Do you know your attachment style when it comes to relationships?

Question

Take the quiz below and find out then let us know below!

lilyanony1 · Accepted Answer

I was surprised but I got preoccupied.
I would say that it depends on the partner.
In relationship that fit the normal mould of dating happily, relationship conflict and resolve, active interest in each other and outside interests either shared or explored alone. I'm more secure in allowing the relationship to progress and or fizzle out. Because throughout the key was kindness and communication.
But when I dated someone that took the authoritarian role, who resolved to not articulating his thoughts but demonstrated things like silent treatment and distance because he expected me to just accept and understand that he was 'here' and to 'self soothe' it left me feeling incredibly confused and anxious. Especially when he put me under a lot of pressure for the things he wanted.
Relationships like that feel like they only continue because I'm allowing them too and cause me a lot of mental and emotional pain.
I've just left the latter situation so I am feeling incredibly insecure and tbh fearful about taking the plunge to date someone again.

ch15hann · Accepted Answer

Disorganized/Fearful

I think I agree with this attachment style partially. Yes, I have some serious trust issues when it comes to getting to know people due to past situations. This has greatly caused my ability to really socialize with people and often times I avoid doing so due to the fear that they will just leave me once I begin opening up. But slowly, I'm learning that people come and go, and the people who truly care will stay. And also coming from a family where we are not emotionally/physically intimate with each other, hugging people, or even getting physically close to people makes me really uncomfortable. I think because of this it has also made my love language in the form of gifts as a third party.

The part where I don't agree is how they categorized this as "disorganized/fearful". I think a better term would be "apprehensive". I don't think I'm disorganized/fearful but just dubious of my actions with other people. I'm not fearful of love, I enjoy the idea of it, it's just I'm still unprepared for love.

LeoElias · Accepted Answer

Ahh psychology and specifically b. f skinners side of psych. I remember learning when he tested this with babies :p anyway... I am the dismissive avoidant attachment style which is why I figured out eventually I have commitment isssue. Specifically claustrophobic commitment issues and I am an active avoider. For those who don't know what I am talking about. Someone with claustrophobic commitment issues feel like their freedom is being threatened when they are in a relationship and they always have one foot out the door and never fully commit themselves into the relationship. Hence the ambivalence used in dismissive avoidant attachment style. Active avoider is basically someone in a relationship that calls the shots and lays the rules down and tries to put a lot of distance in the relationship and the passive avoider is the one who is hoplessly in love and runs after their partner. There are different types of commitment issues though and the active/passive avoiders all act differently.

ObscuredBeyond · Accepted Answer

As soon as it said "payment," I got out. Here's what matters: most intrigues aren't worth getting close to. The few that are, are doomed. Doesn't pay to get close. They're just one bad drug reaction or genetic disease or political upheaval away from being taken away from you, and you're right back where you started. And the others? What... gold digging vultures? Pink hat atheist sky screamers? Wolf criers? Karens? Cat ladies? Bartenders? Alcoholics? Closet bi? I don't think so. I don't simp like that.

And if she's a dictator? I lived under one a good share of my life. Not interested.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

So according to this quiz, I'm, "Disorganized attachment."Yeah that's bull. I know for a fact I'm "Avoidant attachment"-"Avoidant attachment types are extremely independent, self-directed, and often uncomfortable with intimacy. They regularly complain about feeling “crowded” or “suffocated” when people try to get close to them... They not only reveal themselves far less to their partner and friends, but also tend not to rely on others, even when they should."

Yeah that's me in a nutshell, lol

mistixs · Answer

"Disorganized / Fearful Avoidant
The Disorganized Attachment Style, also referred to as Fearful Avoidant, is a contradictory attachment style that alternates between the Preoccupied and Dismissive styles. People with this attachment style want to be loved and connect with others. Initially, they present themselves as confident, attractive, and exciting, as if they have life all figured out. Yet, their fear of being hurt by someone they trust makes it difficult to bond and open up. Such individuals might have a hard time dating, since the process of getting to know and trust every potential partner might be painful, confusing, and distressing."

razelove · Answer

Hmm, disorganized. Have to say while I disagree with some of the fine points, generally that seems pretty accurate, and he isn't talking in sweeping terms like a fortune teller.

I do believe the ones we love, while that love is fantastic, it becomes our greatest vulnerability. I liked that quiz, thanks Coach.

Hannah_le · Answer

I got disorganized /fearful avoidant
The Disorganized Attachment Style, also referred to as Fearful Avoidant, is a contradictory attachment style that alternates between thePreoccupied and Dismissive styles. People with this attachment style want to be loved and connect with others. Initially, they present themselves as confident, attractive, and exciting, as if they have life all figured out. Yet, their fear of being hurt by someone they trust makes it difficult to bond and open up. Such individuals might have a hard time dating, since the process of getting to know and trust every potential partner might be painful, confusing, and distressing.

