Some might say I'm a girl, I know nothing about what a "real man" is.
I understand that men are starting to realize their value, but this time they took it too far, and I'm starting to wonder who's worst, the "Alpha Male" or the "Feminist"?
Being alpha according to what I've seen and learned, it means disregarding your partner's feelings and making them feel like they're not needed, if they can't get what they want from them then they'll get it somewhere else.
And according to the experts, it also makes a man a simp to show gratitude, to love and cherish his woman.
Men who think like this expect women to submit to them.
So in few words, giving their woman less attention, not caring about her feelings, bossing her around and caring only about their pleasure is a way to excude "dominance" and to send subliminal messages that they're the prize.
Only a damaged woman would stay with a man like that.
And this kind of mentality will lead to failed relationships.
Last time I remember being in a relationship was when I was in elementary school, so I might not know a thing about relationships. But by observing the people who are in relationships I can tell you that lack of communication, lack of trust, pride, and selfishness can destroy a relationship.
Lastly, let me let you in on a little secret... Women don’t really want an alpha male, they want a dominant male, someone who can take control and guide them into the future.
A woman will naturally submit to a man when he leads & loves her properly👌🏽
What's your opinion on someone who says they're an alpha male?
My opinion of anybody who says they're an alpha male... is extremely low.
I immediately know "this dude's a douchbag". It's a really quick way for someone to tell me they suck.
I think that you have a fairly accurate take on this whole stupid alpha male ridiculousness. You know... this was never "a thing" until a few years ago. I don't know what's going on with so many of the younger dudes (by that I mean say...30 and under) but they're embarrassing the rest of us.
If a man is a true leader among men, he does not need to walk around town telling everyone that he is an "alpha" male. It should be obvious and people should WANT to follow him instead of being ordered, coerced, or cajoled into following.
That alpha/beta nonsense is just that-nonsense. A truly masculine man doesn't have to call attention to it.. And what people consider masculine is ridiculous to me. Being able to fix a car don't make you more or less masculine, makes you a good mechanic🤷🏼♀️ While it's handy to have a handy guy around the house, if he's not, I'd rather be admit it and call a professional, than act like: me man me can fix it, and then you gotta pay more to get it fixed the right way 🙄 To me masculinity is a man that has good character, stays true to both himself and his word, will always put his family first above others, and won't conform to idiotic social ideals.
I believe men that consider themselves "alpha males" are, ironically, weak men and likely insecure. An "alpha male" is supposed to be defined as a man that is a leader, dominant, confident, extroverted, and has the ability to take charge in most situations. Thus, it attempts to define a man with traits that women find attractive. However, because many people have different views on what makes a person an "alpha male," and because different people have different views on how a person leads, dominates, expresses confidence, socializes, and takes charge, the term holds no true meaning. For example, a man can be described as an "alpha male" for being a great father, even though he might not be a leader in all situations or the most confident or extroverted man in the world. As a result, the meaning of "alpha male" simply becomes a label that is attributed to men with characteristics and personality traits that other men consider positive. Because it depends on the person attempting to define the term "alpha male," these traits can range from characteristics involving confidence to downright misogyny such as believing that men should completely dominate women in relationships.
As for why I believe men that take too much pride in being "alpha males" are weak, whenever men try to become "alpha males," all they're doing is attempting to live up to other men's opinions on what they feel that a man should be rather than being their own person. For instance, when browsing the web and watching countless YouTube videos on the subject, I've seen various relationship "gurus" attempt to define this "alpha male" phenomenon and sell books and such about the topic to their audience. Oftentimes, they attempt to convince the audience that their characteristics, such as their possible shyness, love for anime and video games, introversion, and so on makes them a "beta male." However, if they buy their products and take their advice, they can become the "alpha male" that women supposedly love. Such advice often involves these men changing their personality because they desperately want to fit in and become a "real man." The problem is because different men have various definitions of what makes a person an "alpha male," even if they change their personality, it doesn't guarantee that they would even become more attractive towards women or even be considered an "alpha male" among men in a universal sense because of those varying definitions.
Thus, this means that men that are trying to become "alpha males" are simply catering to other men's opinions on how men should be, which, in my opinion, makes a man weak. Men that are strong and true to themselves would, instead, take note of all their personality traits, ask themselves which traits impede their ability to fulfill their goals, and work on them so that they can create the best version of themselves rather than attempt to impress others with manliness. For example, if your goals are to find a girlfriend and/or high-paying job, but your social skills, job skills, and confidence are low, instead of trying to become an "alpha male" to achieve these goals, work on becoming more social, skilled in different trades, and more confident instead. As you create a better version of yourself, success, respect, and women naturally follow. I have more respect for men that allow the term "alpha male" to describe the animal kingdom rather than human men and only change aspects of their personality to help them in the long run instead of catering to other men's personal opinions on how men "should be."
