Communication issue?

[Anonymous]

Relationship has ended, living in same house. That can’t be changed right now. It’s a huge communication break down that ended it- I got upset and didn’t communicate it properly. I want to talk to him about this.
Since break up I have been having spending a lot of time alone , lots of counselling by phone and in person because I recognise the things that I need to change about my thought patterns, how I communicate and learning to fall into someone without shutting them out.

In this time alone I have been as I said above spending time alone and also leaving the house to have counselling sessions (I don’t want him to see me all kinds of ruined- I’m ashamed of being this wrecked over this) last night I finished work and had an hour long phone counselling session but sat in work car park then went home I got home few mins after this. He seemed he was mad by shutting me out again with ignorance to my general questions and his body language. How do I communicate that this is what I am doing without showing too much emotion. I feel obliged to tell him so it puts his mind at rest.

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that you want to communicate with your ex about the situation and what you are doing to work on yourself. However, it's important to approach the conversation calmly and with a clear mind.

One way to start the conversation is by expressing your feelings and concerns in a non-confrontational manner. For example, you could say something like, "I wanted to talk to you about how I've been feeling and what I've been doing to work on myself. I know that our communication was a problem in our relationship, and I want to make sure that we can talk about things in a healthy way moving forward."

It's important to listen to his perspective as well and to try to understand his feelings and concerns. Avoid getting defensive or reactive, and instead focus on finding common ground and working towards a resolution.

Remember that communication is a two-way street, and it's important to be patient and open-minded as you work through any issues or concerns. Consider seeking the help of a couples therapist or mediator if you feel that you need additional support in improving your communication and rebuilding your relationship.