gave me her spare keys to the house. She told me "You've been so loving and caring throughout my life. I want you to have this; a place you can call home. Welcome home my dear."
This literialy made me ball my eyes out because I've earned her respect and affection to know she trusted me with everything in her house! I was so excited when I moved in with her; that my life was going in a positive direction with her! I've been with her since then <3
You know, I recently went through this. Being older, I asked around and was led to believe it is no big deal these days. She gave me a heads up that she was going to give me a key (we had been together roughly 2 years by this time). At first it seemed like nothing to her. But as time has progressed, she has mentioned it a few times. Kind of letting me know it was a very big deal to her and it displayed her amount of trust in me. The day she gave it to me, I brought a spare for my place and we exchanged keys. So, I reciprocated. So, while there are some that don't see the significance, it obviously still means something to a lot of people.
If yo put your extremely full trust in him than that means u should trust him a lot.. But there are pros and cons Pros are : He can surprise you He will help you with anything If you are sick and need help he can help you with that And etc Cons are : He can automatically change his attitude He can hurt you when u least expect it He can steal your stuff He can force you to do stuff when u don't want to do it Etc
On the safe side I would honestly say no... just because I mean I don't know what ya religion is if it is a Christian then sure I guess... But just be extremely careful I would advise if u do this.. to put up small cameras where he can't see it.. Just to be on the safe side
Since you are not at the point of living together, there is a substantial possibility of this relationship not lasting. How will you handle this when you break up? In the meanwhile, he could make a copy of the key.
@hornymike6969 Yes, I know how it is done. I have done that in years gone by. That is not the point. It is an inconvenience at a time when someone may already feel traumatized.
I personally believe that the Romanticism behind giving someone your key is on the standard of telling them hey I trust you to the level where I believe it is time for us to move in together but this is the first step figuring out whether or not I can trust you with my place even when I'm not around. Technically this is what's going on you're telling the person that I trust you not to you know randomly walk into my house and you know take s*** or below rearrange things without your permission, unless it's like one of those a surprise I'm waiting for you at home or dinner whatever and vice-versa the person has to be confident enough in you that he thinks that you're also a good match and worthy of moving in with them and that's why they give you the key. I know this was a long and convoluted and it might not make any sense but if he does I hope it helps you out
It's obvious that you trust him and you are ready to take next step but seriously isn't this something u should decide.. I mean u can ask and hear so many things here yeah of course some may say yes some may say think and decide or no but in the end you have to decide whether you are give the key to him or not if you really think he is special , if you really thing he is not just everything everyone experience which is a fling you can proceed else you need to take some time and you don't have to overdo the way you present your room just keep it clean. If you are okay with proceeding.
You can give him the key if it makes sense, in a way that is convenient at least as you say.. if you trust him, why not.. Don't make a big deal out of it or try to make something simbolic out of it if it doesn't mean nothing more that a convenience... Also it probably means something, like trust, if you are thinking about giving him the key..
I personally do not understand it. It's not "our" place until we are married (or if we decide to move in together). Until then, my place is my place and your place is yours. I don't see a huge difference between this and actually just moving in together. He could literally show up and be there whenever he wants-for however long he wants if he had the keys, so there is no real difference in my book. That is one of my personal boundaries, that my space is mine until/unless we decide to merge. I mean, is this a merge? Is it not a merge? If you really wanted to from your heart, I assume you would have done so already and not be on here asking opinions about it.
Do you trust him to do the right thing if you aren’t there? (Stay out of your business you don’t want him in? Do you trust friends he might invite over when you are gone? ). It’s not just him, it’s his friends too.
If it's just meant to be for convenience then sure! But, I would only offer it as" a romantic gifting gesture" if you are asking him to move in with you. That's a really sweet idea though, giving your boyfriend a little box with a ribbon and an apartment key on the inside that says "welcome home, here's the key to my heart and home "🗝💏
About making it a romantic gesture i think you should only do that if you know he's really into you and would appreciate it beyond the conveniency. But you should definitely not, not make a thing out of it, as it is a markable step up in trust. Explore more of the idea why you want to, is it only the conveniency or are you yourself looking to step up the relationship? Since you're considering a romantic gesture i mean
This is a bad idea, especially if you're living with roommates. Unless you're planning on moving in together, I would keep things separate. This is like having one foot in the door but not really because you are too hesitant to make a more permanent decision.
Out of convenience, it is no big issue. So he doesn't have to wait on you to be home. It used to be a big gesture. I don't think it is so much anymore. My boyfriend and I have not given keys to each other after almost a year. I would have no need to be at his house when he is not there, and vice versa too, so having a key is pointless. Neither of us have anything to hide, and trust each other. So that is not the reason. Just pointless for us.
Thats not a good enough reason 'it would be convenient for him to let himself in when he comes over'
I think its fine for you to open the door lol 😂 A key is not needed for that
Now if he stays therd after you leAve or comes by himself then fine My girlfriend gave me her key cause she use to go to work super early and i would continue on sleeping. So instead of leaving super early i just stayin and left when i wanted too
If you're still questioning it, then it's not the right time. When you'll have decided in your head and in your heart that you want to give him this access, then it will be there right time. It should happen naturally that you will say "yes I want to do this" and there won't be doubt or regret. You're right that it demonstrates trust, and it's a step you should take if you feel it's right for you... We can't feel that for you on this forum. Good luck!
You both have been together for awhile, which asks me this question as to why you are not living together as of yet? If you feel uncomfortable for privacy reasons or you feel it is invading your space, don't give it to him. I would not want someone to have my key if I had to ask another's advice. The only way anyone has my key is if he is living with me.
I don't know. I wouldn't do it if I were you. The only exception would be if he had already given me the keys to his place! Otherwise, I just wouldn't do it.
There's consequences to everything one does. You giving him your keys is an action that does have consequences, I'm sure you understand that bit. However, the thing we always seem to overlook with people we are dating is that there are some unintended consequences, too, things like him getting way too comfortable around you (maybe you want that, I don't know). Him going through your things that you consider private. There's just too many boundaries that can be easily crossed that you thought you were ready for but in reality aren't.
Also, in my case, I always want the next person to trust me before I can trust them. Takes me forever to form friendships and relationships but I'm hurt significantly less than my peers who trust anyone and everyone!
Just my general view on things! Truth be told, I don't know much about you guys and maybe he's deserving of the trust you are giving him but for me, that's if I were your place, I wouldn't just give him my keys unless and until he had done the same for me with his keys.
Give It if u love and trust him. In our case it's totally different. When we brought our house I paid half of the amount and he paid the other half. So both have one keys.
I live on my boat. In the evening's, the gate shuts and I have to walk out there and let people in if they don't have a card. I definitely trusted her enough, and wanted her to know how much I wanted her around.
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