Alyssa11 · Answer

I read a whole book about this and it briefly diagnosed me as anxious. Though I’m not a professional I don’t see people fall into these categories black and white. I feel like we’re more of a spectrum. I fall onto the spectrum more, sometimes I’m more secure and sometimes I’m more avoidant. Sometimes I’m anxious. It really depends on the person and the situation and my age etc.

dragoblack · Answer

Preoccupied is what I got. I have had so many years of social abuse (physical, mental, & emotional) growing up, that it turned into social awkwardness and reclusiveness, along with trust issues with people i don't know and barely know. It also turned me into a DemiRomantic to where i have to get to know someone enable to feel romantic attraction let alone affection

crazyish · Answer

According to this test my attachment style is secure. I'm not 100% sure that is really accurate. I'm bat shit crazy and a lot to handle. Think the test might be broken.. just sayin

luckyinloveandlife · Answer

I got secure attachment. I feel this is actually accurate. When I do trust my partner, and feel completely at ease all of the insecurity goes far away ♥️

0112358 · Answer

I showed up as secure. Not sure I expected that. Some questions are hard to answer because my current relationship and how i'd be in a different scenario may not match.

TruthBringer · Answer

Well Secure apparently.

VenusXO · Answer

I'll take the quiz, but I'm pretty sure I'm anxious/preoccupied. I'll let you know when I've finished the quiz 😊

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

According to the quiz, my attachment style is secure.

TremorJay · Answer

Secure apparently, but definitely the anxious type if I slip in the negative direction

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

A bit of William Marston. Secure was my result  which matches up to my DISC

Coulis · Answer

Dismissing. True. Due to my paranoia and mistrust of everybody.

Anonymous · Answer

Well from my childhood mostly secure, after some trauma as a kid/teen got some preoccupied streaks. I would say secure/preoccupied, same after talking with my therapist.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Got "preoccupied" some of the questions seemed redundant though.

Tuna陶拿恆 · Answer

I'm single; I had to make neutral some of the choices. I got preoccupied 🧐

CoolKatie · Answer

I only got the Anxious Attachment . it kinda right but it quiz by a another pc or machine. I know is fake. it was only right with my mother.

Therisinghero12 · Answer

Got dismissive - avoidant, from what I read it makes sense considering how content I am to be single among other things

Glasgow55 · Answer

I just took the test, and I got "secure." Which seems okay, I guess.

Juxtapose · Answer

Ahaha! I scored "Secure" fuckers xD Whooooaaaa yeeaah!

BUNroaster · Answer

Fair as possible so if you slip I'll slip too. Manipulate and I'll reciprocate

Citizenkirk · Answer

Me, Tarzan. You, Jane.

NathanDavis · Answer

I'm quite confident that I would get the one in the corner that says confident.

Celtero · Answer

Heh, anyone else answer 1 for every question on the first page?

Browneye57 · Answer

Oh gee, that's some happy horseshit eh? LOL

RP_Blackburn · Answer

I got dismissing attachment style. Huh.

ct1243 · Answer

I’m secure, but single..

Screenwriter · Answer

Test says I'm secure. I think that's on point.

Hazelstar99 · Answer

Disorganized attachment style

Aethereal · Answer

I got Anxious-Preoccupied

Smashingdoozy · Answer

I'm preoccupied  👀😳

MzAsh · Answer

Secure

MrJMM · Answer

According to that picture and those 4 categories, I am dismissive and fearful.

maryisbreathing · Answer

Preocupied is what I got

AdithyaR · Answer

Never been in one long enough to know.

Just_Me89 · Answer

Disorganized according to the quiz.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

I taka the title of Dismissing. What’s that mean?

Minahh · Answer

I got secure, not daring anyone tho.

SphynxUK · Answer

Dismissing.

doopayo · Answer

I got an anxious preoccupied attachment

flow03 · Answer

secure

Myob123 · Answer

Ooof! That was brutal. Thanks for the link.

sheikalana · Answer

Secure.

PinkGiraffee · Answer

I got secure

Anonymous · Answer

definitely anxious because my bpd:(

Kit_Kat88 · Answer

Anxious

MannMitAntworten · Answer

My result is: Secure

Anonymous · Answer

Preoccupied

Nazgol · Answer

Disorganized 🤨

SirJohn42 · Answer

loved it thanks

msc545 · Answer

Too long and repetitive, sorry.

hima99 · Answer

No I don't know

yucychan · Answer

I got secure

Catwalks · Answer

anxious unfortuantly

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, its lets fuck... now get the hell outta here.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Secure

exitseven · Answer

It said "Secure"

FakeNIK · Answer

Secure

Do you know your attachment style when it comes to relationships?

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