An Alpha Male exists, whether someone uses such a term for themselves or not. An "Alpha Male" is just a confident, self-assured man who no longer is gripped by fear and insecurity and knows what he wants in life. It doesn't necessarily have to do with wealth or social success, although sometimes that is associated with it.
Most Alpha Males are generally nice as well, because they don't have the insecurities or pettiness that would cause typical people to act disrespectfully to others. There would be no reason for an Alpha Male to act negatively towards others. While rare, these types of men do exist. Dwayne Johnson comes to mind, for example. He is an example of being tough, but kind. Alpha Females also exist, but are even more rare. Gina Carano is definitely an Alpha Female, for example. Claiming Alpha Males "disregard their partner's feelings and make them feel like they're not needed" is a pretty strong strawman, and simply not true.
Regarding your one point, a feminist is definitely far worse, because at least Alpha Males don't hate all members of the opposite sex out of insecurity (the gender opposite of a Feminist would be an Incel, not an Alpha Male).
Women most definitely want Alpha Males, which at their core, are just confident, assertive, dominant men who know what they want in life and pursue it. I definitely wouldn't call myself an Alpha Male (I'm far from a Beta Male, too), because I'm still a work in progress and definitely am not self-actualized yet.
And no offense, but you're not even a woman yourself; you're a teenage girl. So you could not use yourself as an authority on "what women want" in men. (Especially since women contradict themselves ALL THE TIME, and say one thing, but mean another.) Regardless, women typically aren't the ones who have to attract women, so some men don't take what they CLAIM they want that seriously. The old phrase "You don't ask a fish how to catch fish; you ask a fisherman."
But yeah, any woman who has EVER said she likes/wants "confidence" in a man, especially as a core/key trait, is saying, she wants an Alpha Male.
I know an alpha male is the epitome of masculinity, and as I said to the other guy, don't take it out on me, take it out on the men who push this propaganda. If you're on Twitter check out masculinepeak and beamanforreal also check out the replies.
And no offense taken I clearly know I'm a teenager, but just because I'm a teenager doesn't mean I don't know what women want. Knowledge has no age.
I wasn't "taking it out" on you. I was dispelling that strawman you said that Alpha Males basically treats others like sh*t. You wrote it in your own words. Maybe be more clear next time if you don't want us to take what you mean at face value.
And very few men "push this propaganda." Pretty much just pick-up artists and self-help YouTubers. And no, I'm not on Twitter. Twitter is pure cancer, and I don't even go on there.
nd while knowledge may have no age, but it's rare to be wise without age. That's the fallacy of most teenagers (hell, most PEOPLE nowadays): gaining knowledge, but not knowing when its applicable and when it isn't. Not that I'm saying I always do.
I never said "Alpha Males basically treat others like *sh*t*. I said an alpha "according" to what I've SEEN and learned.
So I would say I was pretty clear on the subject. But then to each his own, I never once called myself wise. I speak from what I know, then if I don't know enough to speak then I keep shut. Have a nice day.
What are the main properties women look for? Men that are hot and rich and confident. So basically attraction, provider, protector. These alpha makes you speak of are the guys with 2 or even 3 of these categories. Their not most guys just most guys women will date. Seems to me the problem is women. Men just want the puss. Some men want other things that come with it but all men want puss. Women are the gate keepers and they choose what men to accept and give it to. They allow this kind of behavior because they grew up being taught they deserve the world. I’m sorry but beautiful women are a dime a dozen. It’s your personalities that give you wealth. This all is important to my point...
You have the alpha males you mentioned who women choose. You have men with some game that I suspect understand dating is a game of numbers. Then you have clueless men that don’t know what to do so they try and emulate success. These men become these alpha males or incels depending on their success. I’m in the last category. Because I have no success in dating and get ignored completely in dating apps the only side to women I see is what I read in articles and see in the media. Women false reporting rape and feminazis calling for #killallmen on twitter. So I have 2 choices... be an “alpha male” to get some or not and believe women are as trashy as the media shows and go mgtow. The only different between your version of “alpha male” and incel is success. I’ve tried being the incel and I didn’t like it. I didn’t like mgtow either though. Both are bitter as to women. Do they not have reason to be?
