I’m an avoidant and if I don’t run away I get into panic attacks 🙂.
How do I deal with it? I don’t.
I've always been an avoidant but I think it got worse over time.
The reason isn't really my caregivers - my parents always showed up for me funny enough! But I did grow up in a toxic environment, so the idea of having a safe close relationship with ANYONE seems foreign to me. And I feel the need to be independent ALL THE TIME and EVERYWHERE.