Do you agree that the silent treatment is manipulative and abusive?

[Anonymous]

Personally I highly disagree. I feel the silent treatment or just being silent and not talking to whomever it is that bothered you is just a frustration response just like yelling, walking away etc. The idea that Person A (the one who's being silent) has to talk to the Person B just because its now stressing Person B as a result of their own actions is ridiculous in my opinion. The idea that the person who previously wronged someone now is the victim just doesn't make sense to me.

Everyone has different responses to being upset so the fact that some people would try and make it to where being silent is an issue but would also be upset if the same person yelled or had a conversation where through their anger say something hurtful is weird. They are essentially saying no one's feelings matter but theirs and there lies the issue.

No this isn't personal experience by the way lol Just saw this being discussed and thought to get thoughts and opinions on it while also sharing my own.

[JustinTheGreat]

Believe it or not, being completely silent or yelling are not the only two options there are when it comes to communicating lol.

I’ve experienced my husband do both. He’s given me the silent treatment to the point where I was begging him to talk and tell me what’s wrong…cause he would be upset about something and refuse to tell me what it was about.
And he has also yelled over me cause he thinks being loud and talking over someone makes him correct…

Neither one are affective ways of communicating. I don’t know if I’d go as far to say that the silent treatment is abusive. But it’s certainly childish.

[Asker]

"or had a conversation where through their anger say something hurtful is weird." I never said those were the only two options. I just named the two extremes that people have when it comes to emotional responses. One is to loudly express themselves and the other is to remain silent.

In my other response I agreed that if doing this just to bother someone else is childish but if its literally just your response so that you can calm yourself to not say something out of anger its actually mature. Taking the time to gather your thoughts silently is fine. If its a situation where the other person is unaware of the issue and you're being silent then thats an issue but if its after an argument or falling out its not a childish response in my opinion

[DextroShade]

I call it pouting and it's just petty and immature.

[provokeesmokee]

It literally is.

Witholding communication is abuse.

The mature and adult thing to do is not to ignore and avoid, but address and recognize. If the other party refuses, then you need to seriously reconsider if you want to keep that person around.

Silent treatment is how people too cowardly to have difficult conversations manipulate the people they're scared of confronting.

[Nikki1989]

No, but it is very childish. Mature people don't play those games.

[Asker]

I don't know, to me I would say its immature and childish if its really just to bother someone. If its just to cool off and just get their thoughts together I would say its also a mature approach

[EmmaMary]

It's also so pathetically immature and childish.

[dudeinohio]

It's a mind game.

[slatyb]

Yes, I do.