I grew up thinking being nice was enough... learned being nice get you disrespected and walked on. So I changed it up. I got money and skills. I’m not a top 10% earner but I’m a top 50% earner. If I was willing to take a 50% pay cut for a year I could be over 100k/year within 2-3 years using my family contacts. But I made myself and I prefer it that way. I learned piano and I can cook a lot of things that don’t come in a a box now... I have hobbies like fishing and reading. All this effort and years of improvement and still ignored. Queue the feminists and white knights at this point that ask who hurt me and why I’m so bitter. This is the reason these men exist and honestly as shitty of people as both sides are why should I care how women get treated or how men act? I’ll do me and you can sift through all the jerks ignoring the diamonds covered in coal and grab them fake diamonds.
You are very intelligent for your age. I'm not being condescending.
The good news is that this dichotomy that you are rightfully criticizing is not believed by any older generations in our society.
It's old Marxist BS repackaged for 2021 America. I know that sounds dramatic, but hear me out.
The two groups that you described, what are they have in common? They each hate the opposite sex and seek to only use them for their own gain. These groups distrust trust eachother, feel like they do not need each other.. and isn't it so great that both groups seek to radicalize more and more men and women?
The reason I brought up Marxism is because the destruction of the nuclear family is the first step in societal collapse. This is not a theoretical concept made up by some useless sociology professor. Look at the black community in America in 1930 and look at them now and tell me they are better off as a community. And this has nothing to do with Jim Crow etc. I am simply talking about the collapse of nuclear family.
This is why the feminism versus alpha males narrative has come out. You think YouTubers and vegan tattoo artists made this shit up? No, this was planned. But why who and WHY? And does it even matter?
All I know is that Americans are rejecting it en masse. If you turn off television and the social commentators on YouTube, society is not collapsing. Most men and women love and respect each other. Racial division is not a thing in 90% of our country.
If you take out the loud mouth activist bullshitters, we're doing pretty good out here.
Sorry, to answer your question: A true alpha male has no need or want to ever call himself by that term. In your original post, you said women want dominant males, not alpha males.
Using the term alpha male doesn't make them alphas. I'm sick of this rewriting English thing. Alpha males ARE preferable to women (that's not anecdotal, that's biology and evolution - trust the science) and any man that calls himself one is a simp and should be ignored.
There's an old saying - tell a lie often enough and even you'll start to believe it yourself - and that's the exact case with men who call themselves "alpha".
Because the thing is, is *real* alpha men don't say they are. The way they behave, the way they carry themselves, etc. says it for them. Real alpha men are confident, self-assured, etc. They are oftentimes seen as "pillars" of the community, helpful, etc. A close friend is a *real* "alpha man" in how his sheer presence makes people move out of his way though he doesn't do anything aggressive, mean, he doesn't look nasty, etc. Just the way he carries himself is commanding.
And the irony is, is those who call themselves "alpha men" reveal themselves to be anything but by the way they behave. Many behave exactly how you list - demeaning others, specifically the oftentimes insecure women who date them & believe they can't get better than "alpha man" - as a means of boosting their self-image and fragile ego. Nothing more than a farce.
It's kind of like someone telling you they're "Enlightened". Sure, maybe 1% of people claiming to be enlightened might actually be close or partially "enlightened", but the fact that a person is telling you this kind of reduces the likelihood significantly.
Almost like the old joke, "I'm probably the most humble person in this room, or even on the planet. There's no one more humble than me!"
As you illustrate, there are different definitions of what an "alpha" is, and from your description, it's a prime example of these self-declared alphas who think it means being a bully, ego driven, and competitive.
I would offer an alternative description of an alpha (male or female) as being a person who:
- commands (not demands) respect. - is admired by others - leads by example - nurtures those who are weaker, and empowers others - is gracious when dealing with those who are challenging - is generous with time, energy, praise, and other resources - looks out for the team/community/individual members - is proactive about finding solutions - constantly works at improving themselves, and is a continual student/learner - is neither easily influenced, nor immovably stubborn
... and so on.
This type of person is what I consider to be a "true alpha". The term coming from the dominant leader of a wolf pack. But wolves are cooperative and social, they treat each other like family. Anyone who acts like a douche is just brining themselves and their team/community down around them, and creating weakness which stems from their own weakness. I see this happen quite often in a business setting where upper management has a toxic culture that trickles down due to their own personal issues. And vice versa, you can have very powerful organizations which are being fed from the top down by their inspirational leaders.
