my ex girlfriend became triggered around me due to her past abusive relationship and other past SA. We talked about it and she didn't blame me for anything she was struggling with her trauma and realizing that she could have complex trauma. We tried to continue to work on things but she kept pulling away. I continued to try and show her support, love and give her the space she asked for. I would check in with her by text every couple of weeks. We would see each other every few weeks. We also stopped having sex for that time since it was triggering her.
Around Christmas she ended the relationship saying she wasn't sure if she could heal and find herself while being in a relationship. However she didn't want to lose me either. We have slowed our communication down to maybe once a month with some sporadic in person meet ups for lunch.
I try to keep those meet up light and just chat with her and ask how she is doing. However she does bring up that she is not dating and not ready to date. I'm would definitely like to try again on our relationship but I'm not trying to push that on her.
One part of me wants to ask if she could ever see a future with me again, but I don't want to pressure her by that question right now. I'm not sure how to proceed in this.
Would the best thing be to let her come back to me if she wants to try again.
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"Complex trauma" is just another way of saying, "I still feel sorry for myself and I take no responsibility for my own emotions, so I'm gonna blame everyone but myself and act like a victim forever"
It's not on you to help her through her shit that she should've been over the moment she met you. My last girlfriend had "trauma" from her last boyfriend too, and the only one who truly suffered from it was me.
Having to deal with her bullshit all the time and expecting me to put up with it because she's a victim.
I dumped her ass and so should you
Sorry I missed the part where she's your ex lol.
Keep it that way
You need to move on and not even consider the idea of being with her again. Treating it with this approach will let yourself be free eventually. If she contacts you in the future and wants to try again, then just consider it if you're interested, but don't rush into it.
Any time someone is desperate for a relationship to happen is going to get hurt.
She doesn’t want you and is just being nice about it