Do you want your partner to submit to you?

[vishna]

Hi guys, I'll be doing a little series on this topic. So, over the next few days, I'll be asking questions and probing into what submission is, who wants, and so on.

The definition of submission is open to your interpretation. One caveat, this is NOT about sexuality, I'm asking about submission in a non sexual manner. Please answer with that in mind.

I decided to try and tell a story with gifs :) (and make it funny :D yay)

p. s., no anon answers BUT you can go private if you wish. And please other users don't dog people for their answers since I'm not allowing anon (aka cutting down on trolls)

Yes-I expect the final say in almost all matters (what they wear, moving, purchases, where they work, how kids are raised)

Yes-I expect the final say in very important matters (moving, big purchases, raising kids)

No-I expect my partner to have as strong a say as I do

No-I'd prefer my partner to handle the big decisions (moving, big purchases, raising kids)

No, I'd want to submit to my partner on most matters (how I dress, what we buy, where I work, how the kids are raised)

Updates

+1 y

Interesting results so far!

[Bandit74]

I dont want the burden of having to figure everything out so I definitely want to hear her input but I do prefer things working out the way I want them to and being able to make the final call. I dont feel that strongly about most things so I guess with those I don't care too much as long as her desires are not illogical or potentially harmful. However for things I do feel strongly about then I really want my way. So since you specified big decisions, I guess I do prefer that they submit, but not blindly or without giving input.

In regards to how they dress, I have seen that argument play out countless times on this site. The guy always gets bashed and accused of being too controlling regardless of how he brings it up. So I have just decided I won't ever get seriously involved with a girl who dresses in a way I find to be trashy or overly revealing. Better to just date a girl who chooses on her own to dress the way I prefer. I dont expect her to wear a burkini or anything like that but on a modesty scale of 1 being a stripper and 10 being a nun, I prefer something around a 6. So basically slightly more modest than the typical girl.

[vishna]

I feel ya on the big decisions thing. I naturally want my way in big things, but he shouldn't be a doormat.

[Bandit74]

Exactly

[madhatters4]

voted C. i want a true partner in life

[Hidden_P]

I voted for C. Each person should have an equal amount of say and if there is a need for compromise it should come from both sides.

Take moving for example.

I want to have a reasonable size home in the countryside. My reasoning is that I spent all of my time at home (I work from home) and I want to have a family. If I'm going to spend all of my time somewhere I want to be happy there.
My partner has to travel for work and when he comes home to unwind he plays video games online with his friends. His top two things is that it is a commutable place and has very good internet.

The likelihood of both of us being 100% happy with our future home is pretty low. But I understand that he doesn't need extra travelling time, just like he understands I don't want to be in the middle of a packed housing estate with no space and no garden.

It's a give and take.

[teawrecks]

Non sexually? We're equal in our decision making. We may not fully agree on a decision - but we'll just have to find a common ground to agree on pertaining to a decision.

However when it comes to decisions that have to do with their body or my own (I. e. Vasectomy, birth control, etc.) then I don't believe he or I has any say on one another's decision regarding such topics.

[vishna]

11% guys want A. 5% girls want A.
34% guys want B. 5% girls want B.
79% girls want C. 45% guys want C.
5% guys want D. 7% girls want D.
5% guys want E. 4% girls want E.

[teawrecks]

Okay?

[vishna]

That was for someone else! oops! (all that typing... ah)

[lostgirl_searching]

B and C only because when it comes to having a family or moving we both need to talk it through even if it takes a few days or weeks, even a month.
As for big purchases if it's not going to hurt us financial wise, I'm okay with it as long he lets me know what it is and how much. That goes for me as well I will let him know.

[Mustachekitteh]

Naw I rather use both be on equal footing with stuff like this.

[mistixs]

I don't know because I've never been in a relationship. What are the results for girls in comparison to guys?

[vishna]

11% guys want A. 5% girls want A.
34% guys want B. 5% girls want B.
79% girls want C. 45% guys want C.
5% guys want D. 7% girls want D.
5% guys want E. 4% girls want E.

[ElissaDido]

Noooo haha I hate guys with no personality, I don't want him to boss me around, but I want to be his own person!

[ak666]

B or C or D. It's kind of a blur for me and varies by situation.

For example, if we're purchasing a house, it generally works out better if I step up and do the negotiation as well as choosing where we live and so forth. My wife is timid when it comes to negotiation and she's a bit impulsive when it comes to things like where we move which doesn't always lead to very good decisions for either of us.

When it comes to something like raising children I'd certainly want C since we're both lacking in experience here and can both probably contribute something.

If it's something like planning a trip somewhere, I'm pretty hopeless in this regard and that's where I prefer she just organizes and initiates it all. I'm just like, "Derp, where me supposed to go? Derp, okay. Me go there."

[vishna]

""Derp, where me supposed to go? " XD nice

[Mayamoon02]

Sounds exactly like my relationship.
Wonder if your wife is a pisces like me

[ak666]

@Mayamoon02 I've never paid much attention to astrology but she's an Aquarius, I'm Taurus.

[Anonymous]

I'm okay with B or C.

In fact, I prefer C. But to do C? She has to be smart and emotionally strong enough to handle the responsibility. A lot of people want a say but then they actually can't handle it.

If she wants B, I'm comfortable with that too.

When i was 25, i would have voted C without question, and been uncomfortable with B.

[vishna]

Do you think most women are to emotionally weak to handle having equal say in a relationship or deciding how to raise their kids, where to move, what to buy?

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not sure. A -lot- are. over 50%? I don't know.

Some men are too, but women tend to find those men sexually repellent anyway.

[vishna]

too*
Hmm, your last sentence is interesting-Do you think women find those men unfavorable for relationships as well, and do men find weak women (who can't handle purchasing a car) unfavorable as a life partner or just a sex partner?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes women find them unfavourable.

No men don't mind, as long as she defers.

Womens love tends to have a larger dose of admiration and men's love for women has a larger dose of treasuring and protectiveness.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Cutting down on trolls but you invite me? Keep enemies close i see.
I expect to have the final say in very important matters (moving, big purchases, raising kids), but other things not so much. Unless i meet a girl who is really driven and i jive with taking the reigns meaning she thinks logically and not with emotion, then fuck, she can drive all she wants. But in my experience when i give the reigns to girls they have good intentions, but fuck things up.

[vishna]

My man, I don't know who you guys have been dating, seems like my mother was the one who used the reigns best in her relationship. And I think I'm the share everything but I'm better at money and planning person. Everyone is an individual though.

[vishna]

haha, and you're my favorite troll XD XP

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Im probably the worst one on here who still manages not to get banned.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Nah girls for some reason for me are terrible at taking the reigns of the relationship.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

I let go for just a bit and they stop giving a fuck, its like crazy cat lady has walked in when i let go.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

A crazy cat lady that doesn't clean up after herself.

[vishna]

You must have friends in high places.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Jesus christ and allah back me up.

[vishna]

XD and Colonel Sanders, he's a powerful man

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Ah yes him too, i only survive with KFC and racism. I own people

[Phoenix98]

No I'd rather my partner or spouse has her own voice and opinion and at least offers some resistance to my decisions, no one likes a blind follower or someone who won't speak their mind even when they have a problem with your choice.

[Shaft50]

I had to say B... if it was B, then there would be occasions where nothing would happen due to an impasse, as such... but, maybe some discussion beforehand... for example, both being in agreement to have kids (there's no point in one parent wanting the child, if the other is dead against it)...

[Hans222]

Absolutely C: I want to hear from her and we need to take each other into account in everything we do :D
Being a couple is being a couple, if one of us feels bad about something we won't do it or only rarely do it...

[posted]

In the bedroom yes, other than that.. If it's important both opinions should hold merit.

[Anpu23]

Our relationship is very complicated this way, she's much better at immediate financial stuff then I am, I am better at long term investment stuff so we defer to the other when it's appropriate. Neither controls the others clothing options etc.

[Tarvold]

I expect logic to win, regardless of who it's from.

[SvetlanaSavachenko]

I would want to be the totally submissive one in the relationship. Provided the guy wants me to be who I enjoy being.

[ladsin]

C as far as I can tell lol. Although if it comes to an argument I'll tend to defer or come to a middleground

[EmpatheticLady]

Option C. It's important to have both people's opinions.

[HulkkSmash]

Its a good thing we'd never date. I want to control the entire relationship cause i am man

[EmpatheticLady]

@HulkkSmash With no regard to her thoughts or opinions?

[HulkkSmash]

Exactly

[EmpatheticLady]

@HulkkSmash Well, okey dokey then. Good luck to the both of you.

[HulkkSmash]

Im kidding. Yes id listen to her, of course i would. But the decision comes to me the end of the day. I think that's fair enough as the man.

[EmpatheticLady]

@HulkkSmash It depends on the woman. Not every woman is going to be okay with that, of course. 😜

[HulkkSmash]

Im assuming you're not submissive like they?

[EmpatheticLady]

@HulkkSmash Depends on the situation.

[HulkkSmash]

What situation?

[EmpatheticLady]

@HulkkSmash I dunno. If it's something I'm passionate about and someone just dismisses my thoughts, that'd hurt. I'm typically more on the submissive end, though.

[HulkkSmash]

Sometimes you have to get your feelings hurt if he's honest. But in most cases that would just be mean.

Like if you really wanted to go out with your with your friends to the bar id say nope. But if you wanted to start a wedding planning business id support it.

[EmpatheticLady]

@HulkkSmash And you wouldn't allow her to go out with friends because?

[HulkkSmash]

Why would she want to go out past dark without me? Id fine that very odd.

[EmpatheticLady]

@HulkkSmash What does the time of day have to do with it?

[HulkkSmash]

Because thats when all the freaks go out.

[Mesonfielde]

No-I expect my partner to have as strong a say as I do

[DodgersGM]

Only in the bedroom.

Option A sounds nauseating, but to each his own, I guess.

[Prof_Don]

I voted B, I like the masculine role of taking the driver's seat on decisions.

[vishna]

what is your profile picture?

[Prof_Don]

Tails from Sonic the Hedgehog, jumping animation. ✌🏿

[vishna]

ok, I thought it was a meatball :3

[Prof_Don]

I don't blame u for thinking that, all the characters in Sonic the Hedgehog roll like a cannonball when they jump lol

[Nuala]

I think for big decisions me and my partner should have a say. But for other things I think I would prefer to be on the submissive end.

[kelvinmed]

No because them we'd never choose a place to eat we both like and may regret the one I choose or she chooses. It's better to know her taste

[worldscolide]

I prefer a equal relationship. Though i tend to defer to my wife's judgement on a lot of things.