An alpha male never needs to call himself an alpha male - just like an actual "strong, independent woman" will never, ever refer to herself that way. Because it's unnecessary - the truth of those things will be readily apparent to anyone who looks. The people who say it are generally the ones trying to convince themselves that it's true when it really isn't.
But the truth is, yes, an actual alpha male - a Top 5% guy - is virtually always looking for a woman to get on HIS life program. Such men have no time and no interest in women who have their own program - he may bang women like that when he's single, but he has no interest in being in a relationship with such women. To be a Top 5% guy requires a ton of work and sacrifice - and also comes with rich rewards - and such men are only interested in women who WANT to get on board with his path - which in most cases means being his wife, having his children, and raising his children. She's going to enjoy a high, comfortable lifestyle, but she's also got to bring value to him (mostly in the form of being a wife and mother) or he'll dump her and find someone who will. And such men have plenty of options.
Are there alpha men who aren't Top 5%? Yes - some are still working their way up, but are clearly on their way, and maybe they're only Top 10-15% today, and maybe they can't demand quite as much from a woman - but, still, competition for such men is fierce, and such men, even the "lesser" ones - are still looking for the best value they can get, and for such men, "value" tends to mean youth, beauty, cooperation, and fertility - not education, career, or life experience.
As for guys who claim alpha status but clearly aren't alphas? Well, fakers rarely get the rewards of the genuine article, do they?
That is kind of how jt has been positioned/sold. First, the 'good guy' who is not unattractive, so - the nice guy - got discredited/declared a manipulator (small % probably were/are, the rest was blacks and Latinos and their envy) Then, Chase Anante marketed girlschase. com, or how to be a womenizer. Many girls fell for the 'temporary company' (even though he eventually got to cherishing being expected of him, he described it in less than glorious terms - perhaps he is gay/bisexual). There is a point of not getting to support _any_ woman's insecurities /posessiveness just because she is scared (we all can be on some level) - but the rest of 'alpha" - for males and for females - is complete and utter rubbish, only applicable to simps, indeed (of both genders). The whole thing is a result of China and India - two extremely greedy cultures - going mainstream since the 90s. I miss, first of all, the closeness and trust and (two sided) attentiveness the west used to cherish back in its culture. (The Chinese do in reality look alike a lot more than the westerners, and try to. impress the IndoArab muslims by swapping women like chairs or clothing pieces - it's ugly, and what makes their cultures inferior) God bless you 🙌
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Wow, so much ignorance here, it’s hard to know where to begin.
Men are starting to realize their value? Huh? We have known our value all along. Maybe it is you who is starting to recognize our value?
Being an alpha male does not mean all the bullshit you listed. It has absolutely nothing to do with those things. It means only that he is confident, competent and dominant, and he is a leader in the sense that people look up to him, respect him and see him as a leader. He does not follow others; people follow him.
It has absolutely nothing to do with disregarding his partner's feelings, making her feel like she’s not needed or expecting her to submit to him. Nothing at all. That is pure nonsense and I have no idea where you got that silliness.
The best men I have known in my life, including my father, have been alpha men. They were caring, unselfish and kind.
You women need to stop falsely attributing negative traits with the term “alpha male” the way you have “nice guy”. For fuck sake, please just stop.
Instead of assuming you should've asked. I never said "this is what an alpha male is" I know what the original meaning is trust me.
You might've known your value as a man, good for you. But because of feminism men started being really insecure and that's one of the main reason why all those "how to become an alpha male" pages were created.
I understand that an alpha male is literally just a man being masculine, but some men took that word and twisted it, If you're on Twitter check out, Masculinepeak, beamanforrealand see what they're really teaching men, and look at the replies.
So don't take it out on me, take it out on the men who are pushing this propaganda.
I'm just repeating what is being said, that's why I said "being alpha according to what I've seen and learned".
It's just another one of those internet myths : that "alpha's" are getting it all, and you're not as a result.
To be honest the so called "alpha" image changes from generation to generation. For some it's the "ladies man" for others it's the "gangster" and for others it's the "rat pack leader" etc etc. You'll always find a different definition and it's usually a trope.
But one things for sure, great people don't harp on about being great, and alpha's aren't alpha's because they say so.
Have you ever heard the saying the loudest one in the room is the scariest. That is what an alpha male is to me. I believe most alpha males are bullies they have big egos and the good fight them way their way out of a wet paper bag. I've been in positions before were these leaders * Alpha Males * you're so freaked out and so panic I thought they were going to lose it right there play get out of the way and shut the fuk up you going to get everybody killed anybody that calls himself an alpha male I have no respect for first of all because they they called themselves an alpha male. I have no use for them far as I'm concerned they all just have big mouths and they like to pretend that they're better than everybody else. And they can't prove it to me they try to prove it to their old ladies because they pick on them and Bully them that's bullshit to. But that's on the girl for staying with them. And most of the time you just have to smile and then laugh because they crack me up
I love what you said it's totally on point! For me alpha male is a man who is confident, assertive, has ambitious and goals, the one who isn't insecure but strong, and a man who can lead a woman to a right one, will treat her right while also having a soft spot for her. Well that's just my dream man 😂
If she's not your type just say so, there are men who like thick girls like her, so it has nothing to do with "tough love". She's not obese she's just thick.
Anyways, I'm not going to waste my time talking about my sis as if she's a piece of meat. Get psychological help. Bye.
If a guy has to ANNOUNCE that he is an "alpha male", then he ISN'T. I would think it is much more likely that he is an "omega man", the lowest of the low. The term "alpha male" has been corrupted from its true, biological meaning, ie, the most physically dominant male of a lion pride/wolf pack, etc., who takes control of all the females of the group, and defends them from other male "alpha wannabees".
I would rather use the term "quality male" (if we are forced to use ANY adjective). A man of quality will lead by example and not via threats, intimidation, and/or revenge. Quality females will be attracted to quality males since these men are aware of the females' needs as well as their own. And just as a man of quality and substance will be subservient to his God, his quality, female girlfriend and- eventually wife- will graciously submit to his wise, servant leadership of his whole family.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
If there was such a thing as an alpha male, they wouldn't have to waste breath telling anyone they were alpha. The whole point of pack animals is that they know their place.
Second, humans aren't pack animals. The idea of some ignorant tosser claiming he's alpha makes me laugh. I've said it before - these people need a class in basic anthropology.
You seem to understand the difference between a so-called alpha and a man. It's as big a difference between a dom (in a dom/sub relationship) and an abusive asshole. There's really no comparison.
on another question similar, I gave an example where on of my female managers pretty much emasculated a guy on her team that said while out at a pub / club how he was an alpha. We spent months taking the piss, it’s just a gift that goes on giving.
Actions speak louder than words.
Also girls tend to want someone they can trust, respects them, makes them laugh, is there to protect them physically and emotionally. Not all really want some guy trying to be Dominant all the time.
simply being nice to people goes a long way and showing respect.
Well, I agree with you. But I think generally those call themselves Alpha are the biggest pussies there are. Because there is some sort of self validation from it. When you can't get your superiority let's say from the competition with other males, not just in strength but also intelligence.. Then they turn towards the female to replace that lost sense of self uniqueness. And in Conservative societies females would force themselves to love it. To feel inferior. Some would think it is a woman thing, but when in fact agreeing with the giant Dr. Nawal Alsadawi, it's merely a psychological problem. No way common in a functioning society. Because they all vary, it's not like every male is stronger than every female... And not every female is weaker than every male. It's all relative.
And when you convince someone that this gender split in our specy is merely for reproduction purpose, you're really increasing the anxiety of their dick fears and dick issues. So yeah...
In My experience, anyone that has to go around saying that they're an Alpha Male all the time are always found out to be compleeeeetely full of shit. They are more like, in a sense, Buffoons. Douchebags. Clowns. Blowhards. Simple Minded. Selfish... that's a lot of Cons weighted against maaaybe the one Pro I might give, which is Confidence. Misplaced as it might be. These guys aren't Alphas, they're embarrassing themselves and they don't even know it. Lots of these types around, you know.. and hence, not very "Alpha" .. more like "Common" .
With respect, I don't know if I fully can back the "Dominant" label you have given, either. Dominant could be even worse. They have a great sense of what they want, and how to get it, but they approach based on a will to dominate! They're not gonna be around much longer was they've conquered the goal. There's always another conquest out there that'll tempt them.
Most of this alpha beta BS is showing us some poor shy nice guy who no one can love or respect because he can't even love or respect himself, and telling us this is a beta don't be like him. And then showing us some machiavellian, narcissistic prick calling him alpha and telling us about all the pussy he's getting.
Anyone who unironically calls himself an alpha male, is basically saying "I have chosen to behave like an asshole because I believe it's the only way to succeed in